sow kulnei {district one} fin

we'll do it all
everything
on our own
we don't need
anything or anyone

( N A M E ) Sow Jylik Kulnei
( A G E ) Seventeen
( G E N D E R ) Male
( D I S T R I C T / A R E A ) District One

if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me
and just forget the
world

( A P P E A R A N C E )

Sow is generally good-looking - aren't most people in District One? He is tall, but that's it, that's the thing people use to describe him; "He's that tall kid right?" Is he that average-looking that he's known for being six foot five? He definitely not known for his muscle - he has almost no meat on his bones, not that he's weak, he's just not strong. He can run fast - not long, though - he doesn't have much stamina. He can only run for a few minutes or train for a few minutes or lift for a few minutes until he gets tired. Yes, he is a career, but it takes more than stabbing dummies with spears to conquer stamina. Sow weighs about one-hundred and thirty pounds, he's really light, even with his massive height (that rhymes). He doesn't eat much, doesn't have to. He barely gets hungry, only at night and in the morning, and occasionally in-between. Sow is skinny, but you can't count his ribs.

Sow has brown hair that really compliments his almost-pale skin. Even though Sow spends a lot of his time outside, his skin still lacks melanin and is covered with dozens of freckles. Soft though, his skin is soft. The silliest part is that he puts on lotion! Honestly, though, his feather-soft skin is to die for.

i don't quite know
how to say how i feel
those three words
are said too much
they're not enough

Anyways, back to his hair.

His hair is a dark brown (and only brown), which just about reaches the tip of his eyebrows and hangs over his ears. It's not exactly wavy, but it isn't straight. Usually, in the morning, it's a mess. Unlike his skin, Sow's hair isn't very soft - even directly after showers - the strands always manage to feel a little hoarser than his voice. Sow never straightens his hair, or blow-drys it, so he doesn't know what would make his hair so rough. The green of pine-trees is similar to the green of his round, large eyes. They seems to twinkle in the light; "They're puppy-dog eyes," his grandma would say "they fit you so well." Sow has thin, arched eyebrows, and short, thin eyelashes (you can barely see them). He has perfect eyesight, and he would never need glasses - even when he gets old and wrinkly. His nose is small and petite (much unlike a dog's), and sometimes smells ugly smells, and he doesn't like it, it makes his eyes water. His ears and nose are like identical twins - except for the fact that they are two different things. The ears on his head are also small, and seem to not always hear the prettiest sounds.

Sow's cheek-bones are sullen, empty. They seem have grown into ovular craters in his mouth that only like to disappear when his mouth is open. His jaw is crooked on the bottom, but his teeth aren't anything like a box of crayons - more like a box of rice. He has a long neck, not giraffe-long, but four inches or so. At the end of his neck, you can easily see his collar-bone; very prominent. His shoulders seem to want to be rivers - only sloping so slightly down that no one can notice, yet just enough to get the water flowing. His arms and legs are long (they have to be if he's so tall) and very stick-like and thin. His feet are abnormally large, and his toes are hairy. But, his nails are perfect, cleaned, groomed. Did you know that guys are supposed to get manicures and pedicures too? His palms are big, but his fingers very skinny and long. His nails are free of dirt, grime, anything. They are perfect.

if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me
and just forget the
world

( P E R S O N A L I T Y )

Sow is a generally happy kid. He never looks at the negative things - there's really not that much in his life that's bad in the first place - at tends to think positive. What isn't there to be happy about? He grows up in the wealthiest district, his family is doing fine, and nobody he was really ever close to ever died. People he knew died, but not someone he was close to. Sow had always gone out of his way to make conversation with people he met (and especially if they were cute or they shared a common interest). If you were to meet him on the street, you'd probably think of him as an (overly) happy, kind-hearted kid. Because that's what he is. The one thing that changes people's opinions of him is his sexuality, Sow is gay. So what? A lot of people are gay but deny it, at least Sow has the nerve to admit it. The parents of Sow don't really care - they're obviously a bit upset - but not having grandchildren couldn't be the worse thing their son ever did. Sow is an only child, so they have no other chance of getting grandchildren. Sow realized at a very young age was gay - but he came out when he was fourteen, and only had one boyfriend since then - and he never talks about him. Trust me, Sow isn't one of those gays that make a big deal of it, he only tells people he knows well - and he isn't one of the gays that act feminine. He just likes boys.

