You're in my "Kingdom" now [Meghan]
Feb 1, 2013 20:00:50 GMT -5
Post by Anna Banana on Feb 1, 2013 20:00:50 GMT -5
It was terrible, nothing was going right, it was all just terrible. The men of the family had gone to work with high hopes that today would be the day they actually made a decent haul. Suffice to say that they didn't, they came home with expressions that showed defeat and, well, the longing to just give up. My mother being that wonderful woman that she was, don't get me wrong I still love her, but I'm usually the one that gets the brunt of her rage. In her eyes the boys can do no wrong, they're little angels that were sent from the heavens to make her life easier. Sadly I'm not sure what she thinks of me, when I was first born it seemed as if she loved me, I was kind of a wreck. At first she tried to help me, make me look better, help me get over my anorexia, but I was a hopeless case. Nothing seemed to help me so eventually I became the forgotten child, okay, maybe not the forgotten child, but I was more of an avox to the family than an actual member. So anyways they got home, and my mom took it out on me, a slap across the face and a demand to get to work cleaning the house. The usual shouts and curse words were spat at me as I set to work, I was so used to them that I would probably go into a state of shock if I didn't hear them.
Sadly that was how the rest of the evening went, I worked around the house until it was sparkling clean. Or at least as clean as a house in the slums of District 4 can get, and when I say slums I mean it. We lived in a shack that could barely hold me, my five siblings, and my parents, it was dirty and ugly and not much of a home at all. I hated every bit of it, I hated every bit of my life which was a living hell. People hated me and laughed at me, I was the freak that didn't fit in with anyone else. Just because I was childish and liked to dream up fantasies to live in didn't make me any less of a person. People didn't understand though, either that or they chose not to understand, instead they prefer to poke fun at me and see me cry. I'm unloved, even by my own family, and people wonder why I've sunk into a depression and live in fantasies. At least in the fantasies I'm loved and people don't make fun of me and I'm not...ugly.
All those thoughts swirled through my head as I crept under the blankets that lay on the floor. The cool air whistled through the cracks in the wall making me shiver. My mother's voice could still be heard yelling something inaudible to someone in the house, probably thought I was still around to yell at. Involuntarily another chill ran up my spine as I continued to hear her yelling, and I pulled the blanket up over my head as if to hide from her. For hours I lay on the floor huddled under the covers afraid that if I moved my mother would come running and yell at me. I had to escape though, I couldn't take it anymore, I needed to get away from it all, I needed to escape the harsh reality of the real world and enter the world of my fantasy. Throwing the blanket off of me I grabbed my shorts and slipped into them, and found one of my sisters shirts available for the taking. Quietly I crept to the window and climbed out into the fresh air of District 4, away from the yelling and cursing, and away from the suffering. Taking in a deep breath I closed my eyes and lifted my face to the night sky, I just stood there in the silence happy to be free. The world was my playground and I was it's queen, at night this was my kingdom, no one could hurt me.
I opened my eyes and walked down the shore listening to the gentle sound of the waves upon the beach. The moon hit this part of the beach perfectly making the setting almost magical and entrancing. This would be the perfect place to establish my kingdom, here would be the place that all my royal decrees were made. Sitting down in the sand I began to shape a sand castle, it would have walls that reached the heavens and rooms to provide for all of District 4. I was their loving queen, everyone loved me because I loved them, I was understanding and sympathetic to their plights. I was beautiful, so unlike the me that existed in the real world, people would come from miles around just to see me smile. Another impossibility in the real world, I never smiled at anything, even during those rare stretches when I was "happy".
This is my kingdom, and I am your queen, Hallie Croft, everyone will know that I am their master, but I'm a loving master. I care about everyone even if you don't care about me. Because I know what it's like to be unloved and uncared for, and to be treated badly.
Sadly that was how the rest of the evening went, I worked around the house until it was sparkling clean. Or at least as clean as a house in the slums of District 4 can get, and when I say slums I mean it. We lived in a shack that could barely hold me, my five siblings, and my parents, it was dirty and ugly and not much of a home at all. I hated every bit of it, I hated every bit of my life which was a living hell. People hated me and laughed at me, I was the freak that didn't fit in with anyone else. Just because I was childish and liked to dream up fantasies to live in didn't make me any less of a person. People didn't understand though, either that or they chose not to understand, instead they prefer to poke fun at me and see me cry. I'm unloved, even by my own family, and people wonder why I've sunk into a depression and live in fantasies. At least in the fantasies I'm loved and people don't make fun of me and I'm not...ugly.
All those thoughts swirled through my head as I crept under the blankets that lay on the floor. The cool air whistled through the cracks in the wall making me shiver. My mother's voice could still be heard yelling something inaudible to someone in the house, probably thought I was still around to yell at. Involuntarily another chill ran up my spine as I continued to hear her yelling, and I pulled the blanket up over my head as if to hide from her. For hours I lay on the floor huddled under the covers afraid that if I moved my mother would come running and yell at me. I had to escape though, I couldn't take it anymore, I needed to get away from it all, I needed to escape the harsh reality of the real world and enter the world of my fantasy. Throwing the blanket off of me I grabbed my shorts and slipped into them, and found one of my sisters shirts available for the taking. Quietly I crept to the window and climbed out into the fresh air of District 4, away from the yelling and cursing, and away from the suffering. Taking in a deep breath I closed my eyes and lifted my face to the night sky, I just stood there in the silence happy to be free. The world was my playground and I was it's queen, at night this was my kingdom, no one could hurt me.
I opened my eyes and walked down the shore listening to the gentle sound of the waves upon the beach. The moon hit this part of the beach perfectly making the setting almost magical and entrancing. This would be the perfect place to establish my kingdom, here would be the place that all my royal decrees were made. Sitting down in the sand I began to shape a sand castle, it would have walls that reached the heavens and rooms to provide for all of District 4. I was their loving queen, everyone loved me because I loved them, I was understanding and sympathetic to their plights. I was beautiful, so unlike the me that existed in the real world, people would come from miles around just to see me smile. Another impossibility in the real world, I never smiled at anything, even during those rare stretches when I was "happy".
This is my kingdom, and I am your queen, Hallie Croft, everyone will know that I am their master, but I'm a loving master. I care about everyone even if you don't care about me. Because I know what it's like to be unloved and uncared for, and to be treated badly.
