Don't look him in the eye! [open]
Sept 21, 2010 20:31:34 GMT -5
Post by Eastern Orange on Sept 21, 2010 20:31:34 GMT -5
That cat is still following me.
I look over my shoulder at the fat black cat that had been following me around since the day I offered him some scraps. I know they say never to feed a stray, but my heart goes out to the poor starving creatures. Maybe I do it because at least I'm helping something. I feel as powerless as a guppy in a huge koi pond, watching The Capital slowly break the will of their people. When I feed a poor hungry soul, like that fat black cat, I don't feel so helpless. I feel like my existence has meaning. I face forward and continue me slow trek through the residential area of the seam.
Around me, starved children scurry past, their soot covered faces turned down and away from me. When I first came here to be a peacekeeper a year back, their attitudes hurt me, but with time I got used to it, and even counted on it. I came to understand their fear. It was not me they were hiding from, it was my uniform. Or at least that's what I told myself at night while I lay awake in bed unable to sleep for the 3rd night in a row.
The adults were braver then the children, some daring enough to murmur a greeting with adverted eyes, before scuttling by. Others even braved a smile, albeit a painful and obviously forced one. At least it was a smile.
I stifled a yawn, and shook my head and shoulders briskly, trying to wake myself up. How is it that I fail to be tired at night, but once the sun's rays warm the sky and its time for work, I'm immediately tried? Is my own body punishing me for being a peacekeeper? I don't abuse my power in anyway, in fact, I have never even reported someone. Why the punishment form my body? Didn't the people of the seam punish me enough?
I hadn't become a peacekeeper to hurt people, or be a Capital lackey. I did it to train my mind in body in the ways of combat, things needed to bring down The Capital. The rebels, most of them are nothing more then ordinary citizens with no training outside of their district industries. What fighting skills did the people of District 5 have, or say 12? Maybe they have passion and bravery, but The Capital has hover crafts, and guns. I thought I could help them...until I witnessed first hand what The Capital did to traitors and their families. That took the wind out of my sails real fast. I can't risk getting caught and having my sisters and mother punished for my dissent. I'd have to watch, helpless, as The Capital tore away the pride of the people, piece by piece.
I hold my head high, as I take my station at the end of the street. I throw my shoulders back, and stand ramrod straight staring down the to the end of the street. The civilians stiffen under my gaze, and quickly make their way down side streets to escape my view, practically running in their haste. I want to call out to them, tell them I'm on their side, but the word don't come out. I feel a heaviness on my shoulders, and I'm suddenly very tired of my whole situation.