Honestly, though, Sow doesn't care how anyone sees him except for himself.

Sow is an extremely good singer - but isn't creative enough to make his own music, since he can't write it. He just does covers of songs he heard playing in the background of restaurants or old songs that he hears on his mom's records. He doesn't sing with anyone, he just sings to himself when he's alone. Being too shy to ever show his talent out to anyone, he had never entered school talent shows or sang to his friends. He's just too embarrassed. (Sow also has another 'profession'.) The biggest advantage of being in District One is that Sow has the opportunity of being a career - why not? If you have a choice to be prepared to die and not be prepared to die, the first one sounds best. So at least five times a week, Sow heads out of the house for a few hours to train. Sow's favorite weapon is a knife - he feels like when he's holding something closer to him he's in control, he's stronger - and he usually kills dummies with knives. Sometimes he switches up weapons to get some more experience.

Sow isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and can be a ditz at times. He often hears snide remarks such as "Are you sure you aren't a natural blond?" or "Good job," - adding a smirk - "bobo." Although those kids that dis him everyday on his intelligence, it's not really that funny. Sow has dyslexia. What you would see as Where is the party? Sow sees Whara is tha berty? He gets one letter mixed with another - tossed upside down or sideways like a bowl of spaghetti - and he hates it. At first, he would break down in the middle of class crying when he couldn't understand what's on the board. Although Sow improved on his problem, he still has a lot of trouble while reading and writing, and he tries not the let this affect his overall grade.

forget what we're told
before we get too old
show me a garden
that's bursting into
life

Sow can't really trust people that well, because the first time he actually opened his heart up to someone, they crushed him into millions of pieces, and he just hasn't had the same charisma, but he's still kind and happy. Sow had decided that if anyone had tried to get to his heart, the only way their getting there is showing that their loyal to him. But usually they do something annoying and Sow freaks out at them. And, he can't keep secrets, because Sow can't lie. Not that he wants to, it's just he has a guilty conscious. The boy knows that lies are always caught - so what's the point of lying? Never once had Sow ever told a lie (on purpose). He had surely told a lie before - everyone had - Sow just can't remember when.

Sow can be a very jealous person at times. Whether someone looks better than him, or can do something better than him, or is richer than him, or is smarter than him, or is stronger than him, or is more popular than him, Sow gets green with envy. Sow is always comparing himself to others, thinking of how he can change himself to make him better - but that never happens - in the end, Sow realizes that he is a nice, well-rounded person and shouldn't change anything.

When someone welcomes Sow into their circle of friends, he instantly becomes their follower - their pawn in which is only there for their own, personal use. It takes more of Sow's fingers to count all of the times he had felt like he had friends to only be back-stabbed by them, which is another reason he is insecure - but that usually happens to a lot of people. So is just a fool and believes that if someone says they like him, they actually like him. Since he had never lied, he figures Why would other people?

Sow laughs a lot, and apparently, laughing for fifteen minutes increases your life-span for two days (unless you die of disease or a certain death), so Sow is very curious as to how many minutes (hours, days) total he had laughed. The best jokes to Sow are corny jokes - puns, knock-knock jokes - the classic jokes. Not jokes about dissing people or "a duck and a rabbit walk into a bar" joke. Honestly, though, Sow can't make up any of his own jokes - he's creative (some-what), but he just can't think of anything that hasn't been done before - he is sort of just a messenger to pass on jokes. The only bad part about Sow's school-girl giggling problem is his narcolepsy. Narcolepsy is when a person gets tired (and might fall asleep) because of an excessive amount of a certain emotion - Sow's is laughing. Luckily, Sow's case is very minor. Although Sow doesn't fall asleep, he gets very drowsy, and everything around him is a blur. Besides that, Sow maintains an average sleeping pattern: he usually falls asleep on the early side (around 10) and wakes up depending if it's a weekday or weekend. Almost every night Sow has a dream about one thing or another.

let's waste time
chasing cars
around our heads
i need your grace to remind me
to find my own

Sow's biggest fear is dying. He just wants to know if it's painful. He just wants to know where he goes. He just wants to know if everything he does is a waste if nothing is the same when he dies. He just wants to know if he'll meet everyone else who died. He just wants to when, and how he will die. And he just wants to know if dying is worth all the time he had given into this thing called life (he hadn't figured it out yet). Besides death, Sow is also scared of bugs. The creepy-crawlers give him the shivers - he once had a dream that there were ants in his bed and ever since then - whenever he hears someone mention bugs or he sees a bug he gets creeped out. Sow is also scared of the dark, and although this might sound childish to you, he has his reasons (not really but it sounds epic). He still sleeps with a night-light by his bed. Although Sow isn't scared of them, he just doesn't like tight spaces. Five syllables: claustrophobia. That's really one of the only reasons Sow doesn't like reaping days - it's too tight - and he feels like he can't breathe evenly.

