Bleeding Tears (open, post-reaping)

"Not fair."

I looked over at the girl next to me, and realized that it was the same girl that I had, just hours before, been playing with. Mindy. This day had turned out so wrong, getting Reaped, watching my sister take my place.

"Damn right."

I usually have a policy of not swearing, even mildly, but today was a special occasion, as my life had just been torn apart at the seams. I had pretty much just died. And so had my sister. Trying to push thoughts of the Games from my head, and to try to keep the only currently normal piece of my life from leaving me, I asked Mindy.

"I bet you're glad that you weren't picked for the Games"

Bet she comes back alive? Really? Because Alexis would bet otherwise. It's about a 1/24 chance. That's about 4% chances. Not good, not good at all. If she survives the bloodbath on the first day, then she might have a chance, but that's not that likely. Sami was strong, but not that strong.

"It'd be her that'd be rich, not us."

Stupid pessimism Alexis thought. Of course she'd be nice enough to share, especially when her refusal would most likely kill our family.

"Not that she wouldn't be nice enough to share with us."
Alexis smiled
"She's not that mean!"

"Say, how about we finish our game?"

The game. The game The Games.
That's all that Alexis could think about.

What would happen?

Would Sami die?

The only Game that Alexis could think about was the Games.

Not some silly role-play that she and another girl had just invented for the fun of it.

"No, I..."

Alexis was getting too emotional about this, drowning in her sadness, and the unfairness of what had just happened.
Alexis had a very high breaking point but this was just coming too... close.

Feeling Mindy's comforting hug, brought Alexis back to her senses.

"It just feels like I'm just kind of lost in this horrible mess, you know?"

Of course she didn't know, Alexis thought, she hasn't just been through the hell I have.

"It's just... so much too... deal with."

Alexis broke into tears again, not caring about holding herself anymore.

"My sister's going to die, my mom is already dead."

Holding onto Mindy like she was her only link to reality, Alexis cried.

"It just seems do unfair, you know?"

Extricating herself from Mindy, Alexis pulled her coat around herself. All of a sudden, the world seemed so cold.

Alexis tried to pull back her tears, barely succeeding.

Alexis gulped for air.

As Alexis lapsed back to tears, and in doing so, felt almost unbearably weak.

Gulping again, Alexis realized something. I have to endure this. she thought. For her, for everyone. How can she support herself if we don't even think she can win?