{Fading} as I follow you; [Dars]

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{Fading} as I follow you; [Dars] Jan 3, 2013 15:23:54 GMT -5

Post by Python on Jan 3, 2013 15:23:54 GMT -5

- - - - - -

A touch of winter, a sprinkle of snow, and a sky enveloped in somber clouds reminded the couples of district three that the harsh season was still in full force, driving children back into the warmth of their homes after they tossed snowballs at each other and sipped hot chocolate in cafes. It was a bitter season to spend exposed in the outdoors to mother nature’s cruelty, but this weather, however, didn’t stop Jamarion Goravich from treading through the white blankets to visit his girlfriend in the comforts of her small home, and it certainly didn’t stop him from stealing her away from the house to take her on yet another date where he showered her with money and food an gifts she probably didn’t need

(I’m rich now, I can do whatever I want). Over twelve months had passed since they had first encountered one another, since they’d first kissed under her roof, and since they’d suddenly turned into the couple nobody expected to last, but even Jamarion - stubborn bully and household asshole - couldn’t deny that he had never felt more happier in his lifetime. Yes, there were some family issues and nasty conflicts that needed to be addressed and resolved (or rather ignored by someone like Jamar) and yes, he knew he shouldn’t feel thankful that Klaus had been forced to kill his own comrades to inherit the riches that had dragged them into fame, but when glancing past the rusty surface Jamarion could see the shining silver and glorious gold that was his own life. Did he care about all of the flaws of the Goravich family? Yes, partially, but while he was big brother Goravich with a few new responsibilities he was also a careless and selfish ass, and at this moment all he really wanted to think about was this time spent with Sephera Greene.

The two sat perched upon her front porch, bodies huddled together and wrapped in layers of sweaters and coats to shield them from winter’s icy breath. He crushed the styrofoam cup previously filled with steaming hot chocolate in his hands, eyes focused on the frosted floor of the earth rather than the girl beside him. Jamarion had never been known to be much of a deep thinker, but at this moment he was distracted by his own contemplation - specifically, an idea that had been consistently nagging at his brain like a bumblebee buzzing around his ears every second of the day. It was an idea both wonderful and conflicting, and although Jamarion had a reputation of fearlessness to upkeep he knew he was extremely worried of what Sephera’s reaction would be if he touched this subject. She could push him away, ignore him, or worse - she could dump him, and he was positive he didn’t want to lose her or this relationship they’ve shared. Still, with the idea pinching the insides of his skull he could hardly bear to stifle it and keep his mouth shut. So, with the temptation lurking near the tip of his tongue, he parted his lips and shattered their peaceful silence with a question. ”Seph?” He waited for the pale eyes to meet his own before he continued. ”Can I, er, ask you something?”

Suddenly, a feeling of overwhelming dread and hesitation smothered him into silence. It was too late to swallow his words now - they had already been tossed out into the open to be analyzed and criticized by his curious girlfriend. And how would she react when he continued? Would she be mortified, surprised, delighted? Would she say yes? Would she reject him? He didn’t want to think of the worst case scenario, because he knew he couldn’t afford to lose an entire years worth of affection and bonding. All of those mornings spent thinking about what they would do next, how he could impress her and keep her happy while trying to improve his rowdy and rash behavior. All of those afternoons spent awkwardly trying to adjust to physical contact when Jamarion was so used to keeping to himself and shoving or striking those that dared challenge him or snap at him. All of those evenings spent wrapped in each other’s arms after they had finally gathered the courage to breathe the steam in a room of passion. Did he really want to lose everything because of one, stupid question that didn’t even matter? Well, actually, it did matter. It mattered to him, and perhaps that is why he chose not to avoid her gaze for so long, and eventually swallowed the lump in his throat to clean his windpipe and just blurt the words out like he always did.

”Will you move in with me?”

Congratulations, Jamarion. You've just dug yourself into a fucking hole.

And he may not be able to climb out of it again.

