Crucis Greenlaw of District 4 (Finished)

Appearance:

I'm not the biggest guy in the world, and I'm no where near being the tallest either. For a guy who is supposed to be a career, I'm a real shrimp, especially tossed up against the stronger and beefier boys of my district. I'm only 5' 7", and though I'm still growing, it hasn't stopped them from dismissing me as shark bait. And some days, I can't completely disagree with them about how my body is shaping up.

Since I was a little kid, I've always been really self-conscious about my appearance. I was a little blade of grass poking up from the crack of a sidewalk: just as vulnerable as I was visible, and it was inevitable that I would eventually get stepped on. My scrawny little pre-pubescent frame wasn't quite right. Even after my body started to reap the benefits of testosterone I still wasn't good enough. Not real tall, not real broad, but at least I began to put muscle on me. I made sure that I did.

Everyday I'd work out, do push-ups, pull-ups, run, everything that I thought could make me bigger. But for a guy like me there was only so much that working out could do for me. It made me fit in a little more, I was less scrawny, but I wasn't good enough. I wasn't six feet tall and broad with the smile that made Capitol women swoon, and their husbands jealous. Well, I didn't really know any people like that in District 4, anyways. Why am I never happy with what I get?

Don't get me wrong, there are some good features that I have. I have a nice thick head of brown hair, and caramel eyes that are always looking for something new and fascinating. I have sharper features that I feel add definition to my face, and looks more masculine. My ears are also a little small, but I remember someone telling me people with small ears are better listeners, so maybe it isn't a bad thing.

Perhaps the one thing that I do actually find myself comfortable in is the clothes I choose to wear. The things that I got to choose that can make me look better, and there's this sense of power and control that they give me. I love it. When I decide to wear something clean and fresh and polished, and then someone tells me how nice it is on me, there is a sense of accomplishment in it. Something that I've done is being recognized, and I can never get enough of it.


Personality:


I'd like to think that I'm a pretty good guy. Honest, loyal to my friends, and always willing to laugh at a joke, even if it probably wasn't that good of one. I'm nice to people, and believe that everyone deserves a chance to show who they really are as a person. I mean... I certainly am not a bully. I don't go out of my way to hurt people or anything. What kind of person does that, you know?

Of course, I guess I can't be perfect either. Sometimes I'm a little too boastful or proud. Whenever I do something I feel like is worth praise, I tend to draw it out and soak up all the compliments I can from it. I love the feeling of being important, of being praised, and I can't stand my importance not being noticed. This kind of leads into my desire of being a leader. I feel like I have the capability, but I'm never given this chance to do so. There is so much I can offer, but why doesn't anyone let me?

Perhaps I have never been outspoken enough. I tend to let people talk, and hear what they have to say, rather than interrupting them to show off my own points. I'm smart, and I've got a lot of ideas on ways to do things. There is so much that I can offer in guidance to other people. Even in things that seem like they need someone like me to lead them, it is always the guy who's stronger than I am that ends up being able to. Then again, the strong are the popular ones, too.

No matter what confidence that I throw up for people they can always tell it's false. I just wonder how else I'm supposed to impress these people or have them like me like they do these other "popular kids." Sometimes I really don't know... and maybe it's just better to just be the good little career that we are supposed to be. And maybe one day I'll get that chance to make them all really proud one day.


History:

A long time ago I was born in the beautiful place that went by the name of District 4. I was born with the sun just peaking over the horizon, and turning the blue waters of the sea a magic collage of yellows and golds over the deep indigo background. The fishing district of Panem where my father would harvest scallops, and my mother fashioning the hooks and nets to be sold to the men out on the ships.

As I grew, I always could smell the sea on the breeze, and tasted it in every meal I consumed. I have never known true hunger, or never had enough to drink. I've been healthy, hardly ever getting sick, but when I did I always would get better. My parents love me, and my dad is the best guy in the world. Since I don't have any other siblings he's always been able to spend a lot of time with me. One of my earliest memories was when he took me down to a giant stretch of shore and taught me to fish. Even though I went home empty-handed, there was a lot to learn about patience and good spirit when things don't go your way. Of course back then I was pretty upset about not catching anything. It was something that I didn't really come to appreciate until I got older.

As I hit school, it was pretty easy to see that I wasn't going to be having an easy time fitting in. Tiny and scrawny around so many of my larger peers, and with the importance of strength and intelligence for participation in the Hunger Games being preached at such a young age... Well it might as well have been a social "blood bath" for those of us who didn't quite fit that image. I had friends, but I don't really look back and see them like that. It was more of an alliance formed out of desperation. We were misfits seeking refuge, and found it in each other. I never did bring any of them home after school or anything. I guess I didn't want to be embarrassed in front of my father.

Even after I became a teenager, things didn't find much of an improvement. I got taller and stronger, but so did all of the other boys around me. Proportionally, I was just as strong as I was when I was 10. But the one thing that did change was my personality. I grew more charming and outgoing, and stopped being so damn scared of people. I stood up for myself a few times, and got knocked on my ass just the same. But I was, and am no longer that misfit on the playground. And I'm not quite the last kid picked for teams in games.

I've grown up a lot, but it is easy to see that there is still more growing up for me to do. Physically, mentally, and probably mostly emotionally. I still have a few years, though. And I'm as ready as ever to start leaving new footprints on the sand.