Brokenhearted people ----> Kiah

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Brokenhearted people ----> Kiah Jun 12, 2013 5:30:20 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Jun 12, 2013 5:30:20 GMT -5

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Main 302a31
Thoughts BFC5C0p
Speech E6EEE7

The moonlight shone brightly and millions of sparkling eyes scattered the black clear sky. The night started to turn cold, sapping all the warmth from the earth. I felt small goose bumps formed on my arms and the sound of my chattering teeth field the night air. I wrapped my arms around me tightly trying to preserve all the body heat I had left; my numb feet carried me down toward the bar that hid behind a house. I rounded the corner and came to a standstill at the front of the pub, its rotten roof was shaggy and the building looked hostile and ragged. I pushed on the door and step into the building, warmth slowly spread through my body as I stood in the doorway taking in the sights. The flickering of candles casted shadows on the walls and the furniture was tattered and old. I felt a pang of jealousy as I watched a couple; their eyes were full of love and joy. I shuffled over to the abandoned corner and rest my head against the wall and closed my eyes.
“Have a drink, just one,” The voice in my mind taunted, ” I dare you.” The voice slid over my skin full of menace and hatred.

I shook my head in panic trying to rid the voice that tortured me. I felt my mind wander to the fateful, when this voice came alive, when this voice started to speak. I was stumbling towards my home with a bottle in my hand, the opaque liquid sloshing around in the clear glass bottle. I was drunk and had a cigarette in my hand, all thoughts a muddle. That’s when I heard them, the ghostly whispers and the laughs of madmen. From that day forth they have always been there, calling out to me and daring me to do stupid things. The memory slowly faded and I was left in the pub, a bottle of alcohol in front of me. I reached out cautiously and felt the cool glass under my fingertips; it was like the old days. I grasped the bottle and sat there looking in at my mind spinning. Could I, just one sip, I thought to myself, just like the old days. When life was fun and when I was a reckless boy. I felt my hand start to tremble, those thoughts spinning around in my head so fast. I help the bottle to my lips and let a small amount trickle into my mouth. I felt my mouth water as the fiery substance slid down my throat. I felt ravenous and I needed more to satisfy my needs from all those years I’ve deprived myself of this beautiful drink.

I felt the world spin as I left the pub, my face was alight with happiness and as I staggered down the old dirty street I truly had lost those voices. I dug deep into my pants pockets searching for the cigarettes I wanted so badly but the space was empty. I felt my heart tumble my knees I deep aching need spread through my chest. “Stop Adrian,” I scolded myself,” That’s a bad and ugly habit you have stopped.” I dropped my hand down to my side, my finger fiddled with a stray cotton thread. I yearned to feel the nicotine seep into my lungs and taste the sweet taste of cigarettes so badly but I knew it was something I went against these days. Suddenly I felt like I had been slapped in the face and realized the full effect of what I just did. I allowed myself to get caught up in my addictions and dreadful ancient habits, the ones that made me who I was now, the ones that pushed me over the edge. I felt my heart rate pick up and the biting stings of tears burn at the back of my eyes.

I felt my whole world crash and tumbled to the ground before my big blue eyes and the stepping stones I had created sank deep into the muddy water of the unknown. I wiped my eyes viciously, hating the tears that were to come. I let myself down and most of all I let my sweet gorgeous sister down. Legacy, where was I when she would need me, did she need me now? All I knew is that I didn’t want her to see me in my drunken state and disappoint her; I could handle to see her eyes so much like mine widen with disapproval. I heard the loud jaunting laughs echo around in my head, all I could do was let out my own hysterical laugh, deep and booming. I ran my hand through my hair as I felt a smile turn the corners of my lips upward.
“You’re pathetic and no one cares about you least of all your sister,” The voice was an barely audible whisper, sending a shiver down my spine.
“She cares about me and I care about her. She’s all I have left,” I screamed out into the night my words thundered around me.
I looked around hopelessly as I stood at the front door of my house, my heart heavy and thumping in my chest.