[/justify][/blockquote]

Last Edit: Feb 15, 2013 17:59:23 GMT -5 by Python

umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars]
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{Fading} as I follow you; [Dars] Jan 4, 2013 19:23:32 GMT -5

Post by umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars] on Jan 4, 2013 19:23:32 GMT -5

lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know, oh
I can't let you go, can't let you go, oh
I just want it to be perfect
to believe it's all been worth the fight

Sephera had sat in her windowsill every evening, both waiting for the world she knew to become the icy wonderland it was now, and for the boy she saw in her dreams every night. The soft crunch of the delicate flakes breaking beneath her feet were constant and harmonious with the footsteps that fell along side her. Standing shoulder to shoulder- more like shoulder to elbow- with Jamarion, and feeling the whispers of his skin touching her kept her warm, even in the frozen world around her. She gripped a cup half filled with slick, sweet hot chocolate in one hand, and in the other, Jamar's hand. She loved this- loved him. It was crazy to think they'd been together so long, outlasted everyone's expectations. She had taken the time to reflect on how far the two of them had changed as a couple since then at least a dozen times. He was improving with his temper, she was beginning to trust people again, and even allowed herself to love her dad again. There was thing that baffled her more than all of that though. She knew now that she and Jamarion Goravich were meant to be together.

She enjoyed the tempo things were going. She felt comfortable and safe within the confines of her relationship. She laid her head on his shoulder, a simple gesture that she once would've hesitated to do, and exhaled. She watched the very thing keeping her alive, warmth, leave her fragile shell in a cloud of steam, but she found herself wondering if it was really her warmth that kept her moving in the cold, or the boy standing next to her. Everything in her life was finally okay, for the first time in a very long time. She no longer went to school and ducked her head as any possible friends passed her by. She no longer stayed at home and refused to let her father get close to her. Sephera was finally living. She felt Jamarion's broad shoulders tense, and she guessed he was getting ready to tell her something. She knew the boy loved her, or thought she did at least, but she understood that, as a person, Jamarion's game wasn't particularly in romance. Although to her, there had never been a more romantic person to ever walk the streets of District Three.

"Seph?"

The nickname the girl only ever allowed her mother to call her rang serene in her ears. Until Jamarion, hearing the shortened form of her name brought only heart ache and despair. She still missed her mother, and always would, but she finally had moved on. "Can I, er, ask you something?" Turning her face toward the grey sky above them with a look of puzzlement on her face, she awaited his next comment. Then, it was as if a softball had been pitched into her gut, and she wished she'd never even wondered what could be on his mind. She was expecting something along the lines of "Do you love me?" A question that, even though they both knew the answer, Seph had asked a handful of times just to be sure.

A knot of emotion buried itself into her throat, and slid down into the pit of her stomach. She slammed to a stop, staring at him. She opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. What could she say? Did she tell him no? Or yes? Or did she even say anything at all. Completely bewildered, she scanned her brain again, desperate to find something, anything to say. "What?" She felt her brow pinch together, and she turned herself to face him. Was it a joke? Sadly, no. Either it wasn't, or he was doing a very abnormal job of acting, which wasn't one of his strong suits, either. Her breath caught as realization began to settle into her now throbbing brain. Jamarion wanted her to move in. Jamarion wanted her to move in, and she didn't know what in the hell she was supposed to do.

^{I AM A GARDEN OF BLACK AND RED AGONIES}

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{Fading} as I follow you; [Dars] Jan 6, 2013 20:58:16 GMT -5

Post by Python on Jan 6, 2013 20:58:16 GMT -5

- - - - - -

Her hesitation radiated like an invisible force field, actively pushing him away from her as the panic began to stir in his chest. He wasn’t sure what he had originally expected - a squeal of delight, a gasp of terror? Something that would suggest an obvious answer, like a quick yes or no. But this, this lack of reaction - the prolonged absence of words, it was much worse than an actual rejection. The two knew enough of each other to make certain predictions, such knowing Jamarion’s tendency to lash out at anyone who challenged his intellect (or lack thereof) and his strength, but he was no psychic. At this moment he could not guess what was buzzing in that pretty head of hers, however the lingering silence served only as a warning for him to flee before things turned topsy-turvy. His muscles grew tense as he prepared to stand up and apologize for the unexpected shock he had blurted so suddenly, when her voice finally paralyzed him. ”What?” She sounded bewildered, as if unable to believe the question he had asked. Her forehead was wrinkled, eyebrows knitted together as she merely stared at him without uttering another word. Jamarion feared nobody, but her stare tearing into him was almost too much to bear. He turned away before he could meet her eyes again.

