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mcmarti99

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to the ::edge:: of all we've ever known Dec 22, 2012 19:18:42 GMT -5

Post by mcmarti99 on Dec 22, 2012 19:18:42 GMT -5

Two shadows standing by the bedroom door
No, I could not want you more
Than I did right then
As our heads leaned in

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The bright light of afternoon descended upon the earth. The shadow of the blinds blocked out some of the light, but some of it seeped through, creating little patterns on the floor. Creaking in the mattress did awake me this morning, and the light from the single window in my bedroom forced my heavy eye-lids open. I did not crawl into bed with Trey last night. It was the first night since I’d moved in with him where I hadn’t waited till the late hours of the night, until I heard dramatic snoring from Trey’s parents in the room next to me, to tip-toe into his bedroom. It was also the first day that we did not get up at the crack of dawn to hide the fact that we’d been sleeping side by side. It was the first morning in almost a month now that Trey’s gentle touch hadn’t made me wish for the cold floor to hit my feet, the sun still asleep. Even after our exhausting day at the pond over a week ago now, I waited for hours before slipping into his bed next to him. His father had started to talk sternly towards us the minute we walked in from our day at the pond, but Trey’s mother, Jody, had merely smiled and looked at his father with a look that meant it was okay. Still though, they waited much longer than usual to fall asleep. And I’d waited out every minute of it, my eyes staring at the dark ceiling, to slide in next to Trey.

Trey had waited too. To see if I was coming to his bedside that night, and his soft words, like a beautiful melody whispered in my ear, had rocked me to sleep. Last night though, I’d fallen asleep completely to my own devices. I hadn’t had to depend on those soft, warm arms to rock me to sleep. And I was so tired. My eyes gave up so easily last night that it scared me, as we’d done almost nothing during the day. Just moped around Trey’s house like we usually did. And his gentle touch hadn’t awoken me today either, and now the bright light of afternoon swept in from the cracks in my blinds. I didn’t feel the need to get out of bed, and I felt no need for the cold floor to hit my feet before the warm embrace of my true love made my body tingle. All I wished to do was lay in bed, and perhaps Trey was fine with that. He hadn’t awoken me yet. I felt partially guilty for not sticking to our usual routine. There were plenty of opportunities to slip into bed with him last night, as my sleep wasn’t a comfortable one. I’d gotten up many times in the night to relieve myself, and more than once, I’d fallen asleep on the commode. But I woke up, and sauntered back to my bedroom, the thought of getting in Trey’s bed never even crossing my mind. Now I wished it had. Because this time that my feet hit the floor, there was no warm embrace to act as an accompaniment. There was no gentle nudge of the shoulder or light kiss on the lips. Even the gentle light seemed harsh to my usual routine.

Again, I had to make a trip to the bathroom. As I washed my hands, I splashed some cool water on my face, hoping it would wake me a little. It was successful at its intended job, and I walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. Trey was sitting at the table, his back to me, his fingers drumming impatiently on the tabletop. Jody was in the kitchen, preparing a dish that was unfamiliar to me. She smiled as I crossed the room, still in my pajamas. I was in Trey’s old sweatshirt, as I’d borrowed it yesterday and fallen asleep in it. My pants were the same ones I’d worn on our day at the pond, freshly washed thanks to Jody. She’d insisted on doing every single task for me for the past week, and when I asked her she simply answered by saying she’d never had a daughter. My feet were bare, and my hair was tangled, but I was eager to get to Trey, and after going to the bathroom, I was too anxious to see him to return to my bedroom and fetch some socks. He still didn’t know I’d entered the room, and continued drumming his fingers against the tabletop. I smiled at his back lovingly. He always put me out of irritable moods. His hair was still messy, and I guessed he hadn’t bothered to brush it this morning. His usual plain white tee shirt covered his back, and his usual blue jeans covered his legs. I remember when I’d seen him without either of those things and I flushed red at the thought of that day. The day that started with the first sunrise I’d ever seen. We hadn’t gone back to the pond since that day, as the gazes of his parents had been even more hawk-like since then.

I crossed the room, the drumming of Trey’s fingers getting more impatient. He kept glancing at the clock on the wall opposite to him. I approached quietly, and leaned over his shoulder to twine my fingers with his. His brown eyes met mine, and in an instant, he was standing over me. The sight of his face awakened me more than anything and I brushed a loose strand of his hair from his face. I smiled up at him, my eyes drifting to his lips. Without a moment’s hesitation, I pulled on his neck until his lips met mine. And thus, the daily warmth spread through me. His body moved in closer to mine, and his arms pulled on my back, closing every gap between our bodies. I usually loved it when he did this, when there was no space separating us, but perhaps he was pulling more than he usually did, because a rippling pain shot up my chest. I tried to hold his lips against mine as I took a step back, but he moved with me. The pain increased at his closeness. I slid my hand up his stomach to his chest and gently pushed it back, trying to hold out the kiss, but he stopped, looking at me with confusion and concern. I stared straight at his chest in front of me, not wanting to meet his gaze.

He seemed to be waiting for me to say something. My toes stretched underneath me and I cast a quick glance at Jody before putting my lips to Trey’s ear.

”I’m sorry I didn’t come in last night. I was so tired, I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. And I’m sorry to keep you waiting... “[/b] I leaned back, letting my toes return to the floor and looked at Trey’s eyes. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I asked, ”So how did you sleep last night?”[/b] I asked this a little more loudly than a whisper, but just so that Jody wouldn’t get suspicious.

Hold my breath as we're moving in
Taste your lips and feel your skin
When the time comes
Baby don't run
Just Kiss me
Slowly.

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Last Edit: Dec 29, 2012 1:41:19 GMT -5 by mcmarti99

Raseri
Career Tribute

552 POSTS
last seen Dec 5, 2023 15:35:48 GMT -5

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to the ::edge:: of all we've ever known Dec 23, 2012 17:11:05 GMT -5

Post by Raseri on Dec 23, 2012 17:11:05 GMT -5

she shows me everything she used to know
picture frames and country roads
when the days were long
and the world was small

For the past month or so, the eyes of my parents had loomed over me and Rose, ever watchful. Their gaze was like a heavy fog always hanging over us, almost impossible to escape, although we'd still managed to find time alone together. Each night since we'd met, Rose had slipped under my covers to curl up in the warmth of my arms, and I'd whisper away her nightmares as she drifted off into oblivion. As far as I knew, Mom and Dad hadn't found out--Rose and I woke up early every morning to make sure of that. If they had, they hadn't said anything. But ever since the last day we'd gone into the woods--the day I'd shown Rose the sunrise--their hawk-like eyes had become even more unrelenting. The presence of their gaze was always there--every kiss, every smile, every light touch of our hands, these exchanges were all monitored. The only privacy we'd had was at night, when we fell asleep in each other's arms. Although my parents had been waiting even longer as of late to finally fall asleep, Rose always waited it out until their snoring filled the hallway, when it was safe to creep into my room. But tonight, even that small comfort was denied to me.

It was almost midnight, I knew, and my parents had fallen asleep. When I'd first climbed into bed an hour or so ago, I'd crawled under my covers and let my head sink into the softness of my pillow. But I couldn't fall asleep. Every night for the past couple of weeks, I hadn't been able to rest until I felt Rose's soft legs rub gently against mine, her fingers tangling in my hair. I'd grown too used to it. For a while, I lay on my back, staring patiently up at the dark ceiling like I usually did. Sometimes I went so long wthout blinking that my eyes stung, and I had to remind myself to close them every once in a while. Seconds came and went, minutes crept past, hours crawled by. I waited for what seemed like an eternity, but still there was no sign of her. Well, no sign except for the soft patter of her footsteps--a sound that I recognized better than my parents, since I intentionally listened for it--and the occasional flush of the toilet across the hall. That meant she had to be awake, so why didn't she come in? I threw the covers off suddenly, thrusting my legs over the side so I was sitting on the edge of my bed. For some reason, I didn't want to feel the warmth of my blankets anymore. It didn't seem to make sense, when Rose wasn't there.

My breathing deepened as I stared at the carpeted floor of my bedroom, watching the small strip of light cast by the streetlamps filter throw the window. But then I fixed by clouded brown eyes on my shoes instead. It didn't feel right, looking at light--even something as artificial as this--without Rose by my side. We were supposed to greet the light together, in the morning when she was awakened by the gentle nudge of my hand against her shoulder. Not now. Not like this. I placed my hands on my knees, watching my knuckles change color as I clenched and unclenched them around my kneecaps with each inward and outward breath. Had she forgotten? No, she couldn't have, not when I was still awake and thinking about her. She had to be thinking about me too, right? She was going in the bathroom a lot...Could she be sick? I hoped not. But even if she wasn't feeling well, was that a reason to stay away from me? Maybe... Maybe she was mad at me. I thought about this, but I did have the slightest idea of what she could be mad about. We'd gotten along as well as we always did these past few weeks. Maybe it was because of what had happened in the woods. I didn't remember if I'd made the first move, or if she had. If it was me, did she think I'd been too pushy? Had I unknowingly pressured her to do something that she wasn't comfortable with?

