christa chambers * d4 [fin!]

My sister and I have a lot in common, including our gender: female, of course. That, and we both hail from district 4. I was born three years after Miss Perfect however, pitting my sixteen against her nineteen.

"What do you see when you look at me, Thom?" I smile up into his beaming face. I know the answer already. He'll say the same thing he always does, I just love hearing it. I see a beautiful, young, independent girl. Why? It makes me feel good, hearing it from the one person I can truly trust to be there for me. "I see... I see forever." This new answer surprises me and I find myself at a blank. I blink several times before responding with an unintelligent, "What?" He smiles faintly and just stares. Oh god. He loves me. He seems to take my moment of hesitation to his advantage, leaning forward and planting his lips hard against my own. I grab at the back of his head to steady myself as his hands come down on his shoulders to push me back. He's on me then, hands tearing away at my clothing, leaving my body bare beneath his.

"Oh Annalise, I love you."

I wake in a flurry of sweaty limbs, sputtering several obscenities. Same damn dream... I feel my face flush even as my heart throbs. He was with her though, instead of me. I wonder at this new turn. Even in my daydreams I have began to think of Thomus and Annalise, their light relationship and how it was almost never mentioned around the Chambers household. Did she love him like he must have loved her?

When I can no longer take the insufferable heat in my bedroom, I tramp my way into the washroom. Splashing cold water on my flushed face, I groan. Another round of interviews today for the Chambers. Great. Investigations had been piling up recently as the search for Annalise intensified. Just when the hope that they had finally given up on the forsaken girl, another squadron of Peacekeepers was shipped in to help the cause. I guess they can't just deal with one of their victors up and disappearing right beneath their very noses. Good riddance! I say. Let her mangled spirit rest. I have long since given up the thought that my sister could possibly live.

Glancing at myself in the mirror, I cringe, as I do every day. My reflection just surfaces memories of her, and the haunting legacy she left behind in me. I look to much like Annalise to be comfortable with my appearance. It's the true. The very set of my facial features reminds me of her. The thin eyebrows, seemingly set in a permanent scowl. The bridged nose that ends in an ungraceful flat. The puckered lips with the everlasting red stain. The creased chin. They are all features we shared/share. It is insufferable. I turn away from the reflecting pane of glass an continue readying myself for what is sure to be a very busy day.

"Christa Chambers! Is there any information you have been withholding from the authorities regarding your sister, Annalise Chambers?" I resist the urge to grin and instead plaster on a frown of insurmountable sorrow. "Of course not. I want my sister found at all costs. I know she's out there somewhere and I'll cooperate with the Peacekeepers for as long as it takes to find her." The man gives a nod in response and jots the quote down on a little pad he's been carrying around. You make a pretty good liar, Kris. Watch yourself. "Are you able to comment on where your sister was heading when you last spoke with her, Christa?" I cock my head and wonder if this is a trick question. The last time I spoke my sister was nearly four years ago, before she read my diary and discovered the awful truth I had been hiding from her. "She mentioned a wedding, off the coast. Some island. She went on a boat full of other people." He nods again. "Thank you Miss Chambers, that will be all."


"I think she's hiding something from us." The two men lean their heads together over the paper clippings and photos. "Why's that?" The reporter shuffles a few papers and files them away before returning to the stack. He picks up and inspects a photo of Annalise, squinting as he makes out the background. "Well she doesn't seem very worried about her sister. I don't think she really cared for Annalise at all. Maybe she's one of those apathetic types who only cares for themselves, hm?" The second man chuckles, skimming through a location report. "You always gotta suspect someone, don't ya Bart? I think Christa seems innocent enough. Then again, there are always them people that'll put on them sweet-as-pie smiles and turn around an stab the ones they love in the back. Think she might be one of those types? One of them mischievous things?" The reporter, Bart, nods thoughtfully. "Could be. I was leaning toward the possibility that the two of them had a falling out, the younger one, Christa, wants revenge so she ain't tellin' us where to look for her." The second man Hmm's thoughtfully and returns to the stack. They fall into a mutual silence and Christa isn't brought up again.

It's never been easy, growing up around Annalise. Even when we were little girls playing tea and running around mother's laundry she saw herself as the superior sibling, as did mother and father; she was always the favorite. Christa, you know the second slice belongs to Annalise! Christa, give Annalise the jump rope, she's older. Her attitude she changed too, eventually. She transformed into this devious brat that would throw terrible tantrums when she wouldn't get her way. When she did something wrong she played her cards so that I was the one punished. Oh so it was you who talked her into breaking the lamp, was it Christa?

There wasn't a single person who was able to resist Annalise's charm. Eventually even I learned it was easier to just give into her seductive personality -- I began to live my life the way Annalise wanted me to. Annalise, can I tell you a secret? I have a crush on Geoffrey. You like him too? Alright, fine! I won't like him anymore. She would pass down the clothes she outgrew and insist I wore them. Your clothes are ugly, Kris! We don't want a reputation going 'round that we Chambers dress poorly, now do we?

There's a certain spring to my step as I make my way toward the lake. My picnic basket is full of his favorite foods -- fried salmon, boiled potatoes and fresh-picked strawberries -- and a blanket I have draped over my bony shoulders. What is it about him that makes me want to please him so? Is it that feeling adults talk about -- love? Do I love Thomus? My train of thought has refused to deter from this track set, plowing through the landscape of Thomus Muller, because there has to be something I'm missing. We've been friends for three years now and he asked me to meet him by the lake for lunch. A smile finds its ways to my puckered lips and I know without a doubt that I'm blushing by now. A horrific realization hits me full force. What if he doesn't love me back. I stop so hard I nearly drop everything I've been towing along this far. He does. I know he does. He has to.