”Nothing,” He lied, hoping that she had heard him incorrectly when he knew she hadn’t. He wanted to pretend he had never made this grave mistake, that he had never woken himself in the middle of the evening to contemplate about it and that he had never failed to consider the consequences of actually mentioning it to her in person. Trouble was, he was too impulsive to resist tossing the idea into the air, and now he felt as if he were going to be punished for it. ”It’s nothing, no big deal.” He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck and rose to his feet, avoiding her gaze as he approached the sidewalk. He wasn’t sure if this was the time to leave or the time to apologize and stay by her side, but his body had already decided for him. For a boy so brave you sure are a damn coward, Jamar. No, he was not cowardly. This wasn’t cowardly - it was smart, at least it was to him. It was smart to depart before he caused further damage to their well-molded relationship. Just how wide were the tears he had created? How long would it take him to mend what he had just shredded with those six simple words?

”Just pretend I never asked,” he said, a hint of a sigh escaping chapped lips as he tossed his malformed cup into the nearest trash bin. It wasn’t shame he was feeling, nor guilt or fear or anxiety. Just an overwhelming wave of exhaustion and embarrassment for stretching his mouth too wide and revealing a secret desire that would’ve better been kept undiscovered. His brothers had warned him in the past that he was too impulsive, too absorbed in his own cloud of anger and hatred to harness these impulses and control what was meant to remain in strict boundaries. He regretted to admit it, but they had been right, and now he was going to suffer for it if Sephera decided never to forgive him. That won’t happen, though. As much as he was an idiot and as much as his brother’s statements held truth, he was well aware of the extent of Sephera’s feelings for him, and she would forgive him. He had made plenty of other stupid mistaking during the course of their blossoming relationship, and surely she was able to put certain flaws behind her. Still, he may have pushed her away by acting so rashly, and he wasn’t sure he was prepared for another delay in their happiness. Jamarion was never known to be a patient human being, after all.

[/blockquote][/justify]

Last Edit: Feb 15, 2013 17:59:37 GMT -5 by Python

umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars]
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{Fading} as I follow you; [Dars] Jan 18, 2013 19:26:54 GMT -5

Post by umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars] on Jan 18, 2013 19:26:54 GMT -5

lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know, oh
I can't let you go, can't let you go, oh
I just want it to be perfect
to believe it's all been worth the fight

Her breath caught and the frozen air stabbed deeper and deeper into her lungs as it desperately tried to burrow it's way back out into the world. Her eyes grew to the size of pumpkins, and still glared at Jamarion with disbelief for several moments. A shiver ran down her back so slowly, it was as if a snake were inching down every molecule of her frigid body on slither at a time. It was almost as painful as a blade stabbing into her gut. She wasn't sure what she felt, and she wasn't sure how to find out either. Her heart thumped against her chest in a nervous heave, and she took in another lungful of air. It was okay. Everything was going to be okay. This was Jamar she was talking to. The one person she could tell anything to.

"Jamar-"

What? Jamar what? How was she going to tell him something if she wasn't even sure what she was going to say? "Did you mean move in? Like, move in, move in?" She gasped. "What..what about Dad? What about Buckle? Or your brothers and sisters? Have you talked to them about this?" She hadn't meant to sound so mean, but the icy air had her on edge, and her harsh tone was a plead of mercy. Her way of heating to her very core so that she wouldn't shiver. Although now, she wasn't sure of what was making her shiver. The frost sinking into her skin or the sheer terror in her heart. "Just pretend I never asked," He begged. Sephera turned to face him completely, the look of audacity smeared onto her face like make up. "No! Talk to me!" She couldn't believe he was going to go and ask some off-the-wall question and then act as if it never happened. She stiffened her back to make her seem as tall as her small frame would let her. "You don't get to just take this back as if it never happened!" and he didn't. It wasn't fair.

