To be a Jay [Jay family plot]

text - thoughts - speaking - listening - other

[ooc] wip post [/ooc]

"You're warm."

Jabber clung to Fawn like a vice, wanting to hold onto her forever. However, the smell of food was luring him away from her warm embrace, and he situated himself at the table. Remembering his manners at the last moment, he pushed out a chair with his foot. However, Fawn had already sat down. "Take a seat, m'lady," he teased, picking up his cup like he were a Capitolite. He tried to act sophisticated, puckering his lips and twisting up his brows, but ended up looking like a clown. He did spill half the drink on the table, but hey? Who cared?

"Where's everybody else? I figured there would be some people up earlier than us," Jabber commented. He stood up and gathered some washcloths, wiping up the mess of fruit juice he had made. He then picked up the pitcher and refilled his glass. "Where's Mocking to annoy the hell out of us, huh?"

I awoke with a start, the last part of a dream still burned into my mind, that one single image I had seen from the Hunger Games. At the time I hadn't understood it, it had been so horrible, to watch as another human being killed another...and it was all for fun. I remember running out of the room crying, seeking the warm embrace of one of my brothers and sisters to comfort me. They had told me it was okay, they told me it would never happen to us, we would be safe, we would be together, and I believed them, I believed every word they said. Why shouldn't I believe what they said, they were my family, they had no reason do lie to me...right. My small eyes scanned the room searching for my sister, Fawn, laying in her bed but I didn't see her anywhere. I glanced at the clock and wondered where she could be so early, it was the weekend she didn't have to work, and that left only one other option...breakfast. I slipped my legs out of the bed, my feet not even scraping against the floor, and hopped down, my nightshirt and shorts a wrinkled mess. Apparently, I had been a little restless while I slept, probably the nightmares and my own fears, sleep was really the only time no one could help me, where I was a victim of the terrors of my own mind.

Throwing on a pair of socks I shuffled out of the room, rubbing sleep from my eyes, listening for the familiar sounds of my family. I heard a voice that could only be Stellar's, asking if anyone else had breakfast yet, and figured that was as good a time as any to appear. I walked in, still rubbing sleep from my eyes, and looked at my family either standing or sitting around the table. Fawn, Jabber, Mist, Stellar, and Mocking my family together in one place, just missing a few of my brothers and sisters and we would be complete. I took one tentative step into the kitchen just in time to watch Mocking's chair fall back to the floor with a crash. I let out a yelp and almost ran to his side to make sure he was okay, but he quickly rose up with a chuckle and said that he was a klutz. A frown crossed my face wondering why he would say that about himself, and I crossed the kitchen and took a seat at his side. A question formed on my lips, wondering why he would call himself a klutz but I bit it back and simply put my hands on the table waiting for him to place my breakfast infront of me.

Fawn was to busy...well...fawning over Jabber to do anything for me, Mist was just as young as me, and Stellar was well...he was Stellar. Mocking was the only one here that would give me breakfast, or at least the one I could count on to give me breakfast at the moment since his focus wasn't on anything in particular. "Good morning everyone, I said with a smile on my face, "I hope you're all doing well today." Not one of my more exuberant good mornings but with that dream still fresh in my mind I figured I would take things slow, wait for the rest of the family to come down and use them as a means to take my mind off of things. My family had always been the best medicine for avoiding violence, be it because they sheltered me or because they comforted me, they were always there when I needed them. "I wonder where the rest of the family is, what's keeping them do you think?"

Lost and scared...
Losing what he most desires...
...TURNS HIS LIFE AROUND....
Red Jay

Colour and images of my dream dissolve as I feel the waking world pull me into its grasp. I try to fight it, I try to pull away, begging for sleep to take me away again, but no matter how hard I fight against it, I get no closer, only further and further away. Finally I give up, letting consciousness consume me. But unlike the normal average 13 year old I do not open my eyes to see the brightening wall of my room as the sun begins to rise, I see nothing, nothing but the darkness that surrounds me, claiming me and my body in this hole of nothingness.

Blindly I pull myself out of my sheets that wrap uncomfortably around my legs. I fling the covers aside, instantly I feel the cool chill of air biting at my exposed skin and I suppress a shiver. My feet touch the cool wood of the floor of my room, sending shivers up my legs, wandering all the way through my body, until I was fully covered in the small bumps that symbolised goose bumps. Running a gentle hand over my arms feeling the bumps under my fingers, urging me towards the place where I would find a small wardrobe. I pull out a small jumper, hugging it around my small body, slipping my feet into some worn out shoes.

My room was the only place where I felt at ease, the only place where I could walk around freely, having memorised every crack and crevice. In my room I was in control of the darkness that haunts me. In my room I was the winner My fingers run along the smooth cement of my room wall as I search for the door knob that would lead me out of my fort and into the wilderness, (also known as the hallway). The cool metal of the doorknob finds my fingers and my hands clasps around it, tugging on it so that my door swings open, the hallway now facing me threateningly.

It’s okay, I can do this. Coaxing myself, I take the first step into the hallway, my door swinging shut behind me. I take another stumbling step. And then another, unit I am faced with the stairs, the next obstacle that I face. The next thing that may stop me from reaching my destination. The darkness that surrounds me seems to laugh at my hesitations, it’s silent wails of laughter filling my head, confusing me. Snap out of it. They are just stairs. Stairs you have gone down every day of your life. Just stairs, I remind myself, pushing the darkness’s laughter to the back of my mind.

It takes me a few minutes to reach the bottom but when I do I feel some confidence return to my stride. Again I glide my fingers along the wall, trying to navigate my way down the dark hallway. My fingers suddenly dip and I almost trip over, my feet stumbling underneath me. I feel the heat raising to my cheeks turning them a bright red. I knew that no one had seen me stumble, I didn’t hear a squeal of concern, or pounding of feet against the hard wood of the floor, but that never stopped the embarrassment the cursed through my body.

The sound of several voices slide over me and I strain my ears to listen. I hear Fawns voice, soft and delicate. Then Jabbers, his is more rough, deeper, more masculine. His voice was the least familiar. I hadn’t known him very well before darkness had taken over my sight. The last voice that flutters into my ears is Wess’s; "Slow down a little, you'll choke. And you know that will only make Ma come faster. Besides, you could always just grab the food and go eat in our room, I don't mind if it smells like cinnamon there. I'll grab the plate from you when you're done." His voice is light and playful as he speaks to Stellar.

I try to enter the room unnoticed, sticking to the edge of the room. But after a couple of moments I run into something, and the sound of metal hitting the wooded floors fills the room. The darkness around me grows darker, taunting me. Again my cheeks turn a dark shade of red, and I tuck my head, turning my sightless eyes towards the ground. “Uh… Hi.” I say in a small voice, trying not to let the family know how embarrassed I was from running into an object. This is where darkness wins. When I am out of the safety of my room. When I am in the open, for all eyes to fall on me.