Looming Eyes [Kiah]

s o n j a arcopello.

The world was dull, all the colour drained: gone. I open my eyes only to be confronted with a world with no colour. It wasn’t my fault though. It was the nurses, they made me, and they practically shoved that pill down my throat. I felt my whole body tense. Where was she? Where was Ruby? I didn’t want to be on my own, not in this colourless world. I wanted to look up and see the bright yellow of the sun peaking though my window. I wanted to be able to open my eyes and see the soft green of my room. Not many of the rooms had colour, mine did though. I made them paint it, I told them that it helped, that it helped me relax, that it took away the voices. And it did, it helped. The soft green would remind me that I was still sane, that I was still myself inside this body.

“Ruby, Ruby where are you? I didn’t want to- they, they made me! I thought I had spat it out… but now, not the world is so dark, almost as though they turned the lights out… but how could they? It was day time, wasn’t it?” I whisper, hoping that Ruby could hear me, hoping that Ruby wanted to hear me. She usually avoided me at time like these, not wanting to come near me when my life was a dull place. I could feel the tears begin to form in my eyes as I am left lying in my bed in silence, on my own. The bed seemed so big when it was just me here. I longed for her to come, longed for her to warm the other side of the bed. “Ruby, ruby please…” I whisper desperately.

The first tears slipped pat the guard of my eye lids, slipping down my cheek, a salty trail left in its wake. Hastily I wipe the tear away. I didn’t need to cry over her. I was strong, she had told me that. Don’t cry Sonja, come one, pull yourself together. Taking in a deep breath I will the tears to go. After a while they stop flowing and I am left teary eyed to stare at the empty space next to me. She usually came when I cried; ready to pat my shoulder, ready to tell me that I am strong, that I am a tough girl… But she didn’t come, I was left to face this night in the dark on my own.

Maybe she was busy, it wasn’t her duty to be by my side every time I felt like I was going to break down. Sighing I try to push the thoughts of Ruby’s rejection out of my mind. I closed my eyes, plunging my world of harsh dull colours into pure darkness. It was better this way. This way I only saw one colour: black. Pulling my blankets closer around my thin body I prepare my body for a long night of tossing and turning. I never really slept that well, not since I lost my parents… When they died, my whole life turned around. I turned into a girl who was not recognisable; I was a totally different person, from looks to personality.

Suddenly a heavy weight collides into my body and scream fills the air. Only it is not my scream. "S-sonja!? I'm so sorry! I thought I was in my room!" The boy screeches. Surprised I twist around in my bed to see the short haired boy who lives in the room next to crouched down on the ground, his hands scrambling like rats to pick up the things that he had dropped. I stare at the boy, my mouth slightly open. I recognised him, that’s for sure, I recognised almost everyone in my ward… but his name… his name escaped me. I force my mind to think, to match a name to his face. Bender? Was that his name? No… his name wasn’t bender… Daren? Nope, but I was close… Declan! That’s was it! "Would you like one? It was only on the floor for a couple seconds.” It is now that I realise what the boy had quickly gathered off the ground. In his arms he held some bread. I frown. It wasn’t often that I ate bread, I wasn’t really keen on it.

“Um, no thanks, Declan. I am fine.” My arm pushes away Declan’s as he attempts to shove some bread into my hands. “yeah, um you definitely have the wrong room.” I add. “What are you doing wandering around the hospital at night? If you were caught… you could be shoved into that room of isolation. You know the one that’s all padded and white…” My voice trails off as I remember a time when I had been caught wandering around the corridors at night, The voices had told me to find a jug of water and drown myself. I had had the jug in my hand, and was about to dunk my head when the nurses found me… maybe my situation had been slightly different.. But I shrug my shoulders; my eyes study the darkened face of the boy in front of me.