I hadn't realized it until now, but my hands had been grasping fistfuls of hair and pulling on it. Relinquishing the dark brown strands from my grip, I moved my sweating palms instead to my face, where I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands. To my surprise, they were wet--probably from ~~crying~~ going so long without blinking again. I wanted to go into Rose's room and see what was wrong, but if she was mad at me, now might not be the best time to work things out. I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes until I saw shapes dancing around behind my eyelids, trying to get rid of the headache that was slowly increasing. That was how I fell asleep--hunched over on the edge of my bed, my elbows on my thighs and my face in my hands. It was a dreamless, fitful sleep, and on and off throughout the night I would wake up lying perpendicularly on top of my covers before drifting off again.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~

I woke up for good before the sun did, around five in the morning, just like I'd done every day for over a month. Only this time was different--Rose wasn't here. Rolling over on my side, I ran my hand back and forth across the spot on the cool bedsheet where she used to be. Where she should still be. Hours went by, but I wasn't counting. In fact, I hardly even noticed. I couldn't find the oomph to get up out of my bed. I might have drifted in and out of sleep, but I can't remember. Conciousness and unconciousness blurred together, because--in this daze--I was in no state to differentiate between them. At some point, I got out of bed. It must have been the early afternoon or something, judging by the light that shone through the window. Forgetting to change out of my clothes--I'd slept in them last night, a white v-neck shirt and blue jeans--I trudged with heavy feet and a heavy heart into the kitchen.

My mom was cooking something I hadn't seen before--probably another one of her "experiments." "Good afternoon, Sleeping Beauty," she told me with a smile. I grunted in reply, pulled out a chair and plopped down on it. Soon, I found out that Mom hadn't been cooking the food, she'd been getting ready to serve it. She scooped some of it onto a plate--it actually looked like quiche, well, sort of--and slid it onto the table in front of me, giving me a fork and a kiss on the forehead. The smell of the food probably wouldn't have been bad any other day, but today the steam make my stomach churn the moment it entered my nostrils. When I woke up, my appetite would usually run rampant, but today just the thought of food made me want to gag. I picked at it with my fork anyways. At least then it might look to my mom like I was eating. I couldn't help but keep glancing at the clock, wondering when Rose would come out--that was, if she came out at all. My fingers absentmidedly tapped out an impatient rhythm against the table. I was sure my mom would try to say something to me, but for some reason, she didn't. She just went about her own business.

A sudden, cool touch of a hand entwining with mine sent a jolt of electricity though my body, so strong that I shot up of out my chair. The moment my eyes met Rose's glassy blues, all doubt rushed from my body. The confusion still lingered, but doubt had disappeared. It was amazing how she could do that to me--wash away such troubles with one look. In an instant, our lips were locked, and my hands were around her waist. As usual, I pulled her close to me, leaving no gap between us. It was hard to believe that we'd actually been closer than this, that day in the woods. I smiled slightly against her lips when she stumbled backward slightly, taking a step forward to make up for it. She'd been clumsy like that ever since the day we'd met. Her hand slid up to my chest, and I figured she was trying to feel my heartbeat or something--it always sped up when I kissed her. But the pressure she was putting on it confused me--she didn't need to press so hard. And then I realized; she wasn't feeling for a heartbeat. She was pushing me away.

She was pushing me away. The words seemed even stranger the second time I thought them, as if they were in a foreign language. Just five little words, with the power to burn the whole world to the ground. And although they were hard to fathom, they stung like hell. A pang hit in my chest so hard that a lump rose to my throat, and the shock sent my arms falling from Rose's waist to my sides. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as my eyes flitted quickly back and forth between hers, desperately searching for an explanation. But for what seemed like the first time, her gaze was reluctant to meet mine. Now the doubt--no, more than that, fear--had returned in a flash, but this time her eyes weren't there to take it away. Why? What was happening? What did I do? I waited, searching her face for answers, but she still didn't speak. I almost raised my hand to move a brown strand of hair out of her face, but I resisted. I was too afraid of more rejection, afraid she might knock it away.

Finally, Rose put her lips to my ear and spoke so quietly that I almost couldn't hear her. ”I’m sorry I didn’t come in last night. I was so tired, I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. And I’m sorry to keep you waiting..." I choked back a sigh of relief so my mother didn't hear. It was a weird excuse, but I supposed it made sense. It still didn't explain why she'd pushed out of our kiss, but at this point I was accepting any answers I could get. Her arms returned to their usual place around my neck as she asked "So how did you sleep last night?" a lot louder. My eyebrows still furrowed, I looked at her with a mixture of confusion and concern, not even realizing for a second that she'd asked me a question. I didn't sleep, Rose. I was up all night. "Fine," I lied, loud enough that my mom could hear. Then I in turn leaned down to her. "Can we go somewhere else?" I breathed silently, my lips at her ear. "My room? Outside? The woods, maybe?" I needed to talk to her now, before I went insane.

she stood by as it fell apart
seperate rooms and broken hearts
but I won't be the one
to let you go

text
speech
thoughts
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lyrics

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"i shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
i lift my lids and all is born again.
(i think i made you up inside my head.)"

mcmarti99

guest

to the ::edge:: of all we've ever known Dec 23, 2012 21:59:55 GMT -5

Post by mcmarti99 on Dec 23, 2012 21:59:55 GMT -5

Two shadows standing by the bedroom door
No, I could not want you more
Than I did right then
As our heads leaned in

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Trey's eyes clung to me with a desperate confusion. I met his gaze and tried to tell him through my eyes that it was okay, that he had nothing to worry about. I could tell that he was worried about me, but I felt that it didn't have much to do with my late awakening. It seemed that fear came into his expression when I'd pushed him away. But I didn't mean anything by it, my chest just felt more tender than usual.

"Fine," he answered. The volume of his voice was so that it was audible to Jody, but did she sense the lie behind it I did? Had I grown to know her son better than her? Guilt rose up in my stomach at the thought that he'd been waiting for me. I wondered how long he'd stayed up. The crust accumulating in the corners of his eyes made my expression dampen. He leaned his head to me, his whispers tickling the hair around my ear. "Can we go somewhere else? My room? Outside? The woods, maybe?" I smiled as his head bent back to look at me. "Of course,[/b] I whispered back.

My fingers laced themselves in Trey's. As I glanced at his mother, I moved my fingers though his, taking in the texture of each of his knuckles, memorizing each callous in his overworked hands. I thought of those hands on my waist, pulling me ever closer to him. Then I thought of the sudden pain in my chest as he tugged on me. Why did I choose today of all days to be wimpy to Trey's touch? I craved it so much, but the pain that shot up from my breast to my collarbone was completely unbearable. I'd been robbed of the warmth of his warm arms around me all night, and now I couldn't even enjoy them. I'd robbed myself of that luxury.[/i]

Moving my gaze back to Trey's eyes, the desperation in them had grown. It seemed he wanted to get out of this place immediately. So I decided not to delay it anymore. I locked my fingers in his and waited only a brief second as his mother turned to the sink. Tugging on Trey's hand, I pulled him out the door, letting the screen bang behind us. Freedom and the fresh air and the sensation of Trey's hands hit me all at once. Joy spread through me like the warmth of Trey's arms around me. Extending to the tips of my limbs, bringing redness to my cheeks. The warm air felt amazing coming from the claustrophobic air in the house. I ran from the prison, hoping Jody would let us be, and not try to follow us. Trey followed, but without as much of a joyous pace as I. I squeezed his hand, trying to cheer him up a bit, but he remained serious, his eyes staying on the pavement disappearing under our quick feet.

When we reached the fence, my pace gradually slowed, and as we approached it, Trey moved in front of me. He slid through the hole in the fence we'd come to every time we entered the woods since I'd met him. And he pulled me through after as he always did. After we slid through the fence though, he let me take the lead again, his eyes still refusing to meet mine. We silently ran through the dense forest, my pace slowing slightly, but still brisk. I tired out not far past the boundary. It was strange, as I usually could run much faster and much longer. Back when I had something to run from, that is. Since I'd escaped my father, and moved in with Trey, I'd gained considerable weight, my waist not as small and unhealthy as it used to be. Still though, I was a small build, and felt tiny next to Trey. He stopped beside me, and I bent over with exhaustion as he stood perfectly still, his breath still perfectly normal. Was it the lack of exercise that I'd had since I moved in with Trey? Or was it the weight I gained that had tired me out so much? I hadn't gained that much. Only to add a healthy image to my skin and bones.

After catching my breath, I pulled on Trey's arms until his body was against mine. Holding him close, I backed into a nearby tree so that his body was pinning me against the bark. I wanted to leaned further into him, but I was forced to lean back into the tree and cringe in the pain in my breast. He backed off me, a fearful expression on his face. I tried to pull him back to me, but he stood rigid, my strength not enough to move him. I crossed my arms across my chest, but dropped them at the uncomfort that caused. I moved forward, taking Trey's face in my hands. Again, my strength was not enough to move him as I tried to pull his lips into mine. I tried to move my lips up to his, but he took my hands from my face and held me back. "Trey. Why won't you kiss me?"[/b] I pouted. I moved into him, my arms moving in the gaps between his arms at his side and his waist. The want to pull him into me was unbearable. I so wanted his body to press into mine, but the remembrance of the pain in my chest made me stay like this, and look into his eyes with question.

Hold my breath as we're moving in
Taste your lips and feel your skin
When the time comes
Baby don't run
Just Kiss me
Slowly.