"Christa! Hey!" A firm hand comes down on my shoulder, lightly spinning around. Thomus stands before me, his sweaty thirteen year-old frame blocking everything else from view. He notes my blue expression and traces my cheek lightly with his fingertips. "Hey, hey are you alright? You look... well, you look like you've seen a ghost!" I just smile and shake off his hand, dropping the picnic basket and giving him a hard hug. "No, of course nothing's wrong! Just happy to see you." His grin broadens and he steps back, folding his arms. "I'm glad to see you too! I have some really good news. Me and your sister made it official earlier! We're finally together!"

No.

Annalise visualizes from behind a cluster of trees, running up to Thomus and throwing her arms around him. "Hey babe!" She looks to the side, only just realizing I'm here. "Oh hey Christa! Is that a picnic basket? Great, I'm starving! I hoped you packed strawberries, I know they're Thom's favorite..."

No. Oh god NO. I hate you, Annalise. I hate you.

It seemed that as desperate I was to have her life, she was just as determined to steal mine. Whatever I wanted, she had to have first. Whatever I owned, she took as if it were hers to begin with. She was a monster, and Annalise Chambers soon became the very bane of my existence. Where she had previously been my other half, my sister had become my own worst enemy. Maybe she wants it this way.

All I really wanted was escape from her. I'd find it here in there -- at school, when she was out roaming the streets with her new hoodlum friends, when mom and dad took her out for some celebratory dinner that I wasn't invited to. In these much appreciated moments, I'd tuck myself into a secluded cranny and write. A diary of sorts, my little leather-bound journal contained every secret I've ever kept, every lie I've ever told, every dream I've ever harbored in the messy sea my churning mind has become. I'd write about Annalise -- about how this perfect blonde girl had taken my life with two hands and torn it into little pieces. When I was done, I'd stick it back under the loose floorboard beneath my bed.

"Christa, what's this?" I turn to look, my interest piqued as my sister never spoke to me if she were able to avoid it. My breath hitched as my eyes landed on what she held in her hand. My journal. "Annalise, no! Give that back! Please!" Stubborn as ever, Annalise lifted it high above her head where she knew I wasn't able to reach and scampered down the hall. Tossing an evil grin behind her back at me, she lunged into the bathroom and flicked the lock down on the handle. I could hear her giggling inside then. She knew she had me pinned. She knew exactly what she held in her hands and she knew exactly how she would ruin me with the information she now possessed.

It wasn't long after that my sister emerges from the bathroom, a cold look upon her face. She drops the book at my feet and slams the door to her bedroom shut behind her. I can hear you plotting, dear Annalise. What will you do to me now, sweet sister?

Annalise began avoiding me. She'd turn her head when she saw me at school, she'd stop talking when I'd walk by with my tray at lunch. I was being shunned, more or less, and she wanted to make it widely known that we were no longer on speaking terms. And if I wasn't on speaking terms with Annalise Chambers, then I wasn't on speaking terms with anyone. Who needs them.

This sort of brutal behavior didn't last much longer though. Any sort of attention from Annalise at all didn't last much longer. Because shortly after my thirteenth birthday, Annalise Chambers was reaped to participate in the 53d Hunger Games.

I stood aside, out of my parents' way while they hugged and kissed my sister's cheeks and head. They were crying, all three of them. The Hunger Games was more or less forgotten among the the two of us -- our family drama had seemed more important. No though, I realized that when we were worrying about falling in love with the same boy or writing petty letters about each other in our diaries, we should have been worrying about each other. We should have had each other's backs. Annalise beckons and I step forward to take our parents' place in front of her.

"I will get my revenge on you, sister. Even if I die in that damned arena, I will come back and I will haunt your ass." She retreats and grins devilishly. "I'll be seeing you, bitch." The train starts its huffing and chugs along down the track, dragging my sister's shadow with it until even she is out of sight and I am alone with the family I don't really know.

It was interesting, watching my sister fight other kids on live television. It was fascinating still to see she was actually good at the killing. Good at everything. Mom and dad were hysteric messes the entire journey. How they'd scream and holler at the set when she was at the brink of death. I'd hope so hard the girl would just die already. But then she didn't die. Ever. When she had laid rest to the final tribute and the trumpets rang clear and true, we just sat there for several minutes in dumbfounded shock. Then, of course, my parents jumped up and cheered and hollered and celebrated because their favorite baby girl was returning home to them after all.

"Have fun baby! Are you sure you don't want us to come with you?" Annalise glances back and smiles at mom. "No momma, just stay home and take care of little Kris." She tosses her hair over her shoulder and gathers her bags before walking the little board walk up to the expansive boat. "Look at her! Going off on her own little trip without her family! To a wedding! She's growing up." Dad's voice drips with adoration and love. He has never used that sort of tone with me before. What have you done to deserve their attention, Kris? Their adoration? Your sister is a victor. Your sister is everything. you are a nuisance. I was free the moment that boat brought up its anchor and pulled off into the deep blue and I dreaded Annalise's return.

Only she didn't.

-- sister to the late annalise chambers!
-- demi lovato
-- all we know is falling - paramore
-- annalise being a past victor was accepted a long, long time ago when she was still alive ^^