Sephera realized that she'd left her cup sitting on the arm of the bench as her hands began to cool down to the same temperature the rest of her body was- and she shivered. It seemed the little cup of warmth had helped her more than she thought. Sh folded her arms together, and stomped her foot, both trying to keep from freezing to death and waiting for an answer. She was the first to admit she was being a little over the top, but didn't she have the right to be? Or was it? She wondered if she had a right to make him talk if she hadn't even told him news that would make this seem like nothing. Like a roach standing next to a bear.Still, it wasn't every day that you were asked to change your entire life based on one little word. Or maybe it was for the average human, but Sephera wasn't one of them. She was one of the few that stayed off to the side, that didn't really seem to fit in anywhere in school, and she'd never been more glad to leave a place than the day she graduated.

Maybe if she'd met Jamarion before things would've been different. Better. She really did love this boy, and she didn't understand what exactly her problem with his question was. Shouldn't she have been glad that he was willing to do something as big as live with her? Or was she right in being cautious? She had no reason not to trust him, actually she trusted him with more than anybody. It was one of the things she reminded herself of whenever she wondered why she felt so strongly for him. She had a list, written down on a piece of paper and stuffed into her pillow.

10. The way he still blushed whenever Sephera kissed him in public.
9. The way he held her when she cried.
8. How his shirts always had the same scent.
7. How he never cared about appearance, but still always looked so perfect.
6. The way he looked at her at the end of every day.
5. How he always tried unsuccessfully to keep his temper in check.
4. The way he can't understand a joke until you spell it out for him.
3. He never tried to pressure her into anything.
2. She could trust him with anything.
1. That he really, truly loved her.

Last Edit: Jan 18, 2013 19:37:18 GMT -5 by umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars]

^{I AM A GARDEN OF BLACK AND RED AGONIES}

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{Fading} as I follow you; [Dars] Feb 15, 2013 20:05:01 GMT -5

Post by Python on Feb 15, 2013 20:05:01 GMT -5

- - - - - -

Her face was scrunched up, eyes narrowed into glaring slits that pierced through icicles. He always admired her when she was angry; it was attractive, in an odd way, watching someone so seemingly fragile burst into angry flames and strike back. It proved she was no coward despite how easily outmatched she was by his strength. It drove him in like an invisible, magnetic force, but now was not the time to be dwelling on such things - not when there was a severe issue at hand. ”Did you mean like move in? Like, move in, move in?” she exclaimed, appearing puzzled by the prospect. He resisted the urge to snap at her and nipped the inside of his cheek until it stung. What the fuck else could he have possibly meant? ”What about dad? What about Buckle? Or your brothers and sisters? Have you talked to them about this.” Damn it, he sure hadn’t done that. But what the hell did it matter, anyway? The answer was obviously no, so he might as well try to abandon the subject while he still could, though whether or not Sephera would follow suit was completely up to her. Knowing her, though, he could expect a storm to follow in his wake the moment he tried to turn and walk away.

”No! Talk to me!”

So close. He clenched his jaw in annoyance and stared at her. You don’t get to just take this back as if it never happened!” She was crossing her arms, stomping her feet in the snow like a child with a tantrum; a little candle flame trying to snatch the curtains and burn everything to the ground when her opponent was entirely indestructible. ”Why not? You obviously don’t want to move in with me,” He didn’t understand why, either. She adored his family and his family (most of them) adored her. What was the issue, then? Her father? Her damn cat? ”I shouldn’t have asked, but now that you just flat out rejected me I want to know why.” He tried to keep his composure in check and his volume low. It was difficult, considering how ashamed and pissed off he felt now that she had verbally attacked him, but for the time he managed to dull everything down to a steaming simmer other than the firm tension in his shoulders that seemed to broaden his physique. ”You can just bring Buckle with you if that’s what you’re worried about.” He didn’t mention the part about failing to request permission from his siblings. He figured Klaus wouldn’t mind the company of a new resident, and if the others didn’t approve of it they would just have to get over it, because Jamarion couldn’t give less of a shit about their opinions.

