Pick Up the Pieces [Arbor, Zinnia, Alia]

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Zinnia's mind felt like it was about to explode from the tension. Confused thoughts and feelings buzzed around her head like a mean hive of bees; the commotion never stopped. Her thoughts wouldn't settle, and the more she tried to make sense of what had just happened, what she was feeling, and who she was anymore, the conflicting parts of her brain warred even more and she only ended up more confused and hurt. For one of the first times since the beginning of the Games, she felt sympathy. She felt helpless, and she felt like she was in a horrid place. For the first time since the Games had started, she was afraid. Afraid to die, she realized. Despite her first plan to cause trouble and make life hell for someone in the Arena, (as in, Archer) she didn't feel accomplished. She didn't feel whole. She would be remembered, but was that really what mattered anymore? It didn't make her feel any better, nor did it make her anymore ready to die. She felt empty then, because she wasn't sure what her purpose was anymore. Her main goal was accomplished, and yet she didn't feel like she was done yet.

She was going somewhere, towards some result, some fate, and yet she didn't know what her fate would be. She thought that killing Archer would solve everything, make everything better, but all it did was take away any goals she had and it left her confused and unsure of herself. What would happen next? Would she just be killed off, just be one more tribute to die? One more stepping stone for someone else to pass on their own way to victory? No, you won't win. It was a silly thought even in itself. She had always, would always be useless. Ever since the day her mother died, her fate was sealed. Never amounting to anything, always being kicked (literally) around by others. Till the day she was going to die, it would be that way. Whether that day was going to be in the Arena or not was going to be decided solely by chance.

With her green-eyed gaze staring blankly towards the ground, the silence didn't bother her. She was too wrapped up in her own thoughts, too confused to say a word to either of her allies. If the Capitol had their cameras pointed towards her right then, she wouldn't seem like much of anyone in the Games. She would seem weak and tired and confused. She was all of those things, but that wasn't the point. If there was anyone out there who had made a point to keep track of her in the Games, maybe even anyone who was rooting for her, they most likely didn't any longer. They would love her crazy, murderous side, not her emotional side. It was too late, though, because it seemed that that part of her was gone for good. With her main target taken out, she was left without someone to direct her anger towards. Without a target, her feelings were empty and pointless, and any hatred or anger that was left had disappeared along with the people who she first directed it at. All she was left with were weak emotions. Sadness and sympathy and fear, and the Capitol didn't see those emotions as desirable in a tribute. Not that it mattered.. the alliance already had many items as it was, and Zinnia wasn't going to win the Games anyways. She was starting to have false hopes, but she knew that those hopes were silly. People like her didn't win the Hunger Games.

With a shallow breath Zinnia decided that she was thinking too much, so she turned her attention to other things. The first thing she noticed was how much colder it felt when she actually turned away from her confused thoughts and focused on it. The snow in the forest was less deep then out in the open tundra, but some of the cold snow still managed to soak through her boots and make her feet feel freezing. The air around her was already bitterly cold, and it didn't help that the wind was blowing rapidly. The air moved around her relentlessly and it bit at her face and ears with every one of it's movements. The cold had seemed bad enough when her mind was on other troubling thoughts, but when she actually paid attention to it, it felt unbearable.

Okay, bad idea. Focus on something else.. She told herself with a deep breath, but thankfully Arbor voiced a question that tore her mind away from how cold the air was. "Can we take inventory real quick?" He asked Ailia and herself. It was one of the first times that she had heard him speak in the Arena. She was thankful for the question because it directed her attention elsewhere, but she realized that she was still having trouble controlling her thoughts and actions. That may have been because of the previous incident, but another factor was probably the cold. It was always harder to think when it was cold. Nonetheless, she couldn't just stand there and not reply.

Sometime while she had been thinking again, Arbor had said something else, but she wasn't quite sure what it was. Something something something about the items they had left, and then something about a hat? She wasn't sure what he had even asked, but she looked through the several backpacks anyways. They had so many items and packs now that it was almost a certainty that there was a hat somewhere, if that's what Arbor had wanted. After looking through a first backpack she moved onto a second one. There was no hat in that one either. In the third pack she checked, no hat. The fourth one didn't have one either. She stopped then, and looked up at Arbor. "We have a whole ton of items, but I don't think there's a hat. Do you need one?" Her own voice was shaky when she spoke, so much weaker then it had been before the fight with Archer.


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