{Finished}Pauline McLeay, District 5
Apr 21, 2012 21:51:26 GMT -5
Post by Ray on Apr 21, 2012 21:51:26 GMT -5
Does, Thinks, Says, Hears, Lyrics
Hi. My name is Pauline McLeay. I am a girl, which I hope you would be able to tell. I am thirteen and I live in District 5.
I check my bed for bugs and spiders
though I don’t really believe they’re there
I check my head, it’s getting tighter
I want to stop, but I don’t dare
though I don’t really believe they’re there
I check my head, it’s getting tighter
I want to stop, but I don’t dare
You want to know about my appearance? Well, I have been told I look like a porcelain doll. When I look into the mirror, I don’t see it. I have soft features which makes me look younger than I am. I also have a heart shaped face with pale skin, so I guess that’s where people get it, but that’s where the similarities end. I have dark brown eyes, freckles, and a small downturned nose. I have dark blonde hair that stops a couple inches past my shoulders. It isn’t perfectly straight or anything, it falls in little waves. I have a wide mouth and thin lips. I’m sorry, it sounds like I’m complaining, doesn’t it? I’m really not, what I look like isn’t all that important. Never mind, let’s continue, okay?
Most of my features are smooth, like I said, but my hands and wrists are dry, and sometimes rubbed into a raw pinkish color. It’s not that big a deal, I just wash my hands a lot. I’m just being cautious. I don’t like to bring germs into my house, and you never know what you may have picked up during the day. There’s nothing wrong with cleanliness, right?
I guess I am short, only four feet and nine inches, and I weigh 85 pounds. I am pretty small over all. You can probably tell that because of this, I’m not all that strong. I often need to ask for help lifting heavy things or reaching up to high shelves. I don’t like being dependent on others, but what can I do about it? I try to pull my own weight and do my part, anyway.
Despite now being a teenager, I’m not at all curvy, yet. I am small and straight as a pole. I suppose that contributes to people seeing me as young and fragile, although I try not to appear that way. I may be small, but I don’t like being treated like a little kid. It's unfair, because I want to be older, and to have more responsibility. You may say that people don't judge, but that's untrue. People will automatically treat me like a little child because of my appearance.
Most of my features are smooth, like I said, but my hands and wrists are dry, and sometimes rubbed into a raw pinkish color. It’s not that big a deal, I just wash my hands a lot. I’m just being cautious. I don’t like to bring germs into my house, and you never know what you may have picked up during the day. There’s nothing wrong with cleanliness, right?
I guess I am short, only four feet and nine inches, and I weigh 85 pounds. I am pretty small over all. You can probably tell that because of this, I’m not all that strong. I often need to ask for help lifting heavy things or reaching up to high shelves. I don’t like being dependent on others, but what can I do about it? I try to pull my own weight and do my part, anyway.
Despite now being a teenager, I’m not at all curvy, yet. I am small and straight as a pole. I suppose that contributes to people seeing me as young and fragile, although I try not to appear that way. I may be small, but I don’t like being treated like a little kid. It's unfair, because I want to be older, and to have more responsibility. You may say that people don't judge, but that's untrue. People will automatically treat me like a little child because of my appearance.
I will not sleep until I’ve counted to 200 three times
I will not sleep until my pencils lie in a straight line
I will not sleep until my pencils lie in a straight line
You want to hear about my personality, now? Generally, I tend to be quiet and serious around other people. I open up more around my friends, and while I’m not all that talkative, I know how to have fun and be myself around them. If I had to choose one stand out trait of mine, it would definitely be protective. I am constantly worried about my friends, and try to keep them safe as much as I can. You already know that I can’t do that much for them, but I will never fail at what I can do. I sometimes go to extremes, to the point of Obsessive, but the world can be a very dangerous place.
I’m sure you’ve seen by now that I’m not all that trusting. Well, I take that back. I trust my friends one hundred and ten percent. It’s the rest of the world that I don’t trust. People hurt each other for no reason. They steal, attack, even kill one another; and let’s not forget the things that are just accidents, natural disasters, being in the wrong place at the wrong time. There are already too many dangers outside; the least I can do is double check that I locked the doors and make sure everything is in order before I leave the house.
Now it must seem that I’m terribly overbearing, but I have good qualities, too. Once I know you, I’m very loyal. I will trust you completely. I also am a very good listener, and while I can’t always, I’ll try to understand. Unfortunately, I have bad qualities as well. I’ve already said that I’m overprotective. I’ll also admit that I’m highly obsessive, to the point of OCD.
I really love to spend time with my friends. I care a lot about them, and while most of them are all older than me, I love them like family. One more thing I like is cleaning. It may seem strange, but I like being organized and neat.
I have to say, though, I abhor school. It’s not the reading and writing, or the learning that I hate. All of that is perfectly fine. I hate not fitting in. Most of the kids at school don’t understand me. They don’t understand my need to make sure doors are locked, or my need to keep things clean, or my protectiveness. People tend to hate things they don’t understand, so I don’t really get along well with other kids at school. My favorite part of the day is coming home to see my friends, because they all get it.
I’m sure you’ve seen by now that I’m not all that trusting. Well, I take that back. I trust my friends one hundred and ten percent. It’s the rest of the world that I don’t trust. People hurt each other for no reason. They steal, attack, even kill one another; and let’s not forget the things that are just accidents, natural disasters, being in the wrong place at the wrong time. There are already too many dangers outside; the least I can do is double check that I locked the doors and make sure everything is in order before I leave the house.
Now it must seem that I’m terribly overbearing, but I have good qualities, too. Once I know you, I’m very loyal. I will trust you completely. I also am a very good listener, and while I can’t always, I’ll try to understand. Unfortunately, I have bad qualities as well. I’ve already said that I’m overprotective. I’ll also admit that I’m highly obsessive, to the point of OCD.
