Hudson Vespoli ۞ d4 {fin}

If you put my brother and I side by side I’d be quite surprised if you’re able to tell us apart. Davitt and I are exactly the same (aside from a few discrepancies such as scars and freckles) and looking at him is basically just me looking at a mirror. But my sister, Vivi, is the only fr—er, f—… um… different one. She doesn’t look like either of us aside from a few similarities. She’s also the only girl out of the three of us but that doesn’t mean anything. We’re the triplets, Vivi, Davitt, and I – it’s always been us and will forever be us.

My eyes are a blue-grey, quite like the color of the sea when storm clouds are raging overhead and blocking the sun. It’s that dull mixture of foamy white and almost an algae green, and toss in a few shades of dark blue. I’ve got a sort of round nose that flares out at the end, unlike Vivi’s straight and narrow one. My cheekbones are high and prominent and rather sharp-looking if I do say so myself. Like Davitt, my hair is dark brown and curls at the end. I tend to keep it fairly short but the curls always end up overhanging my forehead and ears when not fluffed up from—the, um… sticky air. The kind that makes your skin all grimy, y’know? You walk outside and it’s like passing through a vale of water. But unlike Davitt my limbs and body are much thinner and weaker due to my constant use of drugs. I don’t care that I’m not as strong as him because everyone has their differences, even among siblings. I may be taller than him but doesn’t account for anything.

The only article of clothing I will ever willingly wear is a pair of shorts that are very worn out. I don’t like shirts as I find them restricting and unnatural, and I also don’t like shoes so I’m always barefoot. I’ve never worn shoes in my whole life, even when I was younger and running around the district square. The sol—um… sol—er, whatever the bottom part of your foot is, mine’s really rough. It’s like a natural kind of shoe and it doesn’t bother me how unsightly it might look because I don’t care enough to find a pair of shoes. Never have, never will. Even in the winter it doesn’t get very cold so I don’t need to find a shirt or socks. Being without a shirt constantly obviously means my skin is pretty tan but I’ve got an awful tan line at my hips from the shorts.

I’m just about as easy-going as you can get. It takes a lot in order for me to get upset over someone or something. I try to not let people get the best of me and I don’t hold grudges, seeing as I believe everyone deserves a second chance. Or three chances. Or four. Or however many it takes. I’m a firm believer also in the philosophy that everything happens for a reason. I try to be good so that karma can be kind to me and usually I’m too doped up to really be hateful toward anyone and I hardly leave home long enough to make enemies. I hardly even go to the district square anymore, choosing to just fish and swim and dive for oysters and things like that and nibble on them instead of using what little money we have on some processed food. I’m not going to lie, the few times I’ve had cookies and such were good, but I’d prefer to catch fish with my bare hands and filet them myself. Everyone has their own tastes in my family and if they have cookies I’ll try to sweet talk my way into getting one or two.

The two closest siblings of mine are Vivi and Davitt. Davitt because we look exactly the same, and Vivi because of something else. We’re triplets, yeah, but there’s just something about Vivi that I can’t explain. We’ve been together from the very start and ever since I can remember I knew I could trust her with anything and those feelings just developed into something more. I’m very open about my relationship with her – I’m not afraid to reach out and hold her hand, kiss her neck, hug her, or cuddle with her in front of anyone else. Love is love, who cares who it’s with? Vivi’s simply amazing and I love to lie next to her and listen to her play her ukulele and sing, two things I can never do. I don’t leave Davitt out in the cold and void of love; I love to wrestle with him even though I lose every time and I’m not afraid to kiss him either. My feelings for him aren’t as strong as for Vivi but he’s still the best brother I could ever ask for, and often when Vivi and I are cuddling at night we’ll ask him if he wants to join us. I don’t think he particularly likes being included in our little shenanigan but I still try to let him in on things. He doesn’t seem to like being the “odd one out.”

I love the ocean and our style of living. I’ve seen other peoples’ houses and to be honest I think ours is the cream of the crop. It’s just an old boat but we’re literally right on the shore, hardly a few steps away from the ocean. I love to swim in the little coves and dive for shells and I think I’m pretty damn good at holding my breath for long periods of time. Most of the shells I get I fashion into some kind of jewelry (I won’t lie, I give most of the things I make to Vivi) and sometimes I’ll sell them to people. It’s very rare that I’ll ever venture down to the district square but whenever I do it’s either to sell my jewelry or trade them for something.

The only thing that disrupts my life style is the fact that I forget things very easily. I don’t know what it’s called – I’ve never gone to get it checked by any sort of doctor. I tend to forget people’s names and certain words that I try to use in conversations. It’s particularly frustrating whenever I get into an argument with Davitt or someone; I’ll forget a word and stumble over my sentence or forget the name of who I’m arguing with and so, in a fit of mumbling discontent, I just walk away, defeated. It happens every time. My forgetfulness is showing no signs of getting better but I try to not let that get to me too much. Live life and don’t worry, right? Even if I forget the names of those around me at least I’m still alive.

As far as I know I was born in this beached ship. I was one in a set of triplets: Davitt, Vivi, and myself. Ever since the womb it’s been us three and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love them both with everything I am and from an early age I proved it. We all played together and such, delving into the “family business” and running through the garden. I don’t exactly remember what the plants we grow are called… I just know that I’ve been smoking them from a very early age. Ma and Pa never punished me for doing that – in fact, they praised me. It was them that got me started on it. Ever since then I don’t think I’ve ever not been high for more than a day at a time. There’s a lot of nasty drugs out there circulating and none of it is as pure or natural as ours. Injecting something into your arm isn’t right, you’re not supposed to have holes in your elbow or between your toes or wherever you stick the needle to put drugs into your bloodstream. Breathing, though, that’s natural. You breathe to live and therefore you should just have to suck in the fumes of a joint in order to feel better.

The joints didn’t ease the pain of Ma and Pa dying. I don’t know what they died of – I don’t think any of us know. I believe it was a freak accident of some sort. They taught us all about death early on and said that even though the body rots and decays you can’t kill the spirit. I know Ma and Pa are still here, somewhere, hovering around intertwined together, laughing alongside us or diving below the sea’s surface on shell hunts or dancing around with us by a bonfire. They taught me how to accept others and not judge, how not to fear the unknown and stick to what I believe while not downplaying others.

I don’t know when exactly I realized I loved Vivi. It was young, that I’m sure of; probably when I was about ten or so. At first we started with just little things like holding hands, hiding it from our siblings and Davitt. I never saw anything wrong with it from the start. If I love her then that’s enough to justify it, right? I truly do care about her in both a brotherly way and that of a lover. Over the years that little bud of love blossomed and I wasn’t afraid to hide anymore. I kissed her whenever I felt like it, I hugged her more tightly than I should, I held her hand; and at night we’d go to each other’s rooms and curl up against each other, lulling the other to sleep with just our physical presence. Some nights we got a bit carried away, though, and I don’t regret any of it.

It became evident very quickly that my family lived a different lifestyle than that of the rest of Four. It never bothered me a bit and it still doesn’t. I’ll live free of worry if I want to while the rest of the district stresses and worries over the little things. I wasn’t born to be part of some game or to, um… al—umm… er, do what they do with all this Capitol nonsense. I was born free, I’ll live free, and I’ll die free.