The [Wreck] Inside {Open}

So when you sleep so peacefully
And all your sins are buried deep
While you're dreaming, I'm outside
Digging up the ones I missed

Memories swirled about her like a breeze, catching in her hair, on her skin. She shivered, pulled her jacket closer to her body. Today was not a day for remembering. Normally, she'd be headed to the library about now, stopping off to read a bit or study before heading home. She didn't want to go there, knowing how easy it would be to drift to the row of books commemorating the Hunger Games, how simple slipping the one marked 57 off the shelf would be...

No, today was much better suited for going straight home. The park might have been nice, if not for the wind. She doubted there would be anyone there, so it would be nice and peaceful, but far too cold to pull out a book and sit for a while. Cramming her hands in her pockets, Memory heard the soft jingle of coins. She pulled her hand out. There were a few dollars' worth of coins in the palm of her hand, change accumulated over the last few weeks. Not enough to but a new book, but perhaps enough to stop in at a coffee shop and delay going home.

It wasn't that home was such a terrible place to be. Her step-father was kind, as he'd always been, her mother perhaps a bit distracted, and there was Caden, after all - But she'd always felt out of place there, even more so recently. She'd thought of leaving, but where would she go? District Six, like she'd always dreamed, to start college? But would they even take her, a girl with no proof she'd been to school at all, much less in that district? No, no, she couldn't leave. Starting over would be too hard, would mean losing so much that she'd built up over the years. Better to stay, at least until she turned eighteen. Then she could try to apply to the college in District Six and see if they'd take her even though she hadn't been born there. It wasn't fair, really, that only one district had a college.

Memory pulled open the door of a coffee shop. She came here sometimes when she needed to think and the weather was bad. It was a nice place, small, quiet. There were never many people around, and she liked it that way. Today, she didn't have much thinking to do, so she ordered a hot chocolate, and when it came she sat down at a table. Her mother wouldn't worry if she didn't come straight home from school - in fact, she would have caused more worry if she did, since it was rare for her not to visit the library or a book store before coming home. Since she had the time and nothing really better to do, she pulled out some of that day's homework and started working on it.

It was hard to concentrate. Math wasn't her best subject, though she studied it harder than anything else. Thoughts kept creeping up her neck and dropping down onto the page, demanding her undivided attention. With a frustrated sigh, she set down her pencil and started staring out the window. Maybe, just maybe, something would happen to distract her from her own thoughts.