I really love to spend time with my friends. I care a lot about them, and while most of them are all older than me, I love them like family. One more thing I like is cleaning. It may seem strange, but I like being organized and neat.
I have to say, though, I abhor school. It’s not the reading and writing, or the learning that I hate. All of that is perfectly fine. I hate not fitting in. Most of the kids at school don’t understand me. They don’t understand my need to make sure doors are locked, or my need to keep things clean, or my protectiveness. People tend to hate things they don’t understand, so I don’t really get along well with other kids at school. My favorite part of the day is coming home to see my friends, because they all get it.
I check the stove four times each day
I spin around the door to make sure that it’s locked
And wear these lucky socks until they fade away
I spin around the door to make sure that it’s locked
And wear these lucky socks until they fade away
My history? Well, I'm afraid it's not a very pleasant tale. I was born to Gavin and Shannon McLeay thirteen years ago on December 18. I was a good baby, or so I was told. I rarely cried and smiled often. My earlier years continued like this, happy and uneventful. I was an energetic toddler, always getting into things and exploring. What I remember of that time are the happiest moments in my memory, full of bright days and a smiling family.
As I grew older, I began to understand more about my life. I had a perfectly normal life. I had two wonderful parents who loved me, and while we were never rich, we always had enough. I attended school, and while I was never a talkative child, I made several good friends who I spent time with every day. One of those friends was a young girl named Aliyah. Aliyah was a year younger than me, but we were inseparable, almost like twins.
I remember the day so clearly, the day that took away my perfect life, the day that constantly replays itself in my memory. It was five years ago, when I was eight years old. Aliyah and I were riding horses together. I had never much liked animals, but she had convinced me to come, and was teaching me how to ride. We had been riding for a while, and I was really starting to get the hang of it. I was just turning to tell her that riding might not be so bad, when something spooked her horse. Aliyah was thrown from the animal’s back, and in its fright, the horse trampled her.
I panicked, I didn’t know what to do. The bones in both her legs had been completely shattered. I had never witnessed an accident like that before. I couldn’t help her. After fruitlessly trying to help her for a while, I went and got her father to bring help. She lived through it, but she is crippled now. She can’t ride horses anymore, she has trouble just walking. If I had been faster to get help, or paid more attention in school when they taught us about this, maybe things would have turned out differently.
I suppose that’s when the obsessions began. It was my fault Aliyah had gotten hurt, and I wouldn’t let that happen to anyone else I cared about. I had to check constantly to make sure our doors were locked when we went out. I got up several times each night to be sure that nothing had happened to my parents while we were sleeping. I washed my hands all the time, and I was constantly straightening up and keeping things orderly. I guess it was too much. My parents couldn’t bear to see their perfect daughter going insane.
They had heard of a place where a woman took in people with mental illnesses. “Took in,” being the relative phrase. I’m pretty sure people just showed up on their own. It didn’t matter whether she wanted me or not, Veronica was stuck with me. My parents dropped me off at her house, saying that I was just causing too much stress at home right now, and to come back when I was better. I wasn’t sure whether I would be welcome at first. It was clear I wasn’t expected, but they never sent me away. I eventually came to see it as my home, and the other people living there as my family.
[/color]As I grew older, I began to understand more about my life. I had a perfectly normal life. I had two wonderful parents who loved me, and while we were never rich, we always had enough. I attended school, and while I was never a talkative child, I made several good friends who I spent time with every day. One of those friends was a young girl named Aliyah. Aliyah was a year younger than me, but we were inseparable, almost like twins.
I remember the day so clearly, the day that took away my perfect life, the day that constantly replays itself in my memory. It was five years ago, when I was eight years old. Aliyah and I were riding horses together. I had never much liked animals, but she had convinced me to come, and was teaching me how to ride. We had been riding for a while, and I was really starting to get the hang of it. I was just turning to tell her that riding might not be so bad, when something spooked her horse. Aliyah was thrown from the animal’s back, and in its fright, the horse trampled her.
I panicked, I didn’t know what to do. The bones in both her legs had been completely shattered. I had never witnessed an accident like that before. I couldn’t help her. After fruitlessly trying to help her for a while, I went and got her father to bring help. She lived through it, but she is crippled now. She can’t ride horses anymore, she has trouble just walking. If I had been faster to get help, or paid more attention in school when they taught us about this, maybe things would have turned out differently.
I suppose that’s when the obsessions began. It was my fault Aliyah had gotten hurt, and I wouldn’t let that happen to anyone else I cared about. I had to check constantly to make sure our doors were locked when we went out. I got up several times each night to be sure that nothing had happened to my parents while we were sleeping. I washed my hands all the time, and I was constantly straightening up and keeping things orderly. I guess it was too much. My parents couldn’t bear to see their perfect daughter going insane.
They had heard of a place where a woman took in people with mental illnesses. “Took in,” being the relative phrase. I’m pretty sure people just showed up on their own. It didn’t matter whether she wanted me or not, Veronica was stuck with me. My parents dropped me off at her house, saying that I was just causing too much stress at home right now, and to come back when I was better. I wasn’t sure whether I would be welcome at first. It was clear I wasn’t expected, but they never sent me away. I eventually came to see it as my home, and the other people living there as my family.
One day, I’ll be stepping
On cracks and close my eyes
But I’m too tired to argue with myself
I’ll just do this one more time
On cracks and close my eyes
But I’m too tired to argue with myself
I’ll just do this one more time
Codeword: Odair
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Words: 1500
Other: Finished for Sar's plot
Other: Finished for Sar's plot
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