The biggest dream of Sow is to become famous somehow - even if it involves a scandal with some big, famous person. He just wants to be known, he wants to mean something to people. Also, Sow wants to be a victor. He wants to win the games and prove a gay person can win - even though that isn't that hard to prove since a blind person had won, a girl in love with a girl won (and ripred knows what Heron is). Sow just wants to make a name for himself. Sow loves the sound of rain falling, the sight of rain, of the smell of the day after rain. Sow's favorite food are pancakes - it may seem childish, but he really enjoys flapjacks - and eats them everyday for breakfast (pretty much). Sow's favorite smell is the smell of newly-cut grass or of just washed clothes. It would be a miracles if he woke up to a rain-shower the night before and newly cut grass. His favorite color is a pale-green, and his favorite name is Calyndie - he never met someone named that, but it's a pretty name. If he ever adopts a girl, that's going to be her name (for a boy he would probably be named Rewpert).

Sow is pretty proud of himself, knowing that even if he does let people control him, he had never changed himself for anyone.

if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me
and just forget the
world

( H I S T O R Y )

Sow remembers all of the stories that his parents have told him about their relationship. How they met in their last year of school, were good friends for a little bit, and then started going out. They told him about all the parties they had, all of the friends they had, all of the good times they had have. And they also tell him about their marriage. That was pretty much the first step they needed to take for Sow to come along. They told him how his father got on his knees for her, how their wedding was on a summer day by a lake and the leaves were falling and it was perfect. And Sow thinks all of that is a bunch of bullshit. How could they be happy committing their life to someone - it's hard for Sow to imagine - especially when they were dating a few months after they were our of school? Well, they seem like they don't have a problem with it.

Two years after the marriage of Sipinay and Galiah, they had a beautiful bouncing boy named Sow. Yep, that's him. Sow was born on January nineteenth (year of the fifty-third hunger games). The child was nine pounds and seven ounces when he was born (and twenty-one inches). His parents weren't worried at the slightest about his health - and they really shouldn't have been - because he was born with an (some-what) average height and weight (because you can't describe average). When he was a baby, he used to giggle a lot, a lot like now-a-days. He was a very happy baby. When Sow was fourteen months old, he learned how to walk, and four months after that, he said his first word "Sleep." does relate to his life a bit, after-all.

When Sow was three, his grandpa died. He never actually had any memories of his grandpa, but when he got older he had heard tales of him (how kind he was, how everyone knew him, how he drank a lot). To Sow, he sounded like a grand old man. All of his life, Sow has always kind of carved his image around his gpa's - even if he didn't know - Sow's awfully kind, most people knew him (in a good way or a bad way), but Sow doesn't drink at all - he never once touched a harmful substances. Sow was just a half-clone of his grandpa all alone. (Sow doesn't even know this.)

When Sow was five, he started school. They started by learning colors and learning songs and learning fun, silly dances. Later into the school year, they learned to read and to write their names - Sow was struggling already. Not only did he have un-readable handwriting, he could barely write his last name (which turned up to be Som Koinai a few times). At that age, the teachers just thought he needed to learn, but his reading was that good, either. He could read in his mind (in an okay way), but out loud, he could barely stutter one or two words without turning beet-red. His teachers, though - who seemed to be very naive - said "Oh, he just needs some more practice,"- adding a polite smile - "he'll be with everyone else in a year."

forget what we're told
before we get too old
show me a garden
that's bursting into
life

Sow was eight when he first started training. At first, he'd go with his dad and they wouldn't do too much - he would learn the weapons and their names and what they did - he never actually started using them until he was nine, and that was only a club. Even though Sow was a very gangly looking boy (tall and thin for his age), he sure knew how to hit a dummy hard - perhaps he was just letting out all his frustration on training, maybe that's how he concentrates so hard. As Sow got older, he learned to use more dangerous weapons: bow and arrows, spears, knives, tridents. It was at the training center (when Sow was thirteen) that Sow discovered his sexuality.

