Laken Eden of District 8 {Finished}

Febuary 3rd

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Dear Dairy,

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Everything came crashing down when little John was born, and since then we've been starving. Look, I know that this is never going to be discovered by anyone important, but I don't know whats going to happen to my family and I want some one to know our story, I need some one to. But obviously, if you're reading then you want to be reading some book. I know that at this point your struggling to read this scribble in the margins of this book, but I don't care. I'm going to tell my story either way.

I was born on October 4th. My parents say that they were ecstatic, in fact I think they were. I can clearly imagine their faces, bright and hopeful, young and new to parenthood. I can imagine their faces, but just imagine, but all I really know is that they choose the strange name of Laken for me. They say that my face, in the words of my father, "little brown eyes light up, and her little lips curled into a little smile," upon the hearing of my name. Unfortunately, my parents are liars, because I know that I forced them to get married. They were broke without each other, and broke together. I know that their marriage is a huge attempt to save my childhood.

My parents pretended that they loved each other, until I was about 8. By then my hair had grown out into a blond crown, and I was still cute. They often kissed in front of me almost every morning, and made sure I knew that they were "in love". When I hit 8 though, it was an kiss here and then an hour of fighting. I knew by 9 that they were completely fake, and just trying to keep use off the street. Then the unimaginable, my mother was pregnant. I know that we were going to go under. What little we had was gone, and my father wasn't even looking for a job. By the time John was born I was sleeping on a ratty blanket on top of a hard floor. Our family was broke. My little world had came crashing down around me. I was not protected from every issue my parents faced. And now I had to face it.

I grew up believing that all of it was John's fault. I knew that I was the one who brought my parents together even though they didn't want to be, but he was the one who tore them apart. After his birth, everything was over, my dad left, leaving John, my mom, and me to support ourselves. I dropped out of school to do odd jobs around the town to help my family, when my mother was home to watch John. At 10 I was running around begging, but I wasn't going to force John to do that at 5. I made sure that he went into school. I was 13 and I wanted to go to school, but I couldn't. My mother was going back to work, but I still needed to help out. There would be no school for me. I tried to be a good maid, but it wasn't working out. No one held onto me for more than a few weeks.

Being just 13, I had never even heard about financial issues, but I was born to adapt, and this was just one of those times. I quickly became great with numbers, always tallying how much had gone to beer that week. See my mother had picked up a habit of always coming home from her "job" drunk, making it a very suspicious topic. However, I never asked questions and, like I said, began to keep track of what she had spent and how much we had earned. I kept this up for a while, tallying and subtracting and adding, but I was determined to keep us from being dollars away from broke. I kept on the search for a job as a maid, but no one was hiring. I was broken when I found the library, ready to lean over and give up.

A little nook inside the back of District 8. I found it on one of my searches for a new boss. There it was, just sitting there gathering dust, I kind of stumbled in. Obviously you know the place, as it is where I am writing this is inside one of the books. I hope that you all realize how it means to me that you've read so far.

The first time I visited the library, I saw how dusty the books were, and bolted... I couldn't clean this place. But curiousity got the better of me the second time and I ventured back inside. A kind man greeted me, I kind of nodded at him, and looked at the books... a row of stories waiting to be read. I wandered towards a random one, and snatched it off the shelf as if it was a crime. When I opened up the book, I saw rows and rows of words, all little soldiers ready to fight with my concentration. I struggled through the first sentences, then decide right then and there. I was going to learn to read. So began the biggest part of my life. I lied to my mother, claiming to have a job, and went to the library everday. I then began to notice the other kids....

Now, I want you to take a moment to watch the others around you, just for a second. Now, do you see? Do you see the way the rumors spread? See how they do homework together? Did you watch as the girls and boys began to interact? See how they talk to each other? Lie to each other? Scream for attention without ever opening their mouth? I want to be them. Is it sick that I just want to be them?

They began to take over my life, those other kids. I wanted to go and join them, go and walk over to them and just say hi. But I know that they would be disgusted by my shear awkwardness. I hope that some day I will be able to go to them and join them, but until then I have to watch and learn. Learn how to become a kid.

Until next entry, which may or may not be on the next page of this book depending on when you read this, goodbye.

Face Claim: Bridgit Mendler
Lyrics: Paperback Writer- Beatles
Writing Style: Diary Entries