D3 // ZALIE VALOUR {DONE}

"I am going away for a while, But I'll be back don't try and follow me. Cause I'll return as soon as possible. See I'm tryin' to find my place, But it might not be here where I feel safe. We all learn to make mistakes." The words float through the air like they always did. Words seemed to leap from my mouth, more beautiful than a flower blooming, and sweeter than a Mockingjay singing. Everything stopped to listen when I sang. And if they didn’t I would make them. I loved to sing. Singing was my one true passion. And girl like me didn’t have much of a passion for anything, except blood. But when I was singing everything about me changed. I was no longer harsh or cruel a scowl wasn’t plastered to my face. I was actually happy. A rare thing in my life.

I’m not a nice person and that is the why I like it. I’m a bitch with a bad temper and if you happen to cross my path, then screw you. You get in my way then it is your fault if you end up with a broken nose. All your fault. Nothing is ever my fault. I am always right and no matter what you all say you are always wrong and if you don’t believe me then I will make you. Singing is the only time in which I am not a bitch, but then no one talks to me when I’m singing and if they did they would probably end up with a broken arm. I have anger issues and don’t I know it. I wouldn’t be who I am without those little problems that I have. I like to manipulate and seduce. What is the fun in life without a little trouble?

“And run from them. From them. With no direction.” I taste the words before I finally breath them into the air. This song was silly and yet it seemed to fit with everything I was. The very person I am. I’m a liar and thief, I run from my mistakes. I don’t turn and face anything. I’m not a coward I’m actually very brave. I’m just stupid. But I am too scared to admit that. Ohhhh look at me I’m getting all soppy and emotional. Well tough shit! Get over it Princess! I don’t do that kind of things I just steal and run, I lie and manipulate to get what I want. I sing as a release. I have everything to make it all fit, to balance it out. I’m totally bad ass.

I think you guessed it. I’m a really impatient person with serious anger problems. I love blood so much I want to be in the games. I hate my life. I want to kill all those other kids and wear that crown. Then I get to leave this hell hole I live in.

I flick my straight brown hair over my shoulder so it floats around my face. I giggle slightly at the way it tangles just from a slit flick. I loved my hair, it was soft, not too long and not too short. The sun glints off of it, high lightening the strands of blonde that lay beneath the darkness of my heart the brown. I flick my hair once more before racing my fingers through it, and neatly tying it up in a single bony tail behind me. Out of the way. ” We'll run from them. From them. With no conviction.” A smile plays at the corners of my lips, but I force it down. I didn’t smile. I didn’t like it it looked too happy. I didn’t want to feel joy, except for when I sang. Oh wait or when I hit someone. I flex my arms suppressing a yawn. My arms were strong and well-muscled from constant exercise to keep fight and healthy, my body was thin, but in very good condition, coming from the family I came from.

I stop by a window of a shop on the empty street. It was quiet and the lights were out, but I always would look at the few electronics that had to do with music, at the few things in my life that paused pleasure. My brown eyes stare at me, hard and cold. I knew that when I looked at people I always came off as angry and intimidating. I liked it. It scared people off. It told them to piss off. But as I looked further into them, I noticed there was a longing. I blink rapidly, knowing that shouldn’t be there, but as I looked again I could see the longing for the music in the shop the instruments and wants. I scowl, and my eyes instantly turn to normal. Good angry, pissed off me. I stuff my hands into the jacket I wore and walk away from the shop. Leaving my longing aching inside me.

I don’t know if I said this, but I have a family. They are absolutely amazingly awful. I hate them all. I tolerate my parents, because they took me from that darn community home and into a place that is clean, fresh and wonderful. I have another sister who is seventeen, but I think she has lost it, like really lost it. She is mentally not all there, Alna fucking screams when she sees her won shadow. It makes me laugh. I’m horrified to say everyone thinks we are twins just because we are the same age, but with venom I always tell them we aren’t related. Let’s face it who would want to be related to that thing?

My older brothers are just annoying. I love kicking them out of the bathroom in the morning especially that gay douche. Stupid Jago he is such an idiot, he likes other guys! That is just not right. I always tease him about it. It is quiet enjoyable. His twin his really quiet, but I know there is an icy coldness to that boy. I leave him alone, because I do not want to get on his bad side. Even though heis blind, I know it would be no good to stuff around with him. He is dangerous. Something about the way he ignores others, or the mystery that seems to surround his broad shoulders. It makes me shudder. I know it would not be smart to mess with him.

“Cause I'm just one of those ghosts. Traveling endlessly. Don't need no roads. In fact they follow me. And we just go in circles.” I love messing with my little brother the most. He is sixteen and a total asshole. He is really stuck up, and really dumb. No matter what you say he will just stare at you dumbfounded. But to be honest I think it is because he is deaf and blind. It would be pretty hard to know what people are saying to you, or doing to you for that matter. It is quiet fun. Really people should do it more often. My parents are really protective of him, because they know he is really weak. He has nothing to stop people picking on him. He has no defence. That is why it is so fun. But it is also really hard. Because he can’t hear you or see you. It’s a challenge.