ϟ breaking point // Clover

Two months – just two oddly short months had passed until Tiberius deemed you stable enough to be able to go back h—home? Is the victor house really my home still? There had been an anxious feeling surrounding your return to the massive house, one that stayed with you even as you tried to get back into the swing of things but I never could do just that. Everything was still the same as you had left it: people gone and not even bothering to tell anyone where they were headed, food you made in the morning still sitting on the counter, and just an abnormal quiet filling the house of six people. Each morning you woke up still thinking you were at Tiberius’s house and each morning you were sorely disappointed when you realized you weren’t there. That meant I had to look forward to a day of being alone with my thoughts. Tiberius hadn’t left you out to dry, though; you still met with him every day, whether down at the market or even at his house (which I was slowly beginning to refer to as my real home) and you thoroughly enjoyed the time you spent with him. You smiled, you laughed, you had a genuine time with him and, though you never mentioned it, you were reluctant to leave him. Going back to the victor house meant facing every mistake of your past but staying with Tiberius meant you felt safe, secure, and, more importantly, forgiven.

Ever so slowly the wretched feelings of longing started making its presence known inside your chest again. You found that your eyes lingered on Klaus for a little longer than they should; you watched Jamar and the way he moved and carried himself – things you thought you had gotten over but there they were: temptation right underneath your nose and everything Tiberius had taught you was standing in the way.

The hall is empty and dark, void of any comforting thing. At the end of the corridor stands a door with warm light leaking out from the crack underneath. Klaus is in there – the brother you felt the most longing for, the brother that caused an aching in your chest, the brother I love. But is it really love? Or just lust, as Tiberius had said? Whatever it was you knew that it was wrong, oh so wrong and repulsive. Unnatural. But with each quiet step you take down the hall you feel as if you are drawn to the door and lured by the invisible charm of a boy that is forbidden to you.

Hesitantly you reach out with a trembling hand, grasping onto the brass doorknob and lightly twisting it. The smell of old pages and ink welcomes you far more warmly than you feel Klaus will, and as you open the door wider you see him seated with a book, just as he always is.

You are frozen in the doorway, your green eyes resting their gaze on your brother. The last time you remember actually having contact with him was the day he came back from the games and that was when he kissed me. It was nothing passionate or very meaningful – just a small peck of the lips that was quickly taken over by a long overdue hug. Klaus doesn’t look very different than he did the day he left but there is an overall weathered demeanor he carries himself with that wasn’t there the day before they called his name.

You turn your gaze away, sucking in some air and steeling your will to be in the same room as your tempter.

”Hey Klaus?” You ask quietly, trying to not break the silence of his library. ”Is it alright if I join you?”