Bom-bom
Bom-bom
Bom-bom

I reached a tender hand out, my fingertips grazing of the metal doorknob. I paused as I thought about Legacy. What if she would despise me and hate me for what I did? Or what if she leaves the house? What if she leaves me? I shook my head and felt the stars staring down at me, judging my actions and the person who I had become. This isn’t really me, I thought helplessly to myself, I don’t just go out drinking and get wasted, what happened to all the self-control I had gained? I couldn’t handle it and I slumped back against the door all those worries weighing me down. I curled up on the step and felt the cement suck out my warmth as I gazed into the distance. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the wooden house the night slowly fading into blackness.
“Adrian?" A soft voice called out to me.

Template credits to Kiah <3

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Last Edit: Jun 29, 2013 22:26:21 GMT -5 by Deleted

k!ah
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#expensivetrash

Brokenhearted people ----> Kiah Jun 16, 2013 7:28:01 GMT -5

Post by k!ah on Jun 16, 2013 7:28:01 GMT -5

Legacy Swann

The grass I lay was cool, slightly damp from the moist air that surrounded me, pushing down around me. Small puffs of mist appear then disappear in my vision as I breathe in the cool night air. My fingers are splayed on the grass, feeling its blades fit into the creases of my palms, between my fingers, forming a sort of barrier around the bottom of my hand. A small smile slides onto my lips and I tug gentle at the closets blades of grass, feeling the refuse to be pulled away from their home, but my fingers refuse to let go refuse to let the blades of grass win. Tugging harder this time I feel the blade come free, showering the grounds with flecks of dirt.

My curious eyes study the night sky. I watch as the stars above me blink on and off, like fairy lights, in the markets. The stars seem too looked down up on me, studying me in a similar way to the way that I was studying them. They seem to ask me questions like, do you ever wander if the stories you are told as a child are true? Do you really believe that the souls of those who have passed create a new star in the night sky? Do you really believe that the brightest star in the night sky, is the soul of the one who loved you most?. My eyes narrow slightly as the questions fill my head, running over each other and turning my thoughts into a muddled mess. What if all those tales were true, what in the souls of the people who die do migrate to the stars? Are my parents up there? What about if he was up there?

Turing my gaze away from the sky I studied the grass. The beginning of tears formed in my eyes, but I hastily wiped them away. Not again. You have to stop this. He is gone. He is never coming back. Hauling myself to my feet, I wipe the dirt from my pants, hugging my jacket closer around my body. There was a tear down the sleeve of my arm, that let the cold air bit against my exposed skin, cringing slightly I turned down a pathway that I knew would lead me straight to my home.

The streets were deserted, as one would expect, walking around in the middle of the night wasn’t the most exciting idea to the people of District six. The only sounds that could be heard was the occasional snore of someone who slept peacefully wrapped up in their blankets or the shuffle of feet as a dopey person wandered around their house. I found the sounds comforting. I have never been a fan of silence it gives me too much freedom to let my mind wander, wander deep into unwanted thoughts. Thoughts that I tried so hard not to let into my mind, thoughts that taunted me in my sleep, and threatened to do the same in my waking hours.

The sound of my feet became muffled and more distorted as I walked across the grassy banks of a field. My home wasn’t in the inner part of the district, it was an outlier. Found on the outskirts of the place, where the weeds grew tall and the untamed branches of trees flung out in front of you without a seconds notice. I weaved my way passed the weeds, and other wild bushed until I reached a cement road that linked me to my home. The road was cracked and webbed with weeds that seemed to creep along the path, like a spider’s web, splayed across the cement. I smiled slightly my toes tracing one of the weeds as I made my way down the path. The moonlight gave my surroundings an eerie look, that might have frightened someone who wasn’t used to be this far out of the town centre.

I came to a halt, a few meters away from the house. A dark figure stood at the door. His arm was pulled out in front of him, and rested hesitantly on the door handle. At first a shot of alarm shot through me. Was someone trying to rob my home, id someone finally find out about my stealing habits, did they want payback? I moved a couple steps closer, trying to get a clear image of the man that stood at my door. He was tall, and muscles traced his arms. After a few moments realisation dawned on me. Adrian. It was just Adrian, my brother. I started to move towards him happy to see him, but something in the way he stood brought me to a halt. He looked different. His eyes were bloodshot and small, his shoulders slumped in an almost defeated way. His head was leaned back against the door, and he looked exhausted.

