Staying {STRONG}//Axel
Oct 15, 2013 10:38:25 GMT -5
Post by circe murdock d4b 🌊 minie on Oct 15, 2013 10:38:25 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][bg=052439] Mist Jay  Do you know what it is like, when someone rips away a family member close to you? Do you know what it's like when your other half is sent to hell for no reason? I thought it would be impossible for me to ever know what that is like. I thought even if the impossible happens I would be able to just forget it. I hoped I would be able to stay strong for everyone. Now I can see that I am not as strong as I hoped I would be. I may be the weak link in our pack. Everyone thought that I was one of those people who never cried, never was able to build a river of feelings. Now everybody knows that I am weak that I can make a river of feelings flow straight through my heart and out my eyes. Nobody would ever question me again, of not having the feelings of a normal human being. I have opened up for the world to see and now I will never be looked at in the same way. My family, they had to drag me home in tears from the reaping. They had to tear me apart from the only one who ever was able to understand my complicated ways. He knew that I could be cruel and still have a heart. He knew that no matter what sort of shit I did I still was able to come back with a smile planted on my face and tell everyone in my family that I love them and really mean it. Now I sit on my bed, exactly like last games. I sit on my bed and cry my eyes out of pain that will never heal. I got over Jabber being sent there, it was so much easier. I guess I never was that close to him as Storm. He is still alive, and I know for a week or so he will kept alive for a cruell reason. Though as soon as he entered that hell hole, his chances would be as good as anyone elses, or maybe worse. They way I know him, he might not survive the bloodbath, but I couldn't afford to think like that because it will tear me apart. Sitting in the darkness and crying your eyes out, isn't a pretty sight. Your hair gets messed up and your eyes turn red. After a while you look like a zombie walking out of it's grave. The only thing that makes my experience worse, is that I feel like a zombie crawling out of his grave after millions of years. I felt older, older than I am. I felt like I was old enough to fall asleep and never wake up. If Storm were to never wake up then I will follow him and stay dead with him. I would give anything to see him one last time. Slowly I get out of my bedroom. I don't know how, because my legs felt like jello and they were capable of collapsing any secound. Though somehow I managed to walk myself to his former bedroom. I didn't know what I wanted to achieve with this. First I thought it would make me weak and tumble to unconsciousness. Then I saw something sticking out of his pillow. A book. How he loved books. How he would always have his stupid nose stuck in them. How I was so jealous of them and how I found many ways and reasons to destroy them and act like a jerk. Maybe...maybe I will read one, for him, to see why he liked them so much. I grasped the book between my arms and made my way back to my bedroom I share with my sisters. I began to read. Page 1. speech narration |
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