Bethany Saber // 12

Bethany's brother Smokey once described her as having eyes that were entirely too big for her face, and he wasn't far off the mark. She has huge grey eyes that seem to take up the majority of the space on her face, giving her the appearance of youth. Bethany is fifteen years old, but she looks significantly younger due to the fact that she has the wide-eyed and innocent appearance that children seem to carry with them everywhere they go. There is always a smile in those eyes, her face seeming to swell with gentle, happy kindness, and it is perhaps for this reason that Bethany has such a naive appearance. In fact, if you were to purely judge the book by its cover, you would undoubtedly think that the primary personality trait of Bethany Saber was pure, radiating goodness and innocence. More than anything, this appearance comes from Smokey trying to keep his sister out of the world and sheltered from it. It is because of this that Bethany doesn't have the standard layer of grime that can be found in District Twelve, and she is usually clean due to regular, warm baths. Bethany knows, and appreciates, that her brother makes a lot of sacrifices for her. Without those sacrifices she would probably be just another girl from the Seam, struggling to survive in a world that wanted nothing to do with her.

In spite of the general thinness that is often the mark of someone who has had the misfortune of being born in District Twelve, Bethany has a fairly sturdy appearance. When she was still very small, her mother described her as delicate, like glass; something that would break. Instead, Bethany grew up into a sturdy, muscular girl with a good body for endurance. Instead of having skin that is stretched thin over her bones, Bethany has the appearance of someone who has been fasting for some time for health reasons, even if she is not, herself, particularly healthy. The lack of nutrition shows in the thinness of her hair and the slightly dusky appearance of her skin. Overall things could be worse. If Beth can be strong and have to sacrifice her appearance, she's willing to do that. Even if appearances aren't important to Beth, most people who know her consider her to be relatively pretty.

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Bethany Saber is the personification of the very spirit of hope. However dark it may be outside, however full the air is with coal dust and smoke, she believes that the future will be wonderful and bright. From the outsider's perspective, one might naturally assume that she believes the world is a beautiful place in which to live. She is one of those people who always has a ready smile for everyone she meets and who is more than happy to spend a moment talking to the beggar on the street. Beth is supremely aware of the needs of others and cheerfully gives to them at every opportunity, even when it means one less meal for herself. Although her father makes fun of her for her generous nature, Bethany has continued to do everything that she can to make District Twelve a pleasant place to live. You might say that she gives off the vibe that she still believes in faeries and unicorns.

Giving is just the way that Bethany deals with a lot of other internal battles that she fights. Her mother's disability has been a course of constant frustration for Bethany, who loves both of her parents with all of her being, but who also feels as though they could do better than what they do. Since there is nothing that she can do for them, Bethany has turned toward doing for others as a substitute. Her mother's rejection has been a serious source of angst for Bethany, but she has hidden that angst beneath layers of sweetness that she hopes invite others to trust her in spite of the fact that she doesn't trust herself. It's something that she's working on, but Bethany has always felt inadequate next to her do-all brother who has spent his life protecting and defending her in spite of their parents.

Throughout his entire life, Smokey has done for her, and although he thinks that Bethany is unaware of it, she is completely appreciative of all of his efforts. Bethany only wishes that she could do more, and be more, so that she could support her parents and give them more of what they need. If she could save them, somehow she could save herself. But in her family, she has always been at the bottom of the totem pole, the one who everyone looked after and never given much responsibility. Even if that is the reason that Bethany has held onto such hope throughout her life, she doesn't see it as a blessing, but as a curse. I could be stronger than all that, if I wanted to be. But Smokey would never let me think for myself!

But in spite of how hard Bethany tries to present a perfect facade to the world around her, inside she's a constant wreck of fear and repression. From a young age her father has been molesting her and she's never spoken up to her brother. In fact, Beth has become a very skilled liar when it comes to the circumstances of her past, and she does her best to hide them from people. That's the reason that she self-harms, covering her shoulders and upper arms (and sometimes neck) with scratches from fingernails that Smokey tries to keep cut as closely down as he can to prevent her from doing it. Even in the hot summers of District Twelve Bethany tries her best to keep her arms covered with her clothing so that others can't see her secret shame.

To put it simply, Bethany is an extreme contradiction in terms, presenting one view to the outside world when there is a great deal of inner torment for her.

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"When I was just a few months old, my mother had a serious accident on her way home from working one day. Her foot became stuck in a deep hole and whens she fell, she also hit her head hard. One time I heard her say that it was spinal damage that caused her to not be able to get up out of bed when we needed her, but sometimes I'm not sure that it isn't just an excuse. That's what Smokey says it is anyway, at least when he thinks that I'm not listening to him talkin' about Mama. Anyway, I never really hadda mom, not the way that most kids my age do. Daddy mighta been okay, but after a while he started drinkin' an' then... I guess you could say that we lost him too, to the white liquor. My older brother Smokey's done mosta the raisin' me, which would be fine 'cept I kinda feel like he should have his own life. Or at least that he should have had his own life. Yesterday he got reaped, an' he's dead now. He knows it just as well as I do, cause he told me when we were sayin' goodbye. The Games are gonna take 'im from me the way they take a lot of our children from District Twelve. I guess it's the same everywhere, but it don't feel the same when it's your brother who's goin' into the Arena. Not when it's your place where you live with no trainin' an' nobody to help you out. It ain't like we don't all know about the Careers anyway, right?

"I don't wanna lose my brother, I ain't gonna lie. I'm scared'a watchin' him die on that television screen when we gotta watch it at school cause they're always playin' somethin' this time'a year. But I guess I feel kinda guilty cause what's really got me scared is bein' alone with my dad. It's like I said about my Mama an' it ain't like she's gonna protect me from him if he gets his... urges. When Smokey's 'round I can say 'no' cause he shares a room with me an' Daddy can't get in so much then. But sometimes I think I'd rather get reaped than have it happen again. I wish I could take Smokey's place. Maybe I shoulda volunteered for Aisley. That way I coulda gone in with Smokey an' both our lives would be over 'stead'a just his. But what would happen if in the end it was just us, the two of us, an' one hadda kill the other? No, I can't think about it. I don' wanna think about it.

For me, I guess this is the beginin' of the end. Life has been one thing after another after another. But if Smokey's already dead (an' I know he's gonna be, even if Twelve has been winnin' Games in the last few years), I don' know if there's much here left for me. It's like... Whatdid Mama call it that one time? It's like an amputation. He's the other part'a me. Im'ma gonna keep on doin' what I do an' hope that maybe somehow it helps Smokey. We're poor people, but people like his humor an' the stuff I do. If I can't win him any favors an' sponsors, then maybe his humor will."

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Did I seriously lose all my comments? Rawr!

Mixed perspective (third and second) is intentional. I realize that the history is mostly current, but I felt like anything else would have been too graphic given the perspective. If you want more information Smokey's bio might be helpful. Dialect is also intentional.

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