Dear diary [Standalone]

Dear Diary,

I don't know what to do anymore. First Jabber was ripped away from our family, now Storm too? It's just not fair. Storm was the shoulder I cried on when Jabber died, he was the one who always told me stories, and I loved him so much. He's my little brother, I should protect him, but I can't, I can't help him here at home in district nine. He's out there, in that god damned arena, fighting for his life while all I can do is sit back and watch. I hate seeing him like this, this terrified child he has become.

I watched him yesterday help to kill the girl from district seven. She was close to death but even so, as she died, she screamed at my brother that she hoped he died and rotted in hell. I can't say that I blame her, it sounded like she'd been stabbed in the back by him. I thought to myself Storm, why would you do something like that? She's the same age as your twin for crying out loud.

The day he was reaped, after I left the justice building, I went home and cried for four hours straight, it wasn't fair, it wasn't fair that we lose yet another one out of the nest. Storms barely even old enough to leave the next, let alone fly away from it on his own, god, I wish his name hadn't been chosen. I feel like I'm slowly spiraling downwards, I've been having nightmares lately, most of them have involved Storm dying or killing people. I'm scared shitless for him. I don't want my little brother to die, just like I didn't want Jabber to die.

I found mama crying last night, it scared me a little bit because I've only heard her cry once and that was for Jabber, I can't imagine the kind of pain she's going through, to lose a child must be the hardest thing in a woman's life. I am never having children, I don't want to risk them being reaped ever. I also never plan on falling in love again, love is dangerous, especially when others know how to manipulate it and hurt you with it, I've had enough hurt for a lifetime.

Today, on the tv, I watched a little girl of twelve years old get burned alive. It was the most gruesome thing I think I've ever seen, apart from a few other tributes that have been burned alive. She was from district eight. That witch from one did it to her. I hope she pays for what she did and I hope the boy from eleven pays dearly for torturing that poor boy from five. He cut out his tongue! I don't know if I'll be able to watch much more of these games, they've been giving me nightmares which is why I'm up at like 11:00 at night writing to you, I had a nightmare earlier. I don't really want to talk about it though. Anyways, I think that's enough for tonight.

Love always

Fawn

Fawn closed her diary and tucked it away under the mattress, tears spilling down her face. She curled under her blankets burying her face in her pillow before closing her eyes and trying to fall back asleep.









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