it was all a dream [ cass ]

A fallen star,
Fell from your heart,
And landed in my eyes,
I screamed aloud,
As it tore through them,

I loved the rain.

I wanted it to rain. My body longed for the cold touch of the water that came pouring down from the sky. I hoped it would come soon. My favourite thing was when it rained. I loved the feel of icy water on my pale white skin, of it racing down my arms and ending at my fingers. Not many people do it anymore, but the best thing is to run around with your head tipped back, and stare at the sky as the rain falls. Droplets clash with every inch of your face, they cling to your skin and if you open your mouth they filter into your body. In those moments I feel the most alive I have ever felt.

I can imagine that my parents stand beside me, as they always did. Hands clasping my own as we raced one another through the water, stepping in puddles, and pausing, always stopping to scoop some of that water up and splash into each other’s faces. Daddy always got me on the face, and he would always end those little expeditions by wrapping his arms around me and swinging me in circles until I was squealing with delight. Mummy would watch on laughing, her eyes bright, and her smile brighter. Sometimes we would stay out there long past the rans fall, just to watch as the earth lived. When the rain fell I truly came alive, but after the rain it was the world I lived in that sprang to life.

The water would flow, and you could hear the soothing rush of streams, birds, and insects hurtled themselves one more into the sky, taking flight and spinning and twirling. Plants seemed to rejoice in their new supply of water and the world seemed happy. My eyes flicker left and right, searching for any sign of a nearing storm, but there had been none for a very long time and it made me worry. I needed those moments. I had run short of them these past few years and any that I could catch I would grab with two hands.

I walk bare foot, up and down the side walk outside of the orphanage, every few seconds I would look upwards, as though in that little time the clouds would come and my respite would fall before me. I was always let down by a perfect clear sky, no trace of a wisp of a cloud.

My pacing is interrupted by a cry, my head snaps around as I try to spot the source of the trouble. My eyes narrow on little form huddled against a wall. Slowly I step closer, my feet making no sound on the pavement, caution had entered into my stance, and I looked at her wearily. She was very young, no older than ten, but I always kept caution when I meet new people. After all my parents had been killed by people they had only just meet. Often I dreamed of death, but then I would always be remained of how much I loved life, and I knew that I did not want to end up with them just yet. No matter how horrid and lacking my life was.

”Little girl? Girl, are you alright?”

And now it's left me blind,
The stars, the moon,
They have all been blown out,
You left me in the dark,
No dawn, no day,