See, he would go here almost everyday, and there was this boy there - he was handsome, nice, and Sow's best friend at the moment - and they were both thirteen. Sow had never had a girlfriend, and neither has this kid - Yilio. Sow and him would spend day after day after day with each other. And that's when Sow realized he had a crush on the kid. It took Sow months to accept what he was, but he finally did, and he came out to his parents, first. They didn't mind - they would be more upset if he didn't come out and he was gay. But then he had to tell Yilio he was gay, and that he had a crush on him. So, when Sow arrived to train, Yilio was already there. "Yilio, I have to tell you something." Sow said with red cheeks and a dry mouth. "But I don't want it to change your opinion of me." Breathe in. Breathe out. "I'm gay, and I have a crush on you." Embarrassed, Sow left the building and sat outside the building, right next to the door, crying. He waited a hour for Yilio to come out, he never came.

For the next few weeks, Sow avoided training. He would go to restaurants and sit down and order something, eat, and leave. He would sit on local benches and watch the people walk by and sometimes the people he knew sat next to him and talked to him. But Sow never saw Yilio - and he didn't want to. Sow just didn't know what he would say to him if he did see him - would he stutter over his words or apologize? After about a month of hiding, Sow came back to his sense. I'm strong. I can do this. I'm strong. I can do this. I'm strong. I can do this. Sow repeated the words over and over in his head until he got to the building. I'm weak. I can't do this. Sow turned around and started walking away, when he accidentally bumped into someone, Yilio. Oh no. Sow just stared at the boy (who he still had a crush on), waiting for him to say the first words. "Why'd you run away that day, Sow? You never let me respond." Let him respond? "What was I supposed to do - let you lecture me that it's alright and nothing will be different?! I heard that before, and it's a lie! My life will be entirely different! I don't want and extra pound of frustration on my shoulders!" Sow let it out, and it felt good. "I'm your best friend! I would never do that to you, I know you think I'm lying, but I'm not." his words hit Sow strongly - even though they were much calmer. "Sow, I idol you! Everyday I live in guilt because I'm too afraid to tell people the truth about me! Everyone is afraid to be themselves! Except you." Sow was confused, What do you mean, "tell the people the truth about me"? Sow thought it and then spoke it. "What do you have to hide?" "Sow, I'm gay."

Sow and Yilio then started hanging out more, and over two months later, they started dating. They were both fifteen, and they were proud of themselves - feeling like they were the kings of the world for just being themselves. And they didn't hide it either (nor did they put it in everyone's face). But, when Sow turned sixteen, Yilio had a big surprise. "I wanna have sex." Sow was shocked, surprised, really. Sure, they kissed and hugged and cuddled, but Sow didn't want to, he wasn't ready. He wanted to be married first. "Yilio, I can't." Sow spoke, standing up for his morals. Yilio then broke up with up - "I guess I just love you more than you love me." - selfish words. Sow said "Good-bye." and they never talked again. Sow tries sometimes opening his heart up to people, but it never ends well. And as cliche as it is, his break-up got him into music - he needed something to do. So he used all of his money and got a guitar, then, he learned some songs and now he sings for people - at open mics (even though those things are the corniest and no one shows up) or to himself. He's actually not that bad.

Today, Sow lives a pretty normal life, but a few things aren't the same anymore. He still struggles with school-work, and heck of a reputation, although he isn't sure if it's good or bad.

all that i am
all that i ever was
is here in your perfect eyes
that's all i can
see

( C O D E W O R D ) odair
( F A C E C L A I M ) Jacob Young
( T H E M E S O N G ) Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars.

i don't know where
confused about how as well
just know that these
things will never change for us
at all

( A C T I O N S ) a8dba8
( S P E E C H ) 3b8986
( O T H E R S P E E C H ) 79bd9a
( T H O U G H T S / F L A S H B A C K S ) cff09e
( A C C E N T S ) 0b486b

if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me
and just forget the
world

( T E M P L A T E ) This template is made by the one, the only, the Lalia.
( C R E D I T S ) Sow's first name is from Sky. Color credit to skyblue2u @ colourlovers.com

thank
you
for
reading
this