Sympathy shoot through me, mingled with alarm. The way he stood looked all too familiar to the way I used to stand. “Uh, Adrian?” I ask hesitantly taking a few more steps closer to him. He doesn’t move but I can see that he stiffens at the sound of his name. “Adrian, have you been drinking?”

✮ UPAT ✮

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Brokenhearted people ----> Kiah Jul 4, 2013 5:12:14 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2013 5:12:14 GMT -5

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Main 302a31
Thoughts BFC5C0p
Speech E6EEE7

"Uh, Adrian?” I could hear Legacy’s voice ring out to me and I felt myself cringe away, she shouldn’t have to see me in this state, “Adrian, have you been drinking?” I couldn’t avoid this so I turned my bloodshot eyes towards my sister, her orange hair was tied up neatly and she looked stunning as usual. I tried to avoid her gaze, I hated myself that she had to see me this way, it wasn’t fair and I couldn’t handle the fact that I let her down by having those stupid drinks. Those voices in my head were gone and I felt strangely alone, having to face my sister all by myself. I was ashamed and disgraced by my stupid actions, I should have been stronger and pushed those voices out of my head and bury them deep so they could control me. It was as if I was brainwashed whenever I heard those voices they sounded mesmerizing and reasonable. But no tonight I was going to take the blame and I would have to stand up to my sister’s anger only that she wouldn’t be to upset with me. She didn’t know about the voices, no one did and I would like to keep it that way.

I stood up straight on my two legs and stumbled my way over to where my sister stood. I could see a frown on her face and I felt my heart sink. Maybe it won’t be that easy to seek forgiveness from her tonight. I reached a hand out to her and rested it on her shoulder and leaned in and whispered, “I’m sorry Legacy. I’m so sorry,” my voice was slurred and I could feel myself shake as I waited for her response. Maybe just maybe she would forgive me, “I wasn’t strong enough. I was going to stop after one, I promise you.” I just kept rambling on to fill the silence and felt myself tense. I had no idea if this would be enough but I had to try. I just looked at her with pleading eyes waiting for her response. The silence grew and grew and I could hear the pounding of my heart, loud in my ears. She wasn’t going to forgive me I could feel it.

I knew my life has been harsh throughout the years and all I wanted to do was look after my sister but how could I do that if I could hardly look after myself. She deserved a better brother then me. Hell, she deserved anyone but me. I could feel the tears bite at my eyes but I held them back as I looked up with big eyes at my sister. Families forgive, right? Well maybe most do. I fumbled in the dark, looking for my sister’s hand. I grasped one of her hands with both of mine, they were cold but soft in my hands and I squeezed them tightly. The night was cold and the sky was dark but all I focused on was the person standing in front of me, the girl, my sister I loved with all my heart. Couldn’t she see I was trying to be the man she always hoped me to be. I just need her reassurance.

I sometimes wished I was dead in moments like this or wished you somewhere completely different to avoid situations and run ins. But know there was no avoiding this, I had to know and I had to feel that Legacy forgave me. I needed to be her strength not someone she couldn’t rely on, I needed to be sober not intoxicated and drunk. There was nothing in this world that I would want more then my sister. “Adrian, you stupid boy what are you doing?” it was like ice suddenly kissed my skin and a chill ran up my spine. No not them again I thought they were gone for now, I thought frantically. I didn’t need this right now. I needed to know if I was insane if I was different once and for all, “Legacy did you hear that?” my voice was a slur and I could feel myself being to rambled so I shut my mouth firmly waiting for her reply.

For some reason deep in my mind I knew I was different but I didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to believe that I could be insane and I couldn’t handle to disappoint her as much as I had already. I knew the battle I was fighting, well I was on the losing side. Soon I would lose my mind and lose sense of which I was, I could feel it. Those stupid voices wouldn’t leave me alone and I would lose sense of who I am and what I believe in. Most importantly I would lose my sister. No I couldn’t handle that so I pressed on, “Legacy please, please forgive me.” I looked straight into her blue eyes and pleaded with her, I just needed to know.

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