An Old "Friend". (Chaos)

It's been... god, half a year now since we finally made it into District One? Time passed in fractures after we were let out of the Detention Center - it was a tunnel of hunger, bandages, and escape. I let Luna take care of me because she was the only one that could mend my burned hands and sew my mind back together. My body was a violated temple and she slowly cleaned me until I was more than simply a shadow of my former self. I owe her the world for that.

Things haven't gone completely back to normal. My hair still only brushes my neck and I flinch at the sight of flame - the black gloves I wear are rough against my scarred palms. It's a miracle I can still even feel with them. The days are filled with paranoia, watching those white suits with all of the distrust I've come to know and yearning to return to the Lightwood manor where I can unwind with Luna by my side and Riley jabbering on in my ear. Life is... I wouldn't say good, but passable. Better than it's been in a long time.

I don't think of District Nine if I can help it. It hurts too much - I spend my days weaving in and out of the underbelly of this shining District with my fingers in the pockets of those that have always been more fortunate than me, lifting a few coins here and there until my pockets are heavy with wealth. On most days, however, I run whatever my boss gives me. I've become a master of subtlety, a mere shadow in the alleyways, ghosting through the town as if I didn't exist. After that time where he pointed a gun to my head and told me to do what I was told, I didn't question him. Too many things are at stake.

Today I have a package tucked into the pocket of my coat and an enemy to look out for. My steps are quick as I slip into the gloom of the back-streets, ears perked to the sound of movement behind me. He approaches on my blind side but I can still hear him, feet light as he aims to catch up with me. His hand falls on my shoulder - I stop abruptly, reaching back and crushing his wrist in my titan's grip, spinning on the spot to face him. How does he know my name? I haven't been here long enough to gain a reputation, so focused with providing for Luna that all else I would have done in a previous life simply faded away. Once a criminal always a criminal is perhaps the truth of the matter, but I like to think I'm more than what my actions make of me.

I squint at the man - no, the boy - in front of me. Something is familiar about him, an echo from past lives. Even my blind eye remembers his face. "Ghost?" I ask in disbelief, slowly releasing his cramped wrist. "What the hell are you doing here? You're a long fucking way from home."

It's been years... and this was a phantom I would have been content with burying a long time ago.

Jones? Who's Jones? I stare at the trinket in my palm momentarily, drilling holes into the wood, seeking back through the strands of my memory in an attempt to fish him from my consciousness. Those days were hard - I hadn't found Kaya yet, I was barely friends with Luna. My existence was nothing more than living scattered day after day in an attempt to scrounge up enough to survive. Was I still with the rebels? I tried my best to detach myself the moment that compound went up in flames with so many people still within it, eventually forgetting that facet of my past. If you dwell too much on things you can't change you receive nothing but heartache.

His question brings me back to the present. "Dwyn?" I utter with raised eyebrows. I remember her - blonde hair, sharp tongue, killer body. We would have been good friends a few years back if I got to know her. "I haven't seen her since that night I slept with her, Ghost. She disappeared off the face of the earth." The fact that he could even find me to ask for information is a bad thing; were our tracks really so sloppy? After Kaya left and never came back I had to leave that place - finding Luna was simply the saving grace. Apart from her, I never wanted to see facets of my old life ever again.

"Walk with me, these alleys are a breeding ground for bad news." I shoulder my coat higher on myself and spin around, expecting him to follow. Winters here aren't as brutal as the ones in Nine (it helps that I come home to a mansion with actual heating, I didn't know that was possible) but it still nips at my scarred fingers and the sharpness of my cheeks as the wind whistles through the streets. My thick jacket - courtesy of Riley, he actually got a strangled thank-you for that - is the only thing that ensures I don't turn tail and tuck shelter into the nearest building. This place is making me soft.

"Speaking of which, how the hell did you disappear for two years without hearing shit all? Even wandering about forever news manages to leak back somehow." Are they related or something? I don't think she had a boyfriend the night I was with her - if she did, it'll make for some awkward conversation.

