Night Waterfall District 12

My dark hair and grey eyes mimics most seam children. With little meat on my bones it's just one of the many bad gifts I got for growing up here. My body is hardily fit for much except for surviving. That is what it has been doing for awhile. You can say that there got to be muscles by the way I run to school since the school is so far away ,but no that's just surviving the mandatory early school.

My hair usually lies in a pony tail easy to make ,and easy to hide the unhealthy hair. My bone structure would be very pretty if not for the lack of weight. My smile can be counted as somewhat pretty ,but the fact is even without any permanent scars my neighbor Azalea is indeed more pretty than me. I have some hips but they never got as big as my mom's probably due to not even having as much food as she had when she was a kid.

My eyes although the usual greyish seam color they tend to seem different in a way. People tell me that my eyes sometimes looks like I am looking deeper within their soul. I feel it sometimes me just staring at someone with intense thought the only thing that stops me from being pinned a weirdo like my neighbor is my laugh that draws people out of thinking about me being a weirdo. I am a decent height at 5 foot 5 and a half with a almost perfect stature.

My personality is both good ,and bad. You can argue that ones more than the other ,but I argue it's more like 50/50. I can still laugh sometimes even though its hard to. My thoughts run wild with ideas of who the person standing in front of me to only redeem myself by being friendly. Although I am not friendly all the time I am friendly enough to make friends.

The thing that stops me from accumulating lots of friends is my way strong headiness this could be good in the way it keeps me getting what I want ,but may also not allow me to listen to ideas that may be better for me from other people. Another flaw of mine is if I feel offended I will "bite their head off" with a mean retort back. This perhaps make new friends apprehensive of staying as friends. I blame it on not getting enough food ,but I know more than anyone else that that's just my personality.

When I am happy it lights up peoples days. I am outgoing and can laugh when I am happy which is more often than not. Sometimes though I get in a bad mood mostly when it comes the time of year when my dad died and the reaping. Then you will not see my smile and more often then not I will offend people. My friends understand that that is not me that I am just an afraid, sad ,maybe even depressed girl ,but sometimes I get the feeling that's who I want to be hidden deep inside someone that people are afraid to get close to who is safe in this bubble that they have built for themselves. But do I really know myself? No I am just another confused teen trying to survive in this "home" called district 12.

Every year around reaping somehow brake outs of unknown diseased spread around the district. This is probably due to the fact of people feeling stress that their kids will get reaped. My family or what is left of my family has suffered the most. Sometimes I feel jealous that my other family members were relieved this life and able to go to hat lies beyond. Heaven. So what happened is the next question.

My parents were married at one of the best times not too young not too old. They really loved each other. They had me everything was fine. When I was 5 they announced that I will have another sibling. 6 the baby came it was a little sister. We were so happy. Although our food amount lowered we were sill happy with even the simple life. Then things slowly crashed down. My sister died at age 2 from an unknown disease my dad became depressed and died of a disease perhaps fightable if he was not depressed when I was 8.

This left me with my mom and I. At least my mom is able to stay with me. I always think about how much I want to have my dad and little sister back, but then I am reminded by the screaming of Azalea's parents my neighbor that would it even be as nice as it was? These always are battled back and forth in my brain. Sometimes I watch as Azalea runs out of her house. This makes me wonder if some day I may go insane like that.

Throughout the years I realize who people really are. Myself just an starved girl who is both starving for food ,and answers. I have realized that my neighbor although older than me really is just a kid not a teen. I have made a good amount of friends just a few stick knowing ,and perhaps looking into my soul like I did with theirs. One word that can account for my history . It's the word Mess. Its a mess because I have no clue who I am anymore and each year it gets worse always thinking that this year I may be pulled into the games. Maybe I want to get away from this life ,but maybe I want to stay longer in this life and just bring back money to make it happen. I will never know what my past will forever hold one thing is certain I am living it right now.