Micaiah Illuminate (D12) [Delete her plz]

StarScry
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Micaiah Illuminate (D12) [Delete her plz] Sept 17, 2013 0:59:42 GMT -5

Post by StarScry on Sept 17, 2013 0:59:42 GMT -5

Name: Micaiah Illuminate,Micky,Micaiah
Age: 16
Gender: Female
District/Area: District 12
Appearance:

Her icy white hair flows from a waterfall braid down her shoulder. She looks like a goddess just like her name. Micaiah,she who is like God. Her curvaceous body is a dream to all men watching her. Her glowing yellow eyes,in the night people think she's a cat but she always steps out of the shadows and introduces herself. The only think that's weird is her gigantic birthmark on her right hand. It looks like a capitol emblem mixed with D12. It's so weird she always wears a glove on that hand....

She wears a pink dress with blue ruffles,very unfitting for D12,but what's she going to do? She isn't a regular D12 anyways. Her boots are leather and go up to just below her knees. Her perfect face is very thin and sharp but beautiful nonetheless. Her only flaw in clothing is her color choice. It doesn't at all fit. She is very skinny and has some strength thanks to the hunting she sometimes does.

Personality:

Her niceness is shown to all. Even if there lies a slyness in the depths of her heart.She's always serious,one of the reasons she cannot explain. If she would she would've been an Avox in the blink of an eye. Her shyness,slyness and niceness makes her a deadly target,. Her beauty and serene state always make people trustworthy of her.

She is one of those 'geniuses' because,let's just say she can calculate the most reasonable outcome of combat. Because of this power she must have a disadvantage,that would be that she doesn't trust anyone TRULY. She could pretend but never truly do. Her tactics are incredible,she could kill an army of a 10 000 with a thousand.Not that she would know anything about that...Or maybe she does? Mostly her dad taught her alot of knowledge,so she is really smart for a D12 girl. But compared other richer Districts she is just average.

She despises the Careers.Because they are are the real killers in the Hunger Games. But she knows that it's the capitol that's brain-washed them. Make one fall and that's the end. Oh how she loves drama!

History:

*Micaiah's POV* Hi,nice to meet you,I'm Micaiah. You can call me Micky. I live here in district 12 with my "brother" Sothe. He's 5,so he's not old enough for the Hunger Games yet,I also live with Laura Loveheart,the priestess of District 12. The truth is,I'm not even from around here. I don't even know how I got here. All I remember is Laura and Sothe,everything else is blurry.

As she walked down the street she saw her cat,Missy. She grabbed it quickly. If the peace-keepers saw a "stray(it's an indoors cat but sneaks out)" cat they would kill it no hesitation.She petted her softly,she turns towards you again. I love all animals,especially birds. And the weird thing is they all love me back. Once I saw a lynx. It kinda tried to follow me home,ha....Ha.......Well,unto something else please?

Now,why I would become an Avox? Let me bring Laura,I do not remember. Laura steps in,her evening gown a bit too long for her. Yes,why Micaiah was in danger? Her dad was the victor of a previous Hunger Games. When he won all of the Capitolite wanted him(for sexual reasons),and he couldn't say no.If he did his whole family would've died. And one time...there was misfortune and one of them got pregnant with Sanaki. Micaiah's older sister. She doesn't know and she shouldn't. Sanaki is evil,whilst Micaiah is pure...mostly. In other words,Sankaki wants her sister to become a capitolite,even to the price of avoxing her. But truly,Sanaki has no power.

Codeword: odair
Comments/Other:

45th HG didn't exist even! Not on here physically. Fine,just a previous victor then! And she IS contradictory that's the point. I've tried to bring her from a video-game! XD

Last Edit: Oct 5, 2013 12:27:34 GMT -5 by StarScry

StarScry Seam Resident 29 POSTS last seen Jan 10, 2015 12:32:50 GMT -5	Micaiah Illuminate (D12) [Delete her plz] Sept 20, 2013 0:21:41 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by StarScry on Sept 20, 2013 0:21:41 GMT -5 I am done.

rook
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who needs another thing to be sad about?

Micaiah Illuminate (D12) [Delete her plz] Sept 23, 2013 17:24:36 GMT -5

Post by rook on Sept 23, 2013 17:24:36 GMT -5

Hi Pikmin!

Just a few things that need changing before I can give this a stamp of approval.

