leap of faith [NOFO] // blitz

∂αмєη
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leap of faith [NOFO] // blitz Jan 6, 2013 21:25:05 GMT -5

Post by ∂αмєη on Jan 6, 2013 21:25:05 GMT -5

With a rather large bouquet of flowers in one hand and the jingle of two keys in my pocket, I set out into the snow filled streets. It was one of those days in which the air was rather warm despite the winter's wind and blanket of white powder that existed on the ground. A scarf was wrapped around my neck and my jacket hung open at the front since I never had enough time to do it up. Which makes next to no sense really, seeing as how I'm kind of acting with no time limit or restriction set. Today was the day that I was to bring Edana somewhere nice and to ask her to live with me in the comfortable house that I called my home. After all, couples did that when they grew close enough. If my hopes had been realized, Edana and I were ready for this step. I was. It all depended on the beautiful girl that would soon be receiving a shiny silver key and a nice bouquet of flowers.

With each step I took towards her home, it was as if I was taking one step towards the worst or the best decision that I would ever make in my life. After all, it was possible that in a few months or a few years from now, I could be standing beside her in our home, signing the certificate to say that we were officially married. It was a possibility, one that would either be eliminated or supported by this decision. With every step, I got closer to a future with this girl. And it was possible that I got closer to not having a future too. In all of my life, I never really succeeded with anything I set my mind to. Nothing existed in this world because of me. If this worked out well, there would be something in my life I could be proud of.

And so I knocked on the door of the Lightwood residence, ready to begin the day that Edana and I were to spend together.

all I need's a whisper in a world that only shouts

Nofo
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leap of faith [NOFO] // blitz Feb 11, 2013 23:45:57 GMT -5

Post by Nofo on Feb 11, 2013 23:45:57 GMT -5

Pulling her hair into a tight bun she walked out of bathroom and into her bedroom where Siobhan and Cillian sat together at the foot of the bed. Five already? It didn't seem like nearly six years since York died, surreal that it had taken that long for her to gain the courage to move on. The nightmares were still there but it wasn't fair to herself or Clayton to keep herself hidden away from her feelings. He was a great guy, she was twenty-two and living in her mothers house with millions of adopted siblings, Keela and her twins. Keela hadn't said a word in months to anyone. Of course, she hoped every day there would be a future there with Clayton but she couldn't fault him for wanting to stay away from a mom with too many holes in her heart to patch.

The knocking on the front door pulled her back into reality. With a soft smle and a kiss on each of their tiny heads, she was gone. It hurt to look at Cillian for too long, the resemblance was haunting but it still hurt to leave either of them. They followed her into the living room where plenty of their free baby-sitters crowded around and they took a quick turn when she reached for the door.

"Clayton," She smiled and stood on her toes to give him a peck on the lips and a lingering hug. "It's so good to see you."

She broke apart from him and gave him a quick look. Her eyes beamed up at him for a second before dimming for only a second of sudden realization. How long had it been since she had smiled at a boy her age? Oh right, six years. Maybe she'd be fine after all.

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And you think you see me.

∂αмєη
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leap of faith [NOFO] // blitz Feb 16, 2013 20:36:42 GMT -5

Post by ∂αмєη on Feb 16, 2013 20:36:42 GMT -5

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Within only a few moments after knocking, her door opened. And standing there was the one girl that I had ever had feelings for. I mean, yeah, there have been plenty of girls in my life that I have had little crushes on. Girls that I'd give little heart shaped candies to in order to win her affections so I could brag about having her like me. That was back in elementary school though. Throughout the higher grades of school, I was just barely popular with girls. I mean, it didn't really help that I had been twice the height of three quarters of the girls in my classes but I had hoped that at least some would be interested. And so, Edana was one of the only ones that I had been able to actually open up to. The only one I had been able to care for. To have feelings for. And dare I say it, to love?

I know it's bad and all that we had been dating for a fairly long time and yet I was too afraid to say the L-word. Even after all of the passionate kisses and the romantic embraces and of course when we - ahem you know? - I had never said that word. Just that I cared about her and had feelings for her and that she meant everything to me. Maybe it was wrong of me that I had waited so long. Or maybe I was just waiting for the right moment to say it. I mean, I was pretty sure that I was falling for her. Whether or not I had for sure fallen was a whole different story. I always felt like loving somebody was important. Because my dad was never around and my mum was always weird with showing how she cared, I never really learned what love was. And so I was taking it slow.

But it was times like this where I found it hard to not tell her. When her soft lips pressed to mine. When her body pressed against mine as my arms wrapped around her. When her beautiful eyes meet with mine. It was always so hard to tell her exactly how I felt and exactly how much she meant to me because I never knew how. That's cause it's love, you dumb ass. Just say it. But how could I be one hundred percent sure? I still looked down at her with the biggest smile I had had in a long while. Nothing really caused me to smile the way she did. There was my grin that friends could cause, my smile for excitement and then my Edana smile. Call me corny but she made me feel different than anybody else ever had.

And I wasn't quite sure if she felt the same way. After all, she was the mother of children whose father was now deceased. How over it was she? Was she even capable of feeling something for a guy who came to her at a time where she could only think about another guy? Would she be able to love? Who really knows if I was over thinking or if I was hitting the nail right on the head. I guess I'd only know if it was verbally said. After all, how the hell was I supposed to be able to read somebody's emotions if I was incapable of expressing them myself. "Hey sweetheart." My left hand wrapped around hers as I offered the flowers. The key would wait until the right moment, after all. We still had plenty of time with each other. "I've missed you."

To be honest, I had no clue what we'd do during our time together. And normally, I'd like to take charge and bring her places to show her that I had a good idea of what she'd like. But today was all about decisions she'd have to make. "I picked where we would go last time. It's your choice now."