LYANNA DOYLE / D8 - FINISHED

" here's the thing
we started out friends,
it was cool, it was all pretend
yeah yeah, since you been gone "


One day I tried to fly, I sat on the edge of my window and jumped into the air, wildly waving my arms as I tried to propel myself into higher, as I tried to reach heaven with sprawled fingers that were spread towards the sky. It didn't work, I was falling and I knew it. My stomach dropped and I couldn't let myself look at the ground for fear of what I would see. I was convinced that death would just catch me in it's arms and carry me away to hell. He would tell me that I was a naughty girl for jumping, that I deserved punishment. Instead I hit the grass and the air left from my chest and I heard my foot snap. I was alive, but I knew then, in that moment; heaven could never be reached by the like of mortals.

We were all but to weak, to underserving, to even see the gate to heaven as out heart still pounded. We were all stuck in hell. And as I lied on the grass, with a throbbing ankle and blood-soaked teeth; this is all I could think about.

As a human it is hard for me to appreciate myself, I only see imperfections everyone. Every scrap of dust is bad, it isn't meant to be there, staining the world. President Snow and the others, they're all to blind to see the truth in front of them, all of those power-hungry men and woman, they are all as ignorant as a bride with her veil over her perfectly crafted face. They'll stay on this 'earth' forever, they'll never leave. And they will all suffer countless deaths for the deeds they have done.

You see, they can only be defined by the word evil, and only evil creatures stay in hell forever.

- - -

They say that when a candle is lit, it is God in all of his glory, that he is sitting in the same room with you and he is listening to you. All the candles, so many people use them purely for lighting purposes, not even aware that God blesses their houses all the while. And they cannot even say a prayer in thanks to all the good he does. I say a prayer for every candle that lights my humble abode though, every lit piece of wax that has a halo of gold surrounding it. It is only respectful to the one that gave me life, he deserves it so.

I've been collecting candles since I was a small child, only able to be mesmerized by the beauty of them at a small age, completly unaware to the power that they had in belief and love for our good Lord. At the age of five though I saw a breakthrough, I saw him in one of the balls of lights and he spoke to me through flickers of the flame.

Oh how I wanted to touch the orange flag as it waved back and fourth, how I didn't care about the pain as long as I could find God in the candle, as though maybe I could find my way to his secret world up in heaven, all through the little ball of light. Like a small portal, leading to another world far beyond what is considered possible.

I never got there though, just like how I didn't fly there on snow-white wings. All I did was become burned, stained and blackened fingers and a light smile. And once again, my theory w as confirmed. There was no way to heaven as long as a heart was beating, as long a soul still walked upon the grass.

- - -

It takes all my mind to remember the details of my childhood, the crinkled smile that I used to possess and the blue eyes that I was always so envied for by other people. I still have blue eyes, dark eyes with rings around the edges and a small black dot in the middle. When I was a small girl though, they tell me that my eyes were the color of ice, nearly white and complete with darker stripes adding depth to each ridge in the iris.

I cannot remember any of this, none. All I remember are the candles, lining my windows and lighting up my fragile face. I cannot recall me first birthday party or a Ratmas before the one last year. So many people say how they enjoyed this and that when they were a small child, I can't remember what I used to enjoy so much. I liked light, I have always liked light.

And to be honest with everyone, that's enough for me, I need nothing more than the light and the love of my Lord from that unreachable heaven.

" you're dedicated
you took the time,
wasn't long 'till I called you mine
yeah yeah, since you been gone "