My body turns and my hands bunch his collar until he hits the wall with a dull sound of impact, the bricks cold and wet under us. My breath washes across his face and creates a white steam in its wake. "Don't you dare call me a coward, not after you vanish to be on your own and leave all your responsibilities behind while I was trapped there with nothing but corpses and tortured memories."

Kaya spent a year by my side. With her I relived what my youth was supposed to be had her family not taken her away - we had a house together and I was the happiest I'd ever been on that frozen lake late in December. But her brother fell ill and I was once again abandoned. Months passed - I forgot my birthday, but never hers. When Luna departed, it was the final cut. "Do you really know anything about me? Hm?" I snarl, my teeth glinting harshly from the dim sunlight that filters down into these crevices of society. "We were partnered for a week, if that, back when we thought we could change things. But we can't - not there. Not like that."

My eyes roam over his face and I scoff. Who is he to question me? I've suffered more than he ever has. "I should gut you for the complete stupidity that just came out of your mouth, but I promised Luna I'd try to reel back my murder charges. They've cost us too much already." I throw him to the side and wipe my hands on my coat, grimacing as I run over the package in my pocket. I still have a job to do, no matter how many memories he insists on pulling alongside him. At this point, I no longer care if he follows or just loses himself somewhere in the gutters of this place like so many before him.

I wind through the streets and duck into a corner, hammering on a faded door. It clicks and an eye peers out curiously - it starts back when I press a revolver to its forehead. "Delivery." I growl, pleased when he backs up and I can kick the door open with a muffled bang. My aim doesn't waver as I throw whatever it is on the table. "Money. Give it now." He stares at me wordlessly and I fire a warning shot above his shoulder. "Well?"

Coins clink into my palm, and I smirk before turning on my heel and retreating back into the shadows. Properly counted, I stuff it all in my pocket and begin to walk when I raise my eyebrows and turn to the side. "You're still here? Look, I don't have any information. As you've so elegantly stated I've forgotten her and my real self, woe is me. I don't know what else you're hoping to find."

"I have shit to do, and I don't have time to babysit." I growl in annoyance, shoving the gun into my waistband and flipping my hood back over my head. I feel a bit like gutter-trash, stalking the streets like this, but at this point I don't care much. I've learned to ignore what people think of me. "And you're going to shut your mouth about her if you want to keep your tongue." My voice is a coarse snap, the golden ring in my pocket burning through until it sears all the skin it touches. I could never bring myself to throw it away, not even after she decided life in the higher districts would be better without me. The only jewelry I wear is that crescent moon, never given away even after so many years of holding it safe around my neck.

He makes it sound like he's - we're - some vicious animal(s) that can't stop killing. I've been able to conquer the voices in my head and the temperamental lust for blood into something productive, shown by my loyalty sworn to the Lightwoods. They didn't need to take us in, especially not useless as I was, but they did anyway and nursed me (us) back to health after letting us sleep in their beds and eat their food. Even if Riley is a complete pain in the ass all the time and makes me want to rip off my own ears, I owe him too much to speak of.

"Maybe if you do something other than wandering around the forest like a nut you'll find that something you're looking for. That elusive cause you're going on about."

Our time in the forest was trying, to say the least. Trying to journey in coming winter for those somewhat inexperienced isn't a good thing - for the first half I was leading the blind, and for the second I could only rely on Luna's impeccable aim for food. It's still strange seeing people here wander with full bellies and expensive clothing, like they never had to starve. I peer out into the streets and cross quickly, dodging the few mobilized objects that zoom past. (I'm not used to the noise, and they still hurt my ears.) My hand snakes out in the crowd and snags a lit cigarette about to be inhaled, disappearing back into the throng without being caught the culprit. (Lighters are impossible odds now, unable to be touched. I have to ask others to light them for me.)

"Look, that whole forgetting who I am shit? It's called growing up." I inhale a lungful of smoke and remember the maze of warehouses before me, knowing I have to oversee a shipment. Being placed as lieutenant gives me more liberty, but much more room to fall. "I can't be that kid you remember, because it's going to fuck up everything I've accomplished so far. I have these things called responsibilities now, one of which I have to fulfill at this moment - and if you accompany me, it's likely we'll both be shot in the face. I really don't need another setback right now." Can't he take a fucking hint?