When {Life Gives you {Lemons ... [KALE]

I let myself laugh as (yet again) Jay throws a flush down onto the floor in front of me. It's the fifth time he has beaten me in the past hour. I throw my cards down in front of me before standing. He must be cheating - has to be cheating. The kid is beating me at my own game. "You suck." I say, laughing as I shove him to the ground just as he slips the pile of cards into his pocket. He laughs before he picks himself up off the ground. "I suck? Who just one five games in a row?" He shoves me from behind and I find myself falling into the doorframe. I swing my fist behind me but get nothing but air. He laughs and I have to smile at him. I grab a throw pillow from the couch and whip it at him and it makes a sort of poofing noise as it hits him in the chest. He falls to the ground, rolling around, feigning injury as he tries to turn his laughter into agonized moans. I pick of another pillow and throw it at him and he starts to laugh again after the pillow hits him in the face. "Don't forget that I'm bigger than you, Toothpick." I say before picking him off the ground and grinding my knuckles into his skull. He laughs and tries to shove me off him so I shove him onto the couch where he stays, chuckling to himself as I walk past him into the kitchen. I smile as I pass him, giving one last chuckle before I open the refrigerator. Empty. Nothing but cold air greets me. I frown, knowing there was a few slices of pizza I had left for supper tonight. I walk to the table and find a dirtied plate with pizza remains scattered across it. (I always thought beer was enough for mom but I guess not?) I pick up the plate and toss it in the sink where it clatters before falling silent. I give a sigh, grabbing my jacket from off the back of a chair in the kitchen. I put it on as I re-enter the living room where Jay sits (and by sits I mean lays in an unorganized fashion) on the couch watching a recap of the last games on TV. (It's a piece of junk but better than the one I smashed to bits.) I almost turn it off but then decide not to start a fight with Jay. Besides, it was one of those recaps that was following Peridot's struggle for survival and the only time the victor ever sees Naveen is when that prick from nine tosses her head at his feet. "I'm going out to pick up some food, okay?" Jay raises his hand in response his eyes glued to the TV as the finale begins. I walk out the door as the commentators laugh at her head rolling across the ground.

The air outside makes my breath fog at my lips. I pull my jacket collar up around my ears before I shove my hands into my pockets and start down the street in the direction of the store. My head whirls with thoughts of my sister and my mom and heads rolling and smashed televisions and how my boss is making me wear a panda bear costume (someone must have a weird fetish that they are willing to pay big bucks for) tonight and how the fridge has nothing but cold air in it and how the Reaping is growing nearer and nearer but I force them all out of my head in a rush to get rid of it all. Instead, I start to make a list in my head of what I should buy when I get to the store. But the idea of food makes my mind wander again and suddenly I find that I am thinking of luxury foods, like the ones you see on TV occassionally. Cake, candy, lobster, oranges, caviar - I feel my stomach rumble and suddenly realize how hungry I am. (And I don't mean for girls.) I pull a cigarette out of my jacket pocket and flick my lighter, taking a long drag before breathing in fresh air again. I told myself I was going to quit, but that was before my long lost sister got reaped.

My nostrils burn from the cold by the time I make it to the store. I step inside, thankful that it is heated. I put the cigarette to my lips again, shivering with relief as the heat begins to sink in. Then my eyes meet the storeowners, who glares daggers at me from behind the counter. I roll my eyes and step back outside and grind my cigarette into the ground before stepping back in shrugging and raising my eyebrows at the store owner who only continues to glare at me. (Ever since I tried to steal an apple from him when I was 6 he has hated me.) I bring the collar of my jacket down before continuing into the store aisles. My eyes drift across the candy and I wonder how much it would cost for just one lollipop. But I make sure I walk right by. I can't afford those things, not when sometimes I can't even afford a loaf of bread. I walk down the aisles and grab the necessities - beans, corn, bread, soup - and then, deciding I can purge just a little bit, I make sure to grab some popsicles. (Yes, it's winter, but popsicles are always good. ALWAYS.) I carry my things to the counter were the boss man stares at me until I take off my jacket and hand it to him. He looks through the pockets and when he finds nothing, he throws it back at me and I slip it back on. "I was 6 years old, okay? Lots and lots of years ago, sir." He grunts at me before tossing everything into a bag, squashing the bread at the bottom under the soup cans. "Once a thief, always a thief."

I pick up the bag as he makes change for me and I shove the change in my pocket as I head back out the door. I pull my collar up again when the cold air meets my ears. It stings and I realize that eventually I need to get myself a hat if I want to survive outside. I turn down the street, back the way I came, when suddenly the bag gives way and all the contents spill into the street. "Shit!" From inside I can hear the boss man laughing. I give him the finger through the window before stooping to gather the items. Nearly all the cans are dented, except for one can of soup which has exploded everywhere, and the bread is completely squashed. And then all the thoughts rush back into my head - my sister, my mom, the reaping, the panda costume, the empty refrigerator - all of it.

And I realize that somedays, just suck.