letters to sanity }} wonder

Anonymous Girl,

I’ll start with this little tidbit. You question whether or not you were going to write to me, and yet here we are, with a wary scribble of, ‘To Whom It May Concern.’ However little and insignificant it may seem to scratch those five little letters on a line of shredded paper, let me tell you; in reality, you have made a life changing decision. Now that’s not saying that I hold within my hands the secrets to the universe, that would make things a lot more simple for all of us, no? But I do hold a little bit of intelligence and a lot of life experience that I can wield to you. I hope you take a little bit of comfort when you slide your nimble fingers through my daunting envelopes in knowing that the person you write this note to, is indeed, concerned with your issues. I am here, for you, at any time you may need.

You’ll be reluctant to know that there are many people with issues in this district, many of whom who wish to have the blood fall off their hands. There are many of whom who wish to fling themselves in front of the Capitol trains whence they come in, and many who have grown fond of household torture devices. This is the world, unfortunately, that we live in. Sometimes this thought takes days, months, and years to sink in. There are others in this darling town that will never know any different, those who believe that their problems are merely their own and won’t realize that the people next to them on the streets are fighting the very same battles. Many a person lives in perfect ignorance, letting him or herself slip into a sadness without trying to drown in their perfect sadness – I am not one of them.

Whether or not that fact makes you happy or sad is entirely up to you, though I believe that the fact that you even began scribbling against this beautiful page is sign enough that you know that there are others out there, those who are willing to help without a moments notice.

So why help? My dear, you question so much, when I am here to help you – but I am inclined to answer, to sooth the curious soul latching on to every thought and watching every movement of their lives passing by. I am, in a sense, the gatekeeper to the world that we live in, stopping those who are ever so inclined to walk in front of trains, and those who wish to fall from ropes. Do I think I am a God? No, not at all, I am merely simple passionate boy with a knack for the written word and the aspiration to help those who I walk by on a daily basis.

I challenge you to this – each day when you walk to school, count the faces that you pass that look as though they are not as happy. In a thirty-second walk, I once counted twelve. But me, I am simple. I wear a tie, every day; perhaps you could call it an obsession of sorts. There are at least fourteen different types of tea in my kitchen cupboards, all different flavors so I don’t get bored. A collection of quills line my desk, though I don’t use them for writing, merely to look at – everyone knows that a pen is much easier. They are merely collectable. I’ve been told that I have a button nose, but to me that is questionable, I leave it open to frequent debate amongst my friends and companions.

The fact of the matter is that I am merely human. Nothing insanely amazing, nor am I an important master, nor am I a Peacekeeper trying to catch children to whip harshly across the back – no, I have seen too much pain in this District and every time I see more I go to bed restless. There have been endless days where I do not sleep. There have been weeks where I want to remain in bed and rest in eternal slumber.

I am merely human, I want to help, if you want some help, I am here. The only person who can grab it is a little orphan boy who collects them for me, but don’t worry, he doesn’t have a prying eye. He’s just trying to live as much as you or I.

There is blood running down all of our fingers, whether figurative or literal, it is there. Each of us has hurt someone deeply, and it is our responsibility as humans to figure out and understand this, to love unconditionally and find the solution to love more. This is an endless cycle. Sometimes we need a little bit of help, and that’s perfectly fine, I am that help.

Z.