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text
speech
thoughts
others speech
lyrics

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Last Edit: Dec 29, 2012 1:40:49 GMT -5 by mcmarti99

Raseri
Career Tribute

552 POSTS
last seen Dec 5, 2023 15:35:48 GMT -5

mayor of bootyville

to the ::edge:: of all we've ever known Dec 24, 2012 18:57:24 GMT -5

Post by Raseri on Dec 24, 2012 18:57:24 GMT -5

she shows me everything she used to know
picture frames and country roads
when the days were long
and the world was small

"Of course," Rose told me, taking my hand. I was expecting her to lead me to my room, but instead, she tugged me through the door. The warm air greeted me happily as the screen door slammed shut behind us. On second thought, maybe it would be a better idea to talk outside, as opposed to my room. It was nice to be out of the stuffy house, and away from the oppressive gaze of my mother. The first breath of the warm, fresh air banished the dull ache in my head; and the touch of Rose's hand slightly lessened the churning in my stomach, although my worry hadn't yet vanished. Breaking into a run, she started towards the woods, almost dragging me behind her. For some reason, I was finding it hard to keep up with her--it was as if my feet were made of lead, and hers of springs. It must have been the lack of sleep. She squeezed my hand, but I was too caught up in my thoughts to really respond. My eyes were fixed on the ground as our feet thundered against it.

Soon, we reached the boundary of the woods, where a rusted chain-link fence stood sentry. As always, I approached the fence before Rose did, squeezing past the gap and pulling the metal aside so she could get through. This was automatic, something I did out of fear that she'd get cut by the rusty steel. I'd seen enough of her blood for a lifetime. Once we were both through, I let her lead again. We dodged branches and swatted at bugs at a brisk pace, making no sound save for the sharp snapping of the twigs beneath our feet. Before too long, Rose began to slow down, and her breathing became heavier. I didn't blame her--I didn't usually run that fast for that long, and I considered myself to be pretty athletic. Eventually, she stopped, leaning over and putting her hands on her knees to support herself. I looked at her with concern--sure, she'd been doing something tiring, but now it looked like her knees could buckle at any moment. I, on the other hand, was physically okay, and my breathing had returned to normal. This sudden change in her was surprising. Scary, even.

Rose stood up after she'd (mostly?) recovered, pulling me into her. Still unsure about what had happened earlier, I hardly made any effort to follow. Was she trying to make up for what had happened earlier? Rose held me close and backed herself into a tree. I was about to give in, about to try this again, but the moment her back hit the tree's rough bark, Rose cringed. My eyes widening, I backed away from her like a child being burned by a hot stove. I'd hurt her. It was exactly why I'd been reluctant to kiss her at first--I hadn't wanted to cause her any more pain than she'd already experienced, but look where we were now. Was that why she'd backed away from me earlier, too? My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as my gaze dropped to my hands, examining the rough skin on my knuckles. Their touch was causing nothing but hurt today, and I couldn't understand why. I was sure I hadn't gotten any stronger lately, and I didn't think I'd been any more rough with Rose. So why did she shy from my embrace?

Rose reached for me again, trying to pull me back to her, but I remained fixed to the spot, unable to meet her eyes. I was too afraid to touch her again, too scared I'd hurt her even more. When she tried to pull my lips to hers, I stood still as a statue, also remaining stationary when she tried to move her lips towards mine. It was I who pushed her away this time, taking her hands from my face and gently pushing them back towards her. I couldn't find the strength to meet her eyes; I was scared to find more pain within them. There was nowhere to turn--if I touched her, I hurt her; and if I kept my distance, I hurt her more. Stuck at a crossroads, I found myself unable to choose a path. It seemed like both of them were wrong, so very wrong. "Trey. Why won't you kiss me?" Rose's question cut through the silence with a sting like a knife. She moved towards me, wrapping her arms around me. I stood rigid, neither retreating nor moving into her touch. At first I closed my eyes, not wanting to avoid or return eye contact, but I could feel the weight of her gaze. Eventually I opened my eyes and spoke not to her face, but to her shoulder. I tried to choose my words carefully, but I was finding it difficult to even speak at all.

"It's not that, Rose..." I told her, shaking my head slightly. My speech emerged in a low, broken rumble, almost as if I had a sore throat. "Is there... Is there something wrong? You've been acting really weird lately, I mean... First you didn't come in last night, and then... Then you shoved me away when I tried to kiss you." I took a deep breath. "Are you mad at me? Because if something's wrong, you can tell me. I'm worried, Rose."

{ooc- geez this sucks ^^ sorry it took so long}

she stood by as it fell apart
seperate rooms and broken hearts
but I won't be the one
to let you go

text
speech
thoughts
others' speech
lyrics

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/color][/size][/center]

"i shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
i lift my lids and all is born again.
(i think i made you up inside my head.)"

mcmarti99

guest

to the ::edge:: of all we've ever known Dec 24, 2012 23:19:04 GMT -5

Post by mcmarti99 on Dec 24, 2012 23:19:04 GMT -5

Two shadows standing by the bedroom door
No, I could not want you more
Than I did right then
As our heads leaned in

[/size][/i][/font][/center]

"It's not that, Rose..."

Trey's eyes grazed my shoulder, not daring to meet mine. His voice was a muffled rumble, filled with pain and confusion. My hands moved down his arms, hooking them around my waist, but not pushing him to pull me closer. Though it would have been my dying wish that he did. "Is there... Is there something wrong? You've been acting really weird lately, I mean... First you didn't come in last night, and then... Then you shoved me away when I tried to kiss you." I started to shake my head, and tell him that nothing was wrong, but with a deep intake of breath, he continued, and I didn't interrupt. "Are you mad at me? Because if something's wrong, you can tell me. I'm worried, Rose." I did shake my head now, slowly and timidly. The need to tell him why I'd refrained from the closeness I usually loved was not something I wanted to take care of. He deserved that much though, didn't he? I needed to set his worries aside and let him know I was okay.

"Trey,"[/b] I said quietly, caressing his cheek. "I'm not mad at you. I've never been, and I never will be. It's nothing that you've done that's made me this way. Really, it's me. For some reason... my chest is really tender, I feel tender all over really. I don't know why, and I don't know what it is.[/b] My gaze shifted to my bare feet. I hadn't taken the time for shoes when we ran out of the house, and now the cool forest dirt tingled against the bottoms of my feet. It was more comfortable, looking at my feet rather than at Trey. It was uncomfortable telling him about my body, and what it felt like. Especially since the most pain was in my breasts. Though I didn't flat out tell him that, he must have put two and two together, and I was too afraid his gaze was lingering at my chest to meet his eyes.

"I hate it you know. I wish you could hug me right now, and it wouldn't hurt. I wish I could have slipped into bed with you last night without knowing that every time you hugged me my chest would hurt. But I didn't.[/b] The reason behind the pain in my chest bewildered me more than anything else. I'd thought the main reason for not slipping into bed with Trey was because after I'd gotten up from the bathroom, I'd wanted to sleep so much that I'd forgotten about him. But looking back now, my foggy mind must have made some sort of connection between the pain in my chest and the closeness of Trey's body it we were in the same bed. There must have been something changing about me. I've had to use the bathroom more than once every hour for the past few days, I've been utterly exhausted all the time, and the taste of food had nauseated me. Earlier in the week, Trey had made me pancakes again, but I couldn't even finish one without puking it back up.

My mind raced to find and answer to all the questions that swirled through my brain. Somewhere in the mess, distinct memories of the day at the pond came back to me. Why now, of all times would those memories be coming back? I shook my head, trying to sort out the rest of my thoughts as I had to devote my full attention to those memories to enjoy them. Then, another bizarre thought popped into my head. It's been over two weeks since the due date of my monthly bleeding. I'd been so busy with Trey that I'd hardly notice. Why did that occur to me now? All of my jumbled memories and thoughts had to connect somehow. It was as if someone handed me a puzzle box and told me to solve it. Or someone gave me a complicated math equation to solve. But it felt like I was missing one of the pieces, or one of the numbers was a 4 instead of a 9. My mind tried to piece everything together, but there was something I was missing. A word? A phrase? A memory, perhaps?

It had worn me out getting here, when I'd run much faster for much longer another time. I hadn't been deprived of my exercise, as Trey and I found something to do around the house that gave me that. And if I couldn't eat much without becoming nauseated, then how could I have gained so much weight? I gained weight, was tired easily, had to use the bathroom all the time, missed my monthly bleeding, had memories of Trey at the pond, my breasts were tender, and now that I looked at them, enlarged. What was wrong with me? Was it puberty, or was it... Then it hit me.

I was pregnant.

My stomach felt like it dropped out of me and rolled away. My heart sped up so much faster than it ever had. My jaw dropped to my feet. I am pregnant.[/i] My eyes lit up like the sky after the sun had risen. The sunrise.[/i] The day at the pond. We'd done it. Trey and I... and now I was pregnant. It all made sense. The strange symptoms, the want to be close to Trey, the need to relive that moment. I was pregnant. Inside me, a little life was flourishing off of my nutrients. And that life was my baby. Trey was my baby's father.[/i] Trey was going to be a father, and I was going to be a mother. We were going to raise a child that was living inside me to become an adult. We were going to care for the life in my stomach till the day we died. We would be forever tied to the life in my stomach. And it would always be ours. I was pregnant. I was having Treyson Cooper's child.

