Lilian Gray [District 1]

Lilian Gray [District 1] Jul 31, 2012 23:02:29 GMT -5

Post by laurajane on Jul 31, 2012 23:02:29 GMT -5

lilian 'lil' gray

Lilian has always been that girl who most would call ethereally beautiful. She received the perfect mix of genes from both parents to grow into a stunningly beautiful young woman. With long legs and a longer than average torso, by age fifteen she stood taller than all the other girls her age and even most of the boys. There is little fat or muscle on her body and some of her bones seem to be very visible through her skin. Her lower ribs were visible when she wore tight clothing and everything about her seemed so small and stretched. Everyone who knew her thought she was anorexic but the truth of the matter was that she was not allowed to eat enough to gain any weight.

Her hair is a stringy sort of brown color. The individual strands are always dry and stringy but they can hardly be noticed when Lilian puts her hair up into a traditional bun. Her head was reminiscent of a pixie, with it being slightly large and bulbous at the top and getting smaller until it reached her chin. Her eyes are angled and wide set, much like a cat’s, and her irises are a bright shade of blue. She always has a slightly vacant expression in her eyes like she’s dreaming of a whole different world. Her lips are a pale shade of pink and are always pressed tightly into a smile, even when there seems to be nothing to smile about.

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down

Lilian is the kind of girl who has always believed what her father has told her. She is very obedient and wouldn’t break any rules he has set for her, unless she believed there was no other option. Her loyalty to her father is unwavering and she would trust him over anyone else. If her father were taken out of her life, she would not know what to do with herself. Every trait she has came from how he has treated her.

She has never once been angry or depressed in the last half of her lifetime. Before she knew what was going on, she would mope around a lot. Now that she knows her father just wants the best for her, she always puts a smile on her face. She is optimistic beyond belief and sometimes that rubs people the wrong way. People think she is putting on a mask but she genuinely thinks she has nothing to be sad about. She wouldn’t know how to handle being upset or angry because she never feels that way.

Even though Lilian is as happy as a clam, she is also very reserved. She has never spoken to anybody without being spoken to first. She almost fears people in a sense. She tells herself it’s because people can be dangerous but really she fears what her father would do if he caught her talking to people. She flinches around violence and even when people talk too loudly. She is shy when getting to know people but if she ever got to know someone well enough, she would open up a little more.

Sometimes she can be unbearably kind. She has a weak spot for injured and broken things. All she wants to do is help people and do as much good as she possibly can. Her shyness and her desire to do good clash against each other and it’s a coin flip as to which one will win out. Either way, people seem to stop by the flower shop she owns more for her warm smiles than for the flowers.

You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now

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I can’t remember a time when my mother lived with us but Papa says that’s ridiculous because I was old enough to remember it. Perhaps I have blocked the memories out. Papa says that I was four when she left us. When I was old enough to wonder where she went, Papa said she was a very bad woman and the Capitol took her away and made her into an Avox. I ask him what she did but he never wants to tell me. He says it hurts far too much. It must have been something really awful for them to take her because Papa said she used to be a really nice lady.

After my mother left, Papa was really sad for a long time. He stopped going to work, he stopped eating, and he even stopped feeding me. I think he forgot I existed because he was in such shock. I don’t think he forgot me on purpose. For a while, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I tried to cook food on my own but I was little and didn’t know how to do it. I ended up falling into the fire and burning my arm. The one good thing about that was that it made Papa remember I was alive. I still have the scar on my arm but I don’t mind it.

After Papa came back to his senses, everything got a little bit better. He got his old job back and started taking care of himself again. He took care of me too but that wasn’t as important. He had trouble cleaning up after himself, still does, and he doesn’t know how to cook very well so I do all that stuff for him. He yells a lot, especially if I overcook something or do something wrong, but I know it’s just because he knows I can do better. He is so thoughtful like that and I know I can do better too.

He didn’t start hitting me until I turned twelve. I think I started looking too much like my mother and he really can’t handle that. At first, I cried a lot of the time. I didn’t understand then why he would want to hurt me. I cried at school too. They started asking questions so Papa pulled me out and home schooled me. He knows what’s best for me so I don’t mind it. He beats me often when I do not answer him the way he would like, or if I do something bad, but it’s only bad until it’s over. He’s only teaching me how to grow up to be a good young lady. He says he doesn’t want me to be bad like my mother.

We used to live across the District from where we do now but our neighbors grew suspicious of my size and my bruises and Papa didn’t like that. So we sold our house and moved to an apartment above a shop. The shop was ours too. I begged Papa pretty please if we could turn it into a flower shop and he loves me and wants me to be happy so he said yes just for me. If I want to keep the shop, I am to follow his rules exactly or he will have to punish me. Papa is the only person I really ever talk to anymore but that’s alright because we love each other very much.

Safe and sound
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