"Her curvaceous body is a dream to all men watching her." - You've also listed her as fourteen years old. It's unlikely that puberty would have given her goddess curves at this age, and even more that grown men would dream of fourteen year olds.
You've given her no physical flaws. Please keep in mind that no one is perfect. Does she have any scars, spots, acne, wounds, moles, birth marks etc? Anything unique you can come up with is great!
"She has some strength thanks to all mining in D12." - Unfortunately, only men over the age of eighteen are permitted to work in the mines. Micaiah wouldn't be allowed.
" Her tactics are incredible,she could kill an army of a 10 000 with a thousand." - How does she know this? Has she tried? Realistically, Tactics aren't really something a girl from District Twelve would know anything about. The education system in Twelve would be heavily Capitol influenced.
"she can see the result of combat." - Sorry, but this isn't physically possible.
You say she despises the Careers and the Middle Districts, but then say it's not their fault and that it's the Capitol's fault. Surely she only despises the Capitol, then? The statement is a little contradictory.
Unfortunately, there are no wild Mutts, as cool as that would be. All of the Muttations are Capitol generated and handled purely for the Games and Zoos.
"Now,why I would become an Avox?" This statement is somewhat standalone. Do you want to expand on this?
Her father cannot be a previous victor, unfortunately this collides with site canon.

Thanks for your cooperation.

[/blockquote]

an hourglass is just a glass with sand inside

StarScry Seam Resident 29 POSTS last seen Jan 10, 2015 12:32:50 GMT -5	Micaiah Illuminate (D12) [Delete her plz] Oct 5, 2013 2:54:15 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by StarScry on Oct 5, 2013 2:54:15 GMT -5 There. Her dad has to be a victor or it fuuks up the story. If you have any other ideas how to get a child from D12 into the capitol be my guest. ;D

cass
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Micaiah Illuminate (D12) [Delete her plz] Oct 5, 2013 6:42:32 GMT -5

Post by cass on Oct 5, 2013 6:42:32 GMT -5

Hey there. ^^

First off I haven't seen you make a many of the changes that Rook has suggested. Every point he has made is a valid one, and you will need to fix them all. The flaw you have added is not a flaw. Being unable to pick the colouring of your clothing is not a appearance flaw. An appearance flaw is something that takes away from your character so that they are not perfect. That means, something like missing fingers, grotesque scar, big nose, fat lips, large ear, missing eye, no foot, short legs etc.

And as Rook said her father cannot be a victor. You need to change that. It is site cannon, again as Rook stated. We do this also to make it fair. Everyone who has done this has been told not to otherwise we would all want our character's to have victors as parents. So please remove this, if you need to fix her entire character then I'm sorry, but you will have to.

So again make sure you fix all of this before replying to say you have edited your bio:

"-- Her curvaceous body is a dream to all men watching her." - You've also listed her as fourteen years old. It's unlikely that puberty would have given her goddess curves at this age, and even more that grown men would dream of fourteen year olds.
-- You've given her no physical flaws. Please keep in mind that no one is perfect. Does she have any scars, spots, acne, wounds, moles, birth marks etc? Anything unique you can come up with is great!
"-- Her tactics are incredible,she could kill an army of a 10 000 with a thousand." - How does she know this? Has she tried? Realistically, Tactics aren't really something a girl from District Twelve would know anything about. The education system in Twelve would be heavily Capitol influenced.
-- "she can see the result of combat." - Sorry, but this isn't physically possible.
-- You say she despises the Careers and the Middle Districts, but then say it's not their fault and that it's the Capitol's fault. Surely she only despises the Capitol, then? The statement is a little contradictory.
-- Unfortunately, there are no wild Mutts to the extent that you have suggested.The capitol does keep some around, like the Tracker Jacker, but ones like a Lynx? Running around in district 12? No.
-- "Now,why I would become an Avox?" This statement is somewhat standalone. Do you want to expand on this?
-- Her father cannot be a previous victor, unfortunately this collides with site canon."

To respond to your statement "If you have any other ideas how to get a child from D12 into the capitol be my guest." There is no way, no way your character would be able to travel to the Capitol, unless she was the daughter of one of the current victors of district twelve

[/b]. Not one you made up. Okay?

And just a tip for the future if you want to base a character off of another one, like how you have based her off of a video games character, you need to make them fit into Panem. You can't have them fit what suits you.

I am sorry if all this means you need to re-do your character, but you need to change what Rook has picked out, we say these things for a reason, because if we didn't have these rules then there would be no order to characters.

So after you have made all these edits reply back here and another staff member will take a look.

Thank you <3[/size][/justify][/blockquote]

Last Edit: Oct 5, 2013 6:49:08 GMT -5 by cass

StarScry Seam Resident 29 POSTS last seen Jan 10, 2015 12:32:50 GMT -5	Micaiah Illuminate (D12) [Delete her plz] Oct 5, 2013 12:25:15 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by StarScry on Oct 5, 2013 12:25:15 GMT -5 Ugh,I deem Micaiah a lost cause. Kill her with fire.