Trey moved his hands to my arm as recognition passed through my eyes. This was really happening. I was pregnant. He tugged gently on my arm, seeing my reaction to something I was thinking. Something I wanted to tell him, now. "Trey. You remember the day by the pond. The day you showed me the sunrise. The day we'd waded in the waters of that pond, and your fingers lost themselves in my hair, and we'd kissed till it was almost dark. That day that... that we'd become one person rather than two. The day that I became a part of me and I became a part of you. The day when we became each other. The day when we became the closest we could ever get. Trey. It was that day, that everything changed. It was that next week when everything started becoming weird for me. You remember when you made me pancakes a few weeks ago? I could barely eat one, and ended up puking it up afterwards. I didn't come in your bedroom last night because I was too tired from going to the bathroom so often. Trey. I missed my monthly bleeding, two weeks behind on it now. My breasts are tender Trey, and they've become a lot bigger than they usually are. I've gained weight, but barely eaten anything. Trey...Trey, my most perfect true love. I.. I am carrying your baby. Trey. I'm pregnant."[/b]

I threw my arms around his neck. I pulled him into me despite the pain in my chest. No longer did I care. My lips went to his neck, and I kissed his jawline and his nose and his cheeks. His forehead and his hairline and his eyelids and his ears. I kissed Trey until the only place left to put my lips were on his. Then, I kissed those too, a passion for him so fierce and sudden letting my tongue slip into his mouth. I pulled Trey closer, so close that we morphed into one object, my arms constricting vines that tugged and tugged. My hands traveled the length of his back, feeling under his shirt for the skin that was part of me. After doing all of this in only an instant, I leaned back, my arms still laced around Trey's neck. I didn't take the time to notice his reaction before I spoke again.

"Trey. You're a father. I'm a mother. We created the life inside me. We're the parents of our child. Our child, Trey. You're child, that you created inside of me. And Treyson. I've never loved you so much in my life.[/b]

Hold my breath as we're moving in
Taste your lips and feel your skin
When the time comes
Baby don't run
Just Kiss me
Slowly.

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thoughts
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lyrics

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Last Edit: Dec 29, 2012 1:40:10 GMT -5 by mcmarti99

Raseri
Career Tribute

552 POSTS
last seen Dec 5, 2023 15:35:48 GMT -5

mayor of bootyville

to the ::edge:: of all we've ever known Dec 25, 2012 23:51:06 GMT -5

Post by Raseri on Dec 25, 2012 23:51:06 GMT -5

she shows me everything she used to know
picture frames and country roads
when the days were long
and the world was small

”Trey, I’m not mad at you.” I knew she would say that, but for some reason, I’d asked anyways. There had been a possibility that she might not have said it, and I guess I’d just wanted to get that out of the way. Rose went on to tell me her chest had been hurting, which was why she’d pushed me away earlier. I made a conscious effort not to let my eyes drift towards her chest as she spoke. On a normal day, I’d probably laugh and try to lighten the mood, telling her that was “too much info, girlfriend,” but today was serious. I was going to ask her about it—I wanted to help her, if I could—but she continued before I could press her further, and I kept quiet, anxious to find the answers to my other questions.

There was a long silence where Rose seemed to contemplate something, her eyes darting around as if they were searching for something, yet seeing nothing. I watched her with concern, wishing—not for the first time—that I could read minds. I couldn’t tell if she was scared, or upset, or even excited, but the look on her face worried me all the same. Recognition then flooded her face, her jaw dropping, her eyes widening. Reaching towards her arm, I prompted her with a gentle tug, knowing that, whatever it was, she was dying to tell me about it.

”Trey, you remember the day by the pond,” she began finally, more of a statement than a question. Of course I remembered the day by the pond—how could I forget? I’d woken up early and urged her out of bed, making sure we made it to the woods before the sun came up. We’d fallen asleep in the high grass after watching the sunrise, and then somehow I’d convinced her to go skinny dipping in a pond my friends and I used to swim in. When she jumped in, she almost drowned, and by some miracle I’d managed to stop her from dying. Then we’d kissed, and…

Oh.

The answer hit me harder than a rock to the forehead, and Rose’s voice only confirmed it. Why hadn’t I seen it earlier? My eyes widened slightly, though I had no idea why this took me by surprise. The signs had been right there all along, staring me right in the face, and yet I’d been too selfish to see them. “She’s mad at me,” I’d thought, when really she’d been the one who was hurting. She was never mad at me, Rose never got mad at anyone. And what was worse: she should have been upset with me.

It was all my fault. The words echoed through my mind until they were all that remained, reverberating and ringing in my ears and throbbing in my skull. I turned to stone, standing still as a statue. When Rose kissed me, I stared straight ahead, my frozen lips nonresistant and unresponding. Her words were lost on my stony ears, for statues can't hear. All I could think about were those five words. It was my fault, and this time the wrong would never be undone. Rose was going to have a baby, and at her young age she was going to have to raise it. She couldn't get rid of it, and it was all my fault.

I wanted her to be upset with me. I wanted her to scream at me, to hit me, to hate me for what I'd done to her, as much as I hated myself. It would make me feel better to know that I was getting what I deserved for once, instead of having kindness and happiness handed to me on a plate at no cost. And it was at no cost, wasn't it? I didn't deserve Rose, and this life of leisure we'd been having. There was nothing special about me, just a "local District Seven yokel," as I had once put it. I'd saved no lives, I'd fed no hungry, I'd won no wars. All I had ever done my entire life was eat bacon and carve animals out of wood. I should have known it wouldn't last long.

How could she be so happy about this? Rose was going to spend the next nine months in horrible pain, but you would think by her reaction that it was Christmas. She was jumping with joy; meanwhile, I was still trying to process the thought that I had created a human being inside of my girlfriend. No, not a human being. A monster that was only going to get bigger and bigger, stretching her and feeding off of her from the inside.

But in reality, wasn't I the real monster? I couldn't decide; my head was hurting too much from the echoes.

The first sign that I had changed from my statue form was the way my adam's apple bobbed as I swallowed. The second was when I advanced to the nearest tree and threw my fist into its bark as hard as I possibly could. A sharp hiss escaped my lips as my knuckles connected with the rough skin of the oak, and my hand came away bloody and covered in wood dust. But somehow, in a morbid sort of way, the pain was comforting; I deserved it. Letting out a frustrated growl, I aimed another blow at the tree, cringing at the sharp pain that followed. My fist hurt too much to try again, so I kicked the base of the tree a few times. When I was done, I rested my forehead against the blood-stained trunk and stared with teary eyes at the dark, warm liquid trickling from my fist. When another wave of echoes began in my mind, I closed my eyes, unable to look at her. Rose, the girl I didn't deserve--she was too good, too forgiving. She didn't deserve a stupid, selfish boy like me.

"I'm sorry, Rose," I choked out between my heavy ~~sobs~~ breaths. "I'm so sorry." I didn't want forgiveness. But I was sorry. Sorry I'd gotten her pregnant, sorry I hadn't followed my first instincts--if I hadn't kissed her that day, none of this would've happened. I was sorry I'd been so stupid. The truth was, I was sorry about everything. But sadly, none of it could ever be fixed.

{ooc- okay so it's 11:47 pm here, so technically I posted this on Christmas xD}

she stood by as it fell apart
separate rooms and broken hearts
but I won't be the one
to let you go

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lyrics

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"i shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
i lift my lids and all is born again.
(i think i made you up inside my head.)"

mcmarti99

guest

to the ::edge:: of all we've ever known Dec 26, 2012 16:00:12 GMT -5

Post by mcmarti99 on Dec 26, 2012 16:00:12 GMT -5

Two shadows standing by the bedroom door
No, I could not want you more
Than I did right then
As our heads leaned in

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The stillness of Trey's body pulled into mine confused me. One of my hands traveled to his chest. I was trying to feel the speeding of his heart, the happy beat that always played there when we kissed. My other hand felt for the goosebumps on his arms, knowing they were always there. I'd never actually felt them, but out of the corner of my eye I always saw them. The only thing I felt on his arms was cold stillness. He was a stone. But not like I'd always imagined him to be. He wasn't like a rock, holding me in place while the earth spun around me. Trey wasn't there at all. His body felt empty and lost. My hands nervously flew to his wrist to check his pulse. It was there, the steady beat of his heart, but it was dangerously slow. There was no rush of the rhythm. No sign that he was even breathing in and out. I clung to him desperately, not knowing what he would do scared me, as I usually could predict it.

Then I heard him swallow. An exasperated sigh of relief blew out of my mouth. He was alive. Then, his body left me. The coldness that came after was much colder than the floor against my bare feet this morning. It was a thousand times more chilled than the absence of his good morning hug. It was much colder than the woods on winter mornings or the icy stares of my father. The cold that came to me was a cold I'd never felt before, a cold that instead of freezing my heart into an indestructible piece, shattered it into three billion.

But that cold was nothing compared to the pain of seeing Trey's fist collide with the bark of a nearby oak. The pain that hit me wasn't cold. It wasn't burning either. It was just hurt. Everything about it made me want to scream. It was like when I saw my mother's last breath leave her broken body. Then came the blood. The warm, red, liquid streamed down Trey's fist, and vomit rose up in my throat. I dropped to the ground, hugging myself to try and hold myself together. Trey was my rock. He was supposed to hold me together, but now all I had were my knees pulled to my chest, and my heart, beating erratically in my chest.

The sound of Trey's fist colliding yet again with the bark of the oak forced a sob from me. Tears lined the sleeves of his maroon sweatshirt laid loosely on my body. Sweat dripped down my forehead, the stress of the situation causing my body to do crazy things. I buried my face in my knees and dug my finger nails into my palms until blood dripped from them onto the ground. I could not stand this. My vision blurred, and black crept around the edges, but I pushed it back, and forced myself to stand.

Trey had his forehead pressed into the bloody trunk of the tree. His back was turned to me, and I wanted to desperately to run into his arms, to tell him to take everything he just did back. Because I didn't understand. Had I not made it clear enough that I wanted this? That day at the pond, I knew exactly what we were doing. And I knew exactly what the outcome could be. I planned for it. And it didn't stop me, because I wanted it. I wanted to carry a part of Trey with me. Always, did I wanted him to fester inside of me. And now he did. And it made me happy. Why was he apologizing? Anger rose up in my throat. I was about to scream at him and tell him to never hurt himself again. I was about to tell him that I wanted this, and he gave me what I wanted. But my throat would form words.