”As for your dad, he’s a grown man. He doesn’t need you to take care of him, he can live on his own.” He sounded dangerously insensitive, a mistake one would think he would’ve learned to avoid by now. Family was a sensitive subject in Sephera’s life, he knew this. Her mother had perished tragically by the hands of a criminal when she was only eight years old, and for the longest time she had blamed herself for the misfortunate incident when in reality she possessed no control over it. It had left a scar upon their little family, leaving nothing but a ghostly presence to linger between the walls of their household. It was just Sephera and her father remaining, knitted together by tiny threads, and he should’ve known better than to toss such harsh words in her direction without a second thought. But it was true, wasn’t it? No matter how close they were, they didn’t need each other to survive. Sephera was moving forward in life, leaping ahead and blossoming into a greater woman. She couldn’t stay with him forever. One day it would be time to depart and go her separate way. Maybe now, maybe later, but surely it would happen sometime, right? So why not now?[/justify][/blockquote]

Last Edit: Feb 15, 2013 20:09:17 GMT -5 by Python

umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars]
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{Fading} as I follow you; [Dars] Feb 17, 2013 15:53:07 GMT -5

Post by umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars] on Feb 17, 2013 15:53:07 GMT -5

lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know, oh
I can't let you go, can't let you go, oh
I just want it to be perfect
to believe it's all been worth the fight

He was holding his anger at bay, it was obvious when Sephera looked into his eyes and saw the fire blazing to life in them. Burning with life even in the cold. He was trying to actually talk things out with her, something he wouldn't have even attempted until a few months ago. She had to admit she was proud of her boyfriend, no matter how unfair he was being to her. Her gut clenched in her stomach, and she instantly knew she was the one being unreasonable. She blushed, because he was right. About all of it. Her Dad, and even her cat. But that wasn't about them. It was about those two. Jamarion and Sephera. She exhaled, and dropped her hand to her side.

"Jamar,"

The word brought a small tear to her eye, but she blinked it away.She refused to be weak then. She at least owed that to him. "It isn't about them. It's about us. I just.. I don't know what to say. I love you, and you were right about Dad, but.." She looked around as he breath hung in her throat. "Do you really think we are ready for this?" It was a question that had been resting in her head as soon as the question slipped out of his mouth. Did he? And if so, why? Why did he think that they were ready to take such a big step? Her hand softly probed her abdomen. She didn't realize it until then, but she was going to have to move in with him eventually. No way in hell was she going to raise a child in two different houses. Her baby needed to be with both of it's parents at all times.

"Because I think we might be." Liar. She didn't think they were ready, she hoped they were. If they weren't ready for something like living together, how were they going to fare raising a child together? Just thinking of it made her shudder. She knew her words hadn't sounded convincing, but that wasn't what mattered. All that mattered was that Jamarion was willing to try, and so was she. She shrugged her shoulders. She might as well tell him, now.

She searched her mind, begging it to give her the words to say. "Now it's my turn to ask questions." She said, and motioned for him to sit on the bench she had sat her drink on. Closing her eyes, Sephera leaned against him so that her mouth was next to his ear. He didn't shy, or hesitate, because he was used to their secrets. He must have known by now that it was something important, something big, because Sephera never wasted time with whispering unless it was. "What if...I were pregnant?" She said, and pushed herself back to avoid his reaction. Was he going to be happy? Or was he going to be like all of those boys she'd heard about that just left her all alone? Her stomach clenched, and it was as if the life growing inside her told her it was going to be okay. That all they needed were each other.