The conflagration of hidden dreams. (open)
Dec 28, 2010 18:45:19 GMT -5
Post by vividwriter on Dec 28, 2010 18:45:19 GMT -5
Alleanne Lythe.
Dreams are tricky. So is delusion. You can delude yourself into thinking you don't dream something, but those dreams can be triggered by the slightest touch of memory. For instance. Here I am, sitting here, chatting it up with my gal friends. Pretending to be carefree and, well let's face it, stupid. Maybe I am stupid. Maybe I am deluding myself to the point where I can't tell delusion from the real me.
But I'm thinking this so I must still be me. I think.
Anyway, back to my "for instance". I tell myself, my dreams are to be happy, and unhurt. The only way to stay unhurt is to deny reality. But in reality, those are my dreams. They just aren't the whole of my dreams. No, stop. Alleanne, I think to myself, you cannot remind yourself of that dream. It will only bring pain.
So I jump right back into the shallow chat with my shallow friends. I must be shallow, or I wouldn't hang out with them all the time, but thoughts like these are quickly pushed out of mind.
"See you tomorrow!" I bid my friends farewell as I head to my last class. They laugh and wave back, bidding me farewell in return. I smile and turn towards class. Manufacturing. I really hate this class, but it happens to be the last one, so I can tell myself I'm almost done at the very beginning of class.
I stride in, and take my usual seat. Arranging my books, I get ready for class. The professor draws a diagram of some kind of machine.
After class, I get ready to leave. Pack up my things, and with a sigh of relief, head toward the door. But a voice stops me. A friendly, unfamiliar voice. I don't turn around. Who could it be?
Dreams are tricky. So is delusion. You can delude yourself into thinking you don't dream something, but those dreams can be triggered by the slightest touch of memory. For instance. Here I am, sitting here, chatting it up with my gal friends. Pretending to be carefree and, well let's face it, stupid. Maybe I am stupid. Maybe I am deluding myself to the point where I can't tell delusion from the real me.
But I'm thinking this so I must still be me. I think.
Anyway, back to my "for instance". I tell myself, my dreams are to be happy, and unhurt. The only way to stay unhurt is to deny reality. But in reality, those are my dreams. They just aren't the whole of my dreams. No, stop. Alleanne, I think to myself, you cannot remind yourself of that dream. It will only bring pain.
So I jump right back into the shallow chat with my shallow friends. I must be shallow, or I wouldn't hang out with them all the time, but thoughts like these are quickly pushed out of mind.
"See you tomorrow!" I bid my friends farewell as I head to my last class. They laugh and wave back, bidding me farewell in return. I smile and turn towards class. Manufacturing. I really hate this class, but it happens to be the last one, so I can tell myself I'm almost done at the very beginning of class.
I stride in, and take my usual seat. Arranging my books, I get ready for class. The professor draws a diagram of some kind of machine.
After class, I get ready to leave. Pack up my things, and with a sigh of relief, head toward the door. But a voice stops me. A friendly, unfamiliar voice. I don't turn around. Who could it be?