He wouldn't look at me. I wanted to rip his forehead from the tree. I wanted him to look into my eyes and see that what he was doing was making me angry. But I dropped to the ground again, crying sounds escaping every open wound Trey had just made in me. He'd hurt me, and he didn't even realize it. Still, his eyes wouldn't turn to me. He wanted me to be upset at him. Was that why he'd just caused himself pain? Was he that cruel that he would hurt himself, because it hurt me? No. Trey was not cruel. He loved me. He was sorry. Trey mumbled the words just loud enough that they reached my ears. And they instilled an anger in me.

"Trey. Trey look at me!"[/b] I yelled at him. His eyes still would not meet mine, and the anger he instilled in me gave me enough strength to stomp over to him. I pulled forcefully on his shoulder, spinning him around. I put my hand on the top of his head, and pushed on it so that he was looking down at me. I expected anger to swell in me at the expression on his face. I expected myself to be so angry that he was sorry. But I wasn't. Tears slid down my face instead, fueled not by anger, but by sadness. By hurt. Trey didn't want the baby. Or more, he didn't want me to have it. Now fear fueled my tears like gasoline fueled flame. And I was like a flame, always changing from blue to red to orange. Blue being the hottest, most angry side of myself. I was angry that Trey had caused himself pain, sure that he knew it would make me upset. Then to orange. The side of myself that was sad, but angry, but... hurt. Then to red. The pain in myself was lessening. Then I wasn't angry at all. But I still burned.

Sadness still swam in my eyes, but I was not angry. I could not change Trey's feelings, and he had to get them out somehow. What else had I expected him to do? I needed to convince him that time would go on, and we'd be happy. I needed to convince him to love the baby as much as I was sure I would. "Trey,"I began, my voice shaky."Listen. You've told me, time and time again, that you love me. That you love every part of me. And I've told you, time and time again, that I love you, too. That I always will, and that I love every part of you. I told you I trusted you with my life... so how could you not believe that I hadn't trusted you with my body? How could you even think for one second I would regret that day at the pond, even if a baby came out of it? Trey, if you love every part of me, then you have to love this baby too. Because now, it's also a part of me. And it's because I love every part of you, that lets me love the baby too."[/b]

I let my hand drop from Trey's head, and his eyes stayed on mine. My fingers found the warmth in his like a person would find a fireplace on a cold winter's morning. Trey wasn't my rock. Rocks were too cold and unwelcoming. He was the fireplace, and I was the fire. Or maybe we took turns, containing each others blaze. Somehow, though, we always found that balance between each other, and no matter what, things always turned out right. We always somehow were in harmony, that it be the melody of our laughs, or the steadiness of our hearts, we were made for each other, like a flame and a fireplace. [/size]

Hold my breath as we're moving in
Taste your lips and feel your skin
When the time comes
Baby don't run
Just Kiss me
Slowly.

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text
speech
thoughts
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lyrics

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Last Edit: Dec 29, 2012 1:39:33 GMT -5 by mcmarti99

Raseri
Career Tribute

552 POSTS
last seen Dec 5, 2023 15:35:48 GMT -5

mayor of bootyville

to the ::edge:: of all we've ever known Dec 27, 2012 11:21:54 GMT -5

Post by Raseri on Dec 27, 2012 11:21:54 GMT -5

she shows me everything she used to know
picture frames and country roads
when the days were long
and the world was small

”Trey. Trey, look at me!” The urgency in Rose’s voice surprised me, but still I couldn’t obey. I couldn’t turn around and look at her after what I’d done to her. In the end, it was probably because I was a coward, unable to face my mistakes. The only way I moved my head was up, so I could occupy my eyes on the tree’s branches instead of the ground. It was then that a light spot in the bark caught my eye, and I realized exactly where we were. It was the tree we’d climbed on the very first day, when she’d hurt her ankle. It had been our beginning, and now I had to wonder; would it be our end as well? I couldn’t see Rose’s face from where I was standing. Had she realized it too?

The next thing I knew, I was being spun around by my shoulder with surprising force. When Rose pushed my head down to look at her, I had no choice but to reluctantly meet her eyes. What I found in them was not anger, like I’d expected,—like I’d hoped, rather—but hurt. Tears streamed in waterfalls down her rosy cheeks, too many for me to kiss away like I used to. There I went again, hurting her even more. I couldn’t stand it. It was exactly what I’d wanted to avoid, on that very first morning that we’d woken up together—she on a bloodstained sofa, I on a wooden chair. I hadn’t wanted to kiss her, because I knew deep down that it would end up just like every other relationship I’d had with a girl—in pain. It was the most intelligent thought I’d mustered since I met Rose, honestly. I had known my history—I was a player, a selfish boy who messed with girls’ hearts, who took and never gave. But of course, I hadn’t paid attention to my own warning, because I was selfish. I’d disregarded my worries and suspicions because I thought that Rose would be the one to change me. Well, I guess some people, no matter what, will never change.

I forced myself to hold onto Rose’s gaze, despite the way the sadness within it threatened to drive my eyes away. She lifted her shaky voice again, speaking gently to me about how we’d both told each other we both loved one another. She’d trusted me with her life, so her body was included. There was no way she could regret the day at the pond, no matter what came out of it. She could love the baby because it was a part of me, whether I liked it or not. Even now, Rose never ceased to amaze me. After what I’d done to her, she still thought of me before she thought of herself. I wasn’t half as strong.

I realized then that it didn’t matter what I did, because Rose was one of those people—like me—who never changed. She loved me and the baby, and now all she wanted was for me to love the baby too. But, being me, I couldn’t. There was no way I could ever love that baby, that thing, the parasite that would be feeding off of her for months. But I would find it in myself to tolerate it, for Rose’s sake. She deserved it.

Rose’s fingers found mine, and I gave her hand a gentle squeeze. We were going to get through this, I knew—we’d crossed bridges before, and one more would do nothing to bring us down. This one might be long, rickety, and tedious, full of cracks and spaces, but we’d cross it just the same. And if it somehow cracked and fell, dropping us into the raging rapids below, we would hold hands just like this and ford the river. When we were apart, we were nothing. But together, we could cross bridges, move mountains. Ours was the love that could bring down cities, and build them back up just as fast. It was a stupid, reckless, beautiful kind of love, and I realized then that nothing could ever stop its flame from burning.

“All right,” I told her after a long pause, a newly-inspired smile on my face. ”I’ll try.”

{ooc-wanted to get this up before I went to my aunt’s today}

she stood by as it fell apart
seperate rooms and broken hearts
but I won't be the one
to let you go

text
speech
thoughts
others' speech
lyrics

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/color][/size][/center]

Last Edit: Dec 27, 2012 11:23:57 GMT -5 by Raseri

"i shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
i lift my lids and all is born again.
(i think i made you up inside my head.)"

mcmarti99

guest

to the ::edge:: of all we've ever known Dec 29, 2012 1:38:35 GMT -5

Post by mcmarti99 on Dec 29, 2012 1:38:35 GMT -5

Two shadows standing by the bedroom door
No, I could not want you more
Than I did right then
As our heads leaned in

[/size][/i][/font][/center]

"All right,"

Trey said softly, a smile spreading across his face. "I'll try." I laced my arms around Trey's neck and moved into him, my lips slowly spreading into a smile. "Good boy,"[/b] I said, chuckling. My gaze went to the tree behind us. I marveled at the control Trey could have. One minute, he was punching a tree, and the next, letting me hug him. I was about to abandon the tree for the sight of Trey's eyes, but something at the base of the tree caught my attention. It was the claw marks of a bear. To anyone else, this would be totally mortifying and intimidating. But I broke away from Trey and ran my hands over the base of the tree, kneeling in front of it to get a closer look at the scratch marks. My eyes traveled quickly up the tree, not wishing to stay on the blood that marked the places Trey punched it. I saw the exact limb I was looking for. This was the tree where Trey and I had actually met. The tree that a bear had scratched up at the bottom. The place where Trey carried me from to my home. This was the beginning for us. Just like my pregnancy was.

I took Trey's hand and hoisted myself up on the first limb. It was a challenge, but climbing trees was natural for me. I tugged on Trey's hand until he was up beside me, and then continued to the next limb until we were at the limb we first spoke to each other on. It was wide, and the bark was familiar. The limb we were on was connected to the base trunk, and as I pulled Trey up in front of me, I slumped down against the base trunk. Tugging on Trey's hand until he sat down in front of me, my eyes scanned the dense foliage around us. The greenery reflected in Trey's eyes, making his dark brown orbs look more emerald. I positioned my self so that one of my legs was dangling from the limb, and one was bent at the knee, the palm of my foot against the bark. I rested my head on my knee and watched Trey for a moment, marveling at how the green around us changed his features.

