I Never Even Got You Back (Jack Lex)

For days and days I had been waiting to enclose my children into my arms, finally see their little faces, smiles and hear their little voices. Finally I also got some clearance about my own feelings for Faith. Finally I had at least admitted them to myself. Not to her but that might still come.
I've been waiting for so long it had actually started to physically hurt.

Then, I had barely been home for halt an hour a knock on the door made me get up and open it. But instead of Faiths beautiful face I came eye to eye with two stern looking, uniformed keepers.
All explaining that I had permission to take that trip to district eleven had fallen on deaf ears. They wouldn't hear me or tell me why they came, only that I'm "under arrest".
This could be everything so my heart instantly drops into my pants.
Will they whisk me away and I'll never seem my family again or tell Faith what I really feel about her?

They ask me to turn around so I do and while they put cold, iron cuffs around my dirty wrists, I see my mother appear in the doorway. Her jaw drops as she covers her mouth but the look in her eyes tells a tale.
"Don't worry, mom. I'll sort this out."
I try to calm her and myself. In vain. Both of us start shaking as my face contorts in mental pain.
"I'll come back." I shout at her. "Take care of Briar and Josh."

Then they pull me away from the place I belong.

Just when I think I'll never even get to say goodbye to Faith I can hear her voice out of the blue.
Pulling my shaky arms away from the peace keepers grip I turn to see her. Her expression is an exact replica of my mothers. She looks shocked, helpless, desperate as she screams my name.
Instantly I dig my heels in the dirt under my feet and shout back her name. "Faith!"
The horror in her eyes is almost worse than being dragged away from my family.
"I have no idea. It must be a mistake. I'll clear it up!" My own voice is breaking up just like hers because my throat tightens so much.
I've been to the detention center. It was hell. Pure horror. Screaming senseless torture all around me. Why I got away back then I don't know. But will I be that lucky again? Not likely.
Maybe this is about something completely different. Maybe from the time when I got my limp.
Trying to steady my breathing I force myself to smile, that doesn't really reach my eyes, at her.

"Don't worry. It's just a mistake."
Oh my, she's crying. If she doesn't stop I'll start, too. Tears are starting to spring to my eyes as they grab my arms again and force me to turn around and walk with them by knocking one of their clubs between ,my shoulder blades.
"Shit...I didn't do anything. I have papers for my trip to 11!" I scream at them but get no response.

Step by step I get lead away from them...her. I have to tell her now. Otherwise she might never know.
So I struggle to turn my head and look at her one more time to scream from the distance what's I should have told her a long time ago.
"I love you, Faith!"

The next knock hits me on the head,which hurts so bad that I see stars for a moment and don't dare to look back any more.
Her face is deeply engraved in my mind though.

No matter how hard they hit me I can hear her words over the thud of the club. 'love you'. I knew it all along. Her feelings were so obvious. Why did it had to come to this for me to be bale to express them when she's been waiting for so long to hear them from me or tell me.

What matters most is that she does. No matter what these peace keepers will be doing to me I now know that Faith loves me. That means the world to me. It means we belong together. It means she loves my kids and even if I don't return I can take this with me. But it also means that if I do return I can enclose her into my arms and give her a kiss that I've owned her for way to long.

They drag me away to who knows where. I merely stumbling along. Right now I should be crying but there's a faint smile forming on my lips that no peace keeper will be able to wipe away.
She loves me.