building a coffin [your size] :: MAGPIES
Jan 9, 2013 14:57:32 GMT -5
Post by Onyx on Jan 9, 2013 14:57:32 GMT -5
Mama, we all go to hell
Mama, we all go to hell
I'm writing this letter, and wishing you well
Mama, we all go to hell
urbanemagpie
[/size]Mama, we all go to hell
I'm writing this letter, and wishing you well
Mama, we all go to hell
urbanemagpie
[/color][/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify]In a District such as mine, a black market of supplies is always readily available. From the trinkets that hang on doorframes, splintering tabletops or in the arthritic hands of the old women that sell them to the goats and pigs that still survive, sick and skinny, even with all the pollution in this industrial district, anything a citizen could ever need or desire can be found in the darker streets, behind the belching factories or grotty brothels (where I always seem to hear my Elodie's laughter, but it must just be the fumes) and all the places the Peacekeepers are too disgusted to look. It sickens me, how they can hold themselves in such high authority but adopt a high-and-mighty attitude so easily when it comes to finding the source of the trouble. We're worthless to them, lower than the shit on their shoes or the grease on their guns. It makes it easier to get what we need, granted, but some sort of justice if often needed in the lesser-surveyed parts of our District. I, more than anyone, know that.
The two squirrels I traded for Halle's old winter boots, fresh and skinned as well, lay on the kitchen table next to a handful of herbs and a large knife. The shine of the steel has all but tarnished completely (else I know Celeste would have the instrument hidden by now) but it's still as sharp as the day I was given it. That's a particular routine of mine: every I own has its place, and deserves to be treated correctly. Would a mother bird ever leave her nest, eggs or younglings to be destroyed? The table itself is clean, set for eight, and the empty space that should be filled by my husband is where tonight's dinner preparations lie.
I hear the pot of salted broth begin to boil behind me, and I can't help but feel guilty for serving my chicks such a bland meal so regularly. If Savoy wanted to, he could go out and hunt for us, but I know he's afraid that it would taint his reputation as a perfect citizen. But isn't caring for one's family so much more important? The boy is selfish; he never does for the good of this family, just like Braxton. The rest are, in their own way, too. Justice refuses to talk, focused only on her bizarre theories and the solace of loneliness. Meryem has only ever been half there, since I reclaimed my power by driving my sisters away. And the others, Kirk, Celeste, Elodie and Halle, my beautiful, vulnerable children with their quirks and oddities, they drain away my love and life without giving anything back to me. And, eventually, they will all fly this coop, never to return to me. Most of them are out of the house now, not too far away (for I clip their wings with warnings of the dangers of District Five, emphasising every point until I can see the fear in their eyes) but still absent. I work alone, slaving over their meals without thinking too much of myself or what I need. Everything I do has always been for them.
Turning to the open stove, cupped hands full of squirrel and plain-smelling herbs, I notice again how cold it is. Winter is at its peak, and not only are the windows webbed with frost but a breeze has seeped through the cracks in this old house and now sends goosebumps surging over my pale flesh. If it weren't for the welcoming heat of the flame and the steaming soup, my breath would be visible before me, I am sure of it. Always, when my children leave the house, they take the warmth with them. Without theirsevensix voices ringing through the halls, this house is a shell, and me with it. All I can do is keep myself busy, and wait for them to return. Then, at night, when I can wish my own darlings goodnight, I am restored, knowing that they are safe, satisfied, happy?
I hum as I cook, adding seasoning to try and hide the taste of the stale, calcium-heavy water and the plain meat, a tuneless improvisation that I can barely hear myself. It makes a somewhat peaceful cacophony over the clatter of the spoon and the dull bubbling of the dinner, reassuring me that, as a family, we're still doing alright. Even without Braxton's personal presence, his income covers our whole brood to a degree. However, I quickly cease my melody as the wind picks up again outside, and a chill passes through the air. All I can do is hope that the younglings will be home soon, and I can stop feeling so nervous and paranoid. Without them, it's as if Rosa and Cissy are round every corner, and Halle's lost voice, too, ready to accuse me of my terrible, though just, crimes against them.
Then, the loud, drawn out creeeeaaaak of a timber somewhere in this skeletal building distract my attention entirely. I jump, muscles contracting painfully and heart hammering like an army in my ears. I turn fast, listening intently for a second noise, for any indication of an intruder in the house (it's safe here, we're safe). Too fast. I spin round again, thankful that my reflexes didn't leave when my young, carefree perspective on life did, but it's already too late. The pot falls to the stone kitchen floor, soup extinguishing the stove as it tumbles over the edge. A crescent moon of porcelain forms around my feet, and I watch with some empty horror as the still steaming broth hits the pale, exposed skin of my calves and ankles.
The pain doesn't come for another three seconds (I know because my heart beats nine times before my screaming drowns it out) and them I'm falling too, knees crumpling as my hands scrabble uselessly at the burning-hot, broth-covered surface. Shards of porcelain enter my skin, staining my black skirts a deep maroon as blood blossoms through the fine fabric. My feet ache as the skin burns, hot, searing pains that travel down to my toes and up my newly shredded legs. I yell out, begging for someone to come and help me, my children, who should be returning home at any time, my husband, who I haven't seen in far too long, a stranger, a Peacekeeper, anyone who can help me.
My screams burn my throat and make me hoarse, tears running freely from my dark eyes, and I bang my fists on the floor to avoid thinking about the pain. For a moment, I am so absorbed in my own pain-ridden state that I forget that now there is no supper for my chicks. For all my life is pain, even though I cover it with a mask of care and love. I am all raw, burning skin and pain. I am dying already, crying out for help, silently, while still pretending that I can look after others. Indeed, it seems that I am in no way capable of looking after even myself.
I can only pray that the help I need comes quickly.
And when we go don't blame us
We'll let the fires just bathe us
You made us oh, so famous
We'll never let you go
[/size][/center]We'll let the fires just bathe us
You made us oh, so famous
We'll never let you go
[/justify]ooc: Hello, Magpies! I know Tristen isn't quite done with his app, yet, but the rest of you are all set to join in this thread so it's up and Halle can arrive home later! I kinda want the children to return home in ones or twos, all from their separate places and with a different story of their day. This is an introduction thread which means that you all have a chance to develop your Magpies in detail, and react to the situation at hand. I look forward to continuing this thread, and reading what you've all written! Happy posting!