Scooting a little closer to Trey, I pulled on the back of his neck until our foreheads touched. Green shapes danced in his eyes, and I could see the morphed form of myself in their reflection. I hoped that our baby would have Trey's eyes. They were so much more deep and majestic than my own, merely a pale blue. I smiled as I tried to picture what a mixture of mine and Trey's fixtures would look like. Trey was so handsome. If we had a son, I would want it to look exactly like him. If we had a daughter, I'd want her to be built small, like me, so that she could grow up and have someone bulky like Trey to stand over her and love her. I still couldn't believe that I would be having Trey's child, that we were parents. I chuckled lightly. I had no idea how we were going to do this, but we had each other, and we had Trey's parents. Their reactions to the news would be interesting. Something told me Jody already knew somehow. She'd been pregnant at a time, she must have known what to look for. And she didn't seem bothered by it at all. Trey's father, however, I was worried about. It seemed Trey got most of his traits from his dad, and I didn't want their reactions to be the same. Really, I didn't want Trey's dad to be disappointed with him for what he did. Mostly because I wasn't. I hoped that his parent had pictured me to be the one Trey would start a family with.I was convinced I would see our entire future laid out in Trey's eyes, and I stared into them hoping to answer some of my questions. The only answer I got was that we would make it work. The only thing I saw in his eyes was love, and that was enough to make me set my worries aside. Right now, my universe was centered around Trey.

We sat like this for a long time, just staring into each others eyes, my hand at Trey's neck. I moved my torso so that my back was to Trey, and lay my head in his lap. His hands automatically moved to my hair. One of my legs still dangled from the limb, and my other leg was still bent, my knee upwards and the bottom of my foot bare against the bark. I placed my hands over my stomach and stared up at Trey, enjoying this angle a bit more than our other position. I smiled up at Trey while he looked down at me. Raising up a little, I pulled in his neck until our lips met. Warmth spread through me and made butterflies in my stomach. I laid back down in his lap and waited until the jitters surpassed before I spoke."You know this tree is the one we first spoke in. The tree that you carried me from. Where you insisted on being a gentleman. And look at the trouble that got you into,"[/b] I chuckled. Taking a moment to look up at his eyes again, I paused, running my hand along the length of his jaw. "Remember that game we played all day the first day I spent at your house. Truth, I think you called it. Could we play it again?"[/b]

{ooc- good gosh this sucks. sorry for the lateness. I sent you a PM to read before you post<3}

[/size]

Hold my breath as we're moving in
Taste your lips and feel your skin
When the time comes
Baby don't run
Just Kiss me
Slowly.[/size][/font][/i]

text
speech
thoughts
others speech
lyrics

[/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote] [/size][/center]

Last Edit: Dec 30, 2012 22:19:53 GMT -5 by mcmarti99

Raseri
Career Tribute

552 POSTS
last seen Dec 5, 2023 15:35:48 GMT -5

mayor of bootyville

to the ::edge:: of all we've ever known Jan 2, 2013 22:49:37 GMT -5

Post by Raseri on Jan 2, 2013 22:49:37 GMT -5

she shows me everything she used to know
picture frames and country roads
when the days were long
and the world was small

"Good boy," said Rose with a chuckle. I followed the trail of her eyes to the tree I had punched a few moments earlier. Moving away from me, she approached it and kneeled down to look at the scratch marks the bear had left, running her hand along the rough surface of the bark. She must not have noticed the tree's significance until just now. I watched her hand glide along the markings, certain that she was thinking the same thing as me. This tree had been our beginning. If it weren't for this oak, the two of us wouldn't even be alive today. We had been safe in the security of its branches, far out of reach from the injured bear. I'd caught Rose when she slipped, though she narrowly missed falling into the crushing grasp of the grizzly. That day had started out not unlike this one; I woke up alone, and I went into the woods. Waking up on that fateful morning, I had never even dreamed that anything close to its outcome could happen. I never considered that I might meet a girl in the forest, or that I would get into a life-threatening fight with her drunken, abusive father.

I followed Rose up into the tree, getting closer to the branch we had sat on before with every inch. The friction of the bark against my leathery hands brought memories of our meeting rushing back to me, and by the time I got to the branch, I could picture everything clearly in my mind. I remembered the exact spot from which Rose's foot had slipped, and the place I'd started whittling my block of wood into a tiny fox. I was silent for a moment as I inhaled the scent of the wilderness, because mine and Rose's voices took over all speech in my head. Her laugh rang out like tinkling bells in my ears, and mine followed in a lower tone, sounding like a musical harmony although it probably hadn't really been one. My laugh had come easily on that day. I hadn't known what was in store for me later on.

It felt weird. Looking back on that day, I mean. Although it had been just a few months ago, it seemed like years. As the images flashed through my mind, it felt unreal. It was like I was watching a movie, as if the pictures were from someone else's memory instead of mine. And I guess, in a way, they were. Back then, I was a different person. I was younger, in a way, and the cares of the world had yet to rest on my shoulders. Though I hadn't grown at all physically, I felt like now I had aged well beyond my years. Older, though no wiser, obviously. Our day in the tree had been a fleeting moment of happiness in a different world, a land of simplicity and summer, happiness and youth. Back then, we seemed invincible--now, I wasn't so sure. I almost wished those memories had been a movie, because then I could rewind it and start over. We wouldn't be in this predicament. But sadly, the memories were going to stay memories, and there was no way to change them. If I could reach into a thought cloud and pull out that day at the pond, I could rearrange everything and make it better. But life just wasn't that easy.

Our foreheads connected, and I watched the reflection of the leaves in Rose's eyes. The blue and green blurred together so that her eyes resembled the ocean, or at least what I had always imagined the ocean to look like. Neither of us were speaking, so I just listened to the soundtrack of our laughs playing in my head, trying to pretend that this was that same day all over again. But try as I might, I couldn't shake the thought that it would never be the same. It couldn't, not after what was happening to Rose. We were never going to be children again, like we had been then. Not when we had to raise a child of our own.

My fingers absentmindedly stroked Rose's hair when she laid her head in my lap. Even with these thoughts in my head, the small gesture made me feel better. I guess it served as a reminder that she was still there. It sounded cliché, and really corny, but I thought, No matter what happens, Rose and I are still going to have each other. I was going to be there, to run my fingers through her hair whenever she needed it. To help her raise the baby. I glanced at her stomach, which didn't seem to be showing any changes--but I suppose the people you see every day just stay the same in your head all the time. I knew that, technically, it was our baby, but I couldn't bring myself to think about it that way. Not yet. I said a silent prayer that it would look like Rose instead of me. Maybe then, I could imagine that it wasn't something I had created. I had made Rose into a teenage mother, and I just hoped that each time I looked at the kid, it wouldn't serve as a constant reminder of my mistake.

The touch of Rose's lips drew me out of my thoughts and back into reality. When we both broke away to breathe, she settled back into my lap and spoke.

"You know this tree is the one we first spoke in. The tree that you carried me from. Where you insisted on being a gentleman. And look at the trouble that got you into," she said, more of a statement than a question. I caught her hand as it ran along my jawline, drawing it to my lips and holding there as she continued. "Remember that game we played all day the first day I spent at your house. Truth, I think you called it. Could we play it again?" I nodded and smiled silently. It was one of my favorite games, just because you could find so much out about people.

"Okay," I breathed, quickly thinking of a question. "If you could go back in time and do one thing, what would you do?"

she stood by as it fell apart
separate rooms and broken hearts
but I won't be the one
to let you go

{ooc-I hope this makes sense because I wrote it really late at night}

text
speech
thoughts
others' speech
lyrics

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/color][/size][/center]

"i shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
i lift my lids and all is born again.
(i think i made you up inside my head.)"

mcmarti99

guest

to the ::edge:: of all we've ever known Jan 4, 2013 21:28:23 GMT -5

Post by mcmarti99 on Jan 4, 2013 21:28:23 GMT -5

Two shadows standing by the bedroom door
No, I could not want you more
Than I did right then
As our heads leaned in

[/size][/i][/font][/center]

"Okay,"

Trey said, his lips stretching into a smile that I felt with my fingers. "If you could go back in time and do one thing, what would you do?" I laughed at him. He was so stuck on the past, I wondered if the future ever crossed his mind. Sometimes I wish that the past never existed, that my life was always as sweet as it was with Trey. I wish that I never had to live to see my mother die, or my father turn from loving to horrible. Or that I ever saw to live Trey fight for me like he did, and care for me with such tenderness. Even though I didn't deserve it. I knew I didn't deserve it, and I wished I'd never lived to see it, but I needed that tenderness Trey gave me more and more desperately these days. My selfish heart wouldn't allow me to wish that Trey never happened. Sadly, I didn't regret getting him into this. While Trey spoke like getting me pregnant burned a hole in his chest, the fact that I'd gotten Trey into so much more trouble, that if it were for that fateful day, then the hole in his chest wouldn't be there, burned into mine. An annoying part of myself told me that every time he looked at me lovingly, I shouldn't be enjoying it. I didn't deserve it, and Trey didn't deserve to be stuck to me in such a way. When I saw his face when he realized I'd followed him back to my house, I thought he'd finally realized that he didn't, shouldn't, waste his time on me. Which scared me into thinking he was upset about the baby because it tied him down to me. He would feel obliged to help me raise it, just because that was the kind of person he was.

Somehow though, those thoughts had been pushed to the back of my mind, and I didn't fully understand them until now. Now that I was lying in Trey's lap, his baby swarming in my stomach. Now that it was much to late to take it all back. My smile faded. He was tied down to me, and while that should make me feel happy, it made guilt boil in my stomach. His eyes, so loving and perfect, were two perfect orbs I didn't deserve. Or rather, the love behind it was what I shouldn't have. Another thought surfaced in my mind. What if Trey and I had a normal relationship? I could have snuck out and met him. We could have gradually fell in love, in a much easier way. Would I be carrying Trey's child right now if he hadn't saved me? Would he still have fallen in love with me so quickly? The guilt in my stomach was becoming much too heavy to bare. The fact that I was in his lap, that his hands were mindlessly running themselves through my hair, was adding to the boiling feeling in my stomach. The selfishness in me wouldn't let me sit up though. The part of me that wanted to saver everything Trey gave me before more things interfered with us, made me also not want to get up.

It's not like there weren't other things I could have taken back. If I couldn't bring myself to truth and tell Trey how awful I felt about us, I did have another thing in mind. Something a little lighter. I would have scaled down the apple tree. When Trey and I first met, I'd dropped from an apple tree and landed on my ankle wrong. It was because of that drop, the sharp tensing in my legs, that had lured Trey to my house in the first place. He'd insisted on carrying me home that day. And that's where our troubled romance had begun. If I hadn't landed on my ankle, maybe Trey and I could have a shot at a normal romance. I wanted to tell him both. I wanted him to understand the two major mistakes in my life, and why I'd be too selfish to take either back. However, I didn't want to ruin the lightness of his smile, or how I laid in his lap, or how his hands were running through my hair.

The courage to actually speak was hiding inside me, and I searched violently for it, Trey's gaze asking again for an answer. The seemingly bottomless pit of guilt in my stomach was about to explode. I clutched my abdomen, trying to hold it together. The pain was actual hurt, actual physical pain in my stomach. I wondered if it was the baby, and perhaps it was acting as my conscious. Perhaps it was trying to tell me that I was wrong, even though I knew I was right. I wished that kissing Trey would let a little warmth pour into me, just to untighten my stomach. But I knew that would only make it worse. Instead, I took Trey's hands and guided them to my stomach. I covered them with mine and let him soak up the pain it was causing me to hide these things from him. And the worry in his stare gave me the courage to speak. "Trey.. there aren't many things that come to mind when you ask me that."[/b] I clenched at the pain in my stomach. Trey tried to move his hands away, but I held them to my stomach and continued, my voice shaking on the verge of tears. "There's only a few things I truly regret that I can remember. One of them, is.. I was so selfish to bring you into my life. It was so wrong of me to sit by and watch you make me better. It was wrong of me to let you heal my heart and body and soul, but not worry about what I was doing to yours. Sometimes, I find myself regretful that I... stayed. Everything would have been so much easier if I had just left after I could. You wouldn't... have had to take care of me. I knew you would, and I took advantage of it."[/b]

I pressed Trey's hands harder into my stomach as the pain increased."But the selfishness in me won't let me take that back. Something is keeping me from wanting to take that back. But I would, Trey. I would do anything to keep you happy. If I did, you wouldn't be tied to me. You wouldn't have to feel like you have to take care of me."[/b] I swallowed a lump in my throat. "But no matter what, I will always and forever feel the need to love you."[/b] The uncomfort in my throat and stomach made me feel nauseous. I closed my eyes and released Trey's hands. "It's my turn to ask you something. Have you ever regretted helping me?"[/b][/size]

Hold my breath as we're moving in
Taste your lips and feel your skin
When the time comes
Baby don't run
Just Kiss me
Slowly.

[/size][/font][/i]

text
speech
thoughts
others speech
lyrics

[/justify]/[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/center]

Last Edit: Jan 4, 2013 21:29:03 GMT -5 by mcmarti99

Raseri
Career Tribute

552 POSTS
last seen Dec 5, 2023 15:35:48 GMT -5

mayor of bootyville

to the ::edge:: of all we've ever known Jan 12, 2013 1:19:20 GMT -5

Post by Raseri on Jan 12, 2013 1:19:20 GMT -5

she shows me everything she used to know
picture frames and country roads
when the days were long
and the world was small

Rose laughed at my question—or maybe she was just laughing at me—but I didn’t ask why. I just waited patiently for her to answer, figuring it would probably be something about her parents. She was silent for so long that I wondered if she had heard me ask the question. Then she stirred, grabbing my hands and bringing them to her stomach. For some reason, this made me really uncomfortable. It didn’t feel strange or gross or anything, it just felt like a stomach. And I knew that Rose wasn’t far enough into her pregnancy to be experiencing any kind of movement, like kicking. But still, I was imagining that a tiny baby was forming just inches under my hands, something that I had created within Rose. It made me squirm a little on the branch. I tried to slide my hand out of Rose’s grasp, but she wouldn’t let me. So I fixed my eyes on another branch a few feet in front of me and tried not to think about it. I focused my thoughts on the game instead.

"Trey.. there aren't many things that come to mind when you ask me that," she said finally. And then, instead of bringing up her mother, who had died years ago; or her father, who had abused her ever since then, she said she regretted bringing me into her life. Of all the things she could have come up with, it was something as stupid as that. I almost laughed out loud, like she had when I had asked my question, but I didn’t. She was still talking, and I didn’t want to interrupt. I did, however, take the time to smile at her and slowly shake my head as she continued to talk about things that didn’t matter. My mother had done the same thing when I was little and picked one of the last blooms out of her prized flowerbed.

She still doubted that I wanted to take care of her; she thought I felt entitled to doing so. In a way, I did. But it wasn’t because of the baby. I would’ve taken care of her anyways, just because that’s what people do when they love each other. And I knew we were under much more difficult circumstances than a lot of other teenage couples--On a scale of difficult romances, I imagined we were up there near Romeo and Juliet somewhere. But I did love her, so I was going to stay with her for as long as she needed me.

Finally, she let go of my hands. I quickly moved them back to her hair, trying not to seem too eager to get them off her stomach. I don’t think it worked.

”It’s my turn to ask you something. Have you ever regretted helping me?”

”No,” I blurted, before I had even thought about it. I tried not to contemplate it too hard, in case I started to doubt my answer. But it seemed like the more I thought about not thinking about it, the more I thought about it. Had I ever regretted it? True, things might have been easier if I had kept to myself, if I hadn’t followed her in the woods that day or carried her home. But would they have been better? Even though I loved Rose, would it have been the best for both of us if we’d have just parted ways as friends and left it at that?

Oh, who was I kidding? There was no way life could be better without her, I thought, watching her blue eyes. ”No, Rose,” I confirmed again. ”I haven’t regretted it, and I never will. Hell, carrying you home that day was probably the smartest thing I’ve ever done. And now… Now your father’s out of the picture, and everything’s gonna be okay.” Different, maybe, but okay. I moved a strand of hair out of her face with a smile, kissing her gently on the forehead. Then I leaned my head back for a moment, staring up through the canopy of leaves. ”Tell me about your mom and dad. What they used to be like,” I said quietly, although it wasn’t exactly a question. I realized too late that it might have been a touchy subject for her. But I guess I just wanted to know something about her that wasn’t about me. Something about her childhood, the part of her I hadn’t seen. Maybe she could tell me something about her dad that I wouldn’t hate.

{ooc- I know, I know. I'm sorry. I have the flu, and it has been draining every last drop of my muse. This isn't even a decent post.}

she stood by as it fell apart
separate rooms and broken hearts
but I won't be the one
to let you go

text
speech
thoughts
others' speech
lyrics

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/color][/size][/center]

"i shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
i lift my lids and all is born again.
(i think i made you up inside my head.)"

mcmarti99

guest

to the ::edge:: of all we've ever known Jan 13, 2013 21:36:53 GMT -5

Post by mcmarti99 on Jan 13, 2013 21:36:53 GMT -5

Two shadows standing by the bedroom door
No, I could not want you more
Than I did right then
As our heads leaned in

[/size][/i][/font][/center]

Trey's hands retreated from my stomach. There were multiple reasons I'd put them there. The first being, Trey needed to get used to the idea of a baby, even if it grossed him out that part of him was swarming in me. The second being, I wanted the baby to recognize him, what his touch did to me. I wanted that protective warmth that spread through me go straight to the baby. I wanted it to feel that when Trey held it too. My lips stretched into a smile as he blurted his answer to my question. He didn't regret it. In a way, the fact that he didn't regret helping me made my heart sink. I hadn't been hoping that he'd leave, but I wanted him to at least take the time to consider his answer and really think it through. He was supposed to regret it, but I was glad he didn't. I was happy that he was willing to stay with me and raise our baby. He said more, and I wished he'd just talk to me forever. His fingers gently pushed a stray hair from my face, and he leaned down and kissed my forehead. Warmth spread through me and I swear the baby moved.

Trey leaned back and stared up at the tree canopy. I smiled up at him, watching the green dance off his dark eyes. The green bounced off his brown irises like light from the sun. The light shone through the trees for a moment, giving his face an angelic glow. My smile widened.

”Tell me about your mom and dad. What they used to be like,” Trey said. At first, my breath caught in my throat. He wanted to know about me, and I've always tried to keep as much of my past hidden from him. Still, he wasn't aware that I'd worked about every job in the district by the time I was fifteen. But then his eyes locked on mine, and the love, the care, and the passion behind his gaze made me want to tell him everything. I wanted to show him every part of me. He made me want to relive the day at the pond again.

So I dove in, I told him about my mom and how she liked flowers. She loved trees, and she loved nature. She taught me how to grow flowers and pick the right blackberries off the bushes. I told Trey how I was like our baby, an accident. But how my mom always told me I was her greatest creation. I told him how my dad used to buy paints for my mom, and how we would paint together. Sometimes, when it was raining, there was a cave in the woods we would go in. My dad would bring a bucket of water inside the cave, and we'd paint the walls with water. Trey heard about how I always complained that they disappeared within minutes of our painting them, and how my mother always said that added a beauty to it that paints could not. He listened closely as I spoke about running through the tall grass in meadows, and how I would stockpile wildflowers.

I told him how my mother died. Tears threatened to consume me as I told him how it was my fault. I'd climbed a tree that was too high and I was too scared to get down. My mom had come up after me. She fell trying to get to me. I showed him the way my bone stuck out of my wrist because I fell trying to get to her. My mother had died on the forest floor, me in her arms. My father had found us like that. I told Trey how he rocked me to sleep when I had nightmares about watching my mother fall. His brow furrowed at every mention of my father. It was hard for even me to picture him the way he was. I couldn't imagine how hard it was for Trey to picture what I was telling him. But all of it was true. My father had really tried.

Then he gave up. I came home from school one day, and he was drunk. That was the first time he'd beaten me, and I didn't understand why. I was young, but I'd stopped counting the years when my mother died. Finally, the topic of what happened after that came up. I tried my best to explain to Trey that my father had sent me to work at every job without angering him. It was hard to tell him that I hardly ate most days, and very few nights did I actually sleep. He didn't cut in once. I kept the past few years of my life short, summarizing it by just saying things got worse. Then I told our story. I told Trey every thing we did together, and how he changed my life. I told him the things about me he already knew, every great part of our relationship until this moment. "...then, I was laying in your lap, in the same tree you carried me from. And I knew, right then and there, that you were the only person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I realized I didn't need to hide anything from you. And I realized that I love you more than anything or anyone in the entire world. Then, you smiled,"[/b] I finished, and he did smile. My heart skipped a beat, and I sat up, letting my lips find his, and for a moment, I never thought I'd ever be happier in my life.[/size]

Hold my breath as we're moving in
Taste your lips and feel your skin
When the time comes
Baby don't run
Just Kiss me
Slowly.

[/size][/font][/i]

text
speech
thoughts
others speech
lyrics

[/justify]/[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/center]

Raseri
Career Tribute

552 POSTS
last seen Dec 5, 2023 15:35:48 GMT -5

mayor of bootyville

to the ::edge:: of all we've ever known Jan 15, 2013 18:31:42 GMT -5

Post by Raseri on Jan 15, 2013 18:31:42 GMT -5

she shows me everything she used to know
picture frames and country roads
when the days were long
and the world was small

As Rose began to tell me about her parents, I listened closely to every detail. Closing my eyes, I let the scenes play out like short clips of a movie in my head. I could picture everything she was saying perfectly, and even though I’d never met her mother, I made up a picture of her in my head that sort of looked like a mixture of my mom and Rose. After each part was over, I put it in a mental treasure chest in the back of my mind for safekeeping. I decided I would reserve that part of me for all the stories Rose told me, so I wouldn’t forget them. For some reason, doing that felt really important at that moment. Right after I’d asked that question, I’d realized how little I really knew about her past. I’d also realized that I had an uncanny urge to know everything I could about her, even the little things that didn’t really affect much anymore.

She pretty much replayed every significant event that had happened to her ever since she could remember. I laughed reminiscently with her at the happy parts—even though I hadn’t been there, I felt, in that moment, like I had--I gave her hand a gentle squeeze each time she came to a part about her father, and I ran my fingers through her hair comfortingly when she talked about her mother. We lost track of time—I’m not sure how long we sat there, probably an hour or so—but neither of us really cared. Actually, it felt too short. With each story she told me about her childhood, it felt like a puzzle was coming together. Or like the fog was slowly clearing out of a window, although I hadn’t noticed it was hazy in the first place. Somehow, Rose began to look more beautiful the more I knew about her, the more she uncovered about her past. And I didn’t want it to stop, not even when she started talking about her dad’s drinking problem. I guess I was beginning to realize that Rose’s past, even the ugly parts, was a part of her. And I loved every part of her.

Although I didn’t want her to stop talking, I didn’t mind the way she ended. I thought she would stop at the parts that I knew, like the day I threw a shoe at a bear, but she didn’t. Instead, I listened as she recounted every main thing that had happened since we met, even though I knew how it all turned out. "...then, I was laying in your lap, in the same tree you carried me from. And I knew, right then and there, that you were the only person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I realized I didn't need to hide anything from you. And I realized that I love you more than anything or anyone in the entire world. Then, you smiled," she said. And without even thinking about it, I did. My lips stayed like that, curled into a smile, even when they met hers. And I swear, at that moment, as we kissed in that tree, we were infinite.

An idea hit me so suddenly that I jolted a little and almost jostled Rose off the branch. I didn’t know why, but it felt right. I wiggled away from Rose a bit so I could get down. ”Hang on a second,” I told her, beginning to climb down from the branch. My feet hit the forest floor with a thud and I craned my neck to look at Rose. ”I wanna show you something. Stay here, I’ll be right back,” I called up at her, hoping she wouldn’t be upset at me for leaving. It was only for a minute—my house was just past the fence and across the road. As long as she stayed put, she would be fine. There was something I needed to pick up from the house. Without waiting around for objections from Rose, I took off running towards my house at full speed, a weird look of determination on my face as my sneakers thrummed against the pavement.

It didn’t take long to get home—I can run pretty fast, when I want to. The screen door slammed behind me as I bolted into my room and picked up my guitar from the corner near the window. After considering it for a moment, I also threw on a hoodie and grabbed one of my bazillion unfinished carvings off of my nightstand. When I ran back outside, dodging a few doorframes on my way, I caught my mom shooting me a questioning look. But whatever question she was thinking, it stayed unanswered. I just sort of gave her this nod of acknowledgement and continued to run out the door and into the woods.

I stood at the base of the tree for a moment, all leaned over and huffing and puffing. Somehow, it hadn’t occurred to me until now that that much running made you tired. Even so, I managed to climb into the tree again after resting my guitar against the trunk so I could use both hands. Once I was up, I pulled the instrument into the tree and made my way back up to the branch Rose was sitting on. I started absentmindedly tuning its five strings as I caught my breath. ”Have you ever heard me play guitar?” I asked her thoughtfully.

she stood by as it fell apart
separate rooms and broken hearts
but I won't be the one
to let you go

{yeah, I didn’t know what to do, so there. at least it didn't take a long time see}

text
speech
thoughts
others' speech
lyrics

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/color][/size][/center]

"i shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
i lift my lids and all is born again.
(i think i made you up inside my head.)"

mcmarti99

guest

to the ::edge:: of all we've ever known Jan 17, 2013 9:03:50 GMT -5

Post by mcmarti99 on Jan 17, 2013 9:03:50 GMT -5

Two shadows standing by the bedroom door
No, I could not want you more
Than I did right then
As our heads leaned in

[/size][/i][/font][/center]

Trey's body felt like it was shocked with electricity against mine. I could feel the jolting of his lips against mine. He moved away from me, leaving my body with a cold emptiness I did not like one bit. I reached out to him, trying to stop him from whatever he was doing, but he told me to stay, and that he'd be right back. Then, he scaled down the tree, not waiting for me to stop him. As soon as the sound of his feet faded, the sounds of nature replaced the pounding of my heart in my ears. Birds sang choruses to their songs, and cicadas sang out their buzzing melody. The tree's swayed in the wind, causing stray leaves to flutter all around me. It was just like life before Trey. I was alone in the woods, with nothing but the gentle sway of trees and the songs of birds and cicadas to calm me. Back when I lived with my dad, this was enough to bring a state of serenity upon me, and I would linger in the woods as long as I possibly could. But now that I wasn't accustomed to loneliness anymore, the silence of the forest was far too much to bare. I didn't get down from the tree though, knowing Trey wouldn't be happy if I slipped and fell.

I moved my hand along the bumpy bark, trying to pretend it was Trey's hand. They both shared rough callouses and marks from being carved, but Trey's hands were soft and warm where the tree was the same temperature as the nature around it. It was nothing special against the other trees. Like the cherry trees, which had beautiful blooms that fluttered to the ground, covering the autumn forest floor with flowers. Or the apple trees, which gave out juicy fruit and simple times. The oak tree, had nothing to give. Tree wise, it wasn't all that important or special. But in the depths of Trey's and my hearts, this tree marked the beginning for us. It marked the ending of our mistakes and the place where we loved one another the most. The tree was special, in our minds and hearts. It was where Trey changed my life, and I changed his.

The almost silent drumming of Trey's feet against the forest floor brought me back to the real world. He leaned over at the base of the tree, gasping for breath. His back moved up and down quickly as he leaned over to catch his breath. Before I was totally convinced he could, he climbed up the tree and sat down next to me. He'd brought something with him. I'd seen it in his room before, but I didn't know what it was. Trey started plucking the strings and strange sound came out of the thing. I stared at it questioningly, not perplexed at how the sound came out. The thing was shaped beautifully, and carved out of wood. But this wood was smooth and not rough. It was skinny towards the top and fatter at the bottom. There was a hole in the middle of it and I wondered if it was for some kind of storage. Then Trey played all five strings at once, and the sweetness of the noise that met my ears was almost overwhelming. He looked at me, his breath back to normal.

”Have you ever heard me play guitar?” So it was a guitar. I shook my head. "I don't think I've ever even seen a.. guitar."[/b] I tried the word out on my tongue a few times. Trey sat the guitar so that the skinnier side was above my lap, and the curve in the bottom half rested on his thigh. His hands moved up the skinny part. I pulled the guitar back a little and kissed each one of his fingers before letting him continue. He looked at me one more time, before his attention was fully on the guitar.[/size]

Hold my breath as we're moving in
Taste your lips and feel your skin
When the time comes
Baby don't run
Just Kiss me
Slowly.