A 'Gray Jay's' tears [One shot]

Gray Jay

[insert lyrics here]

Does | Thinks | Says | Hears

Silence wrapped around me like a cloak, blocking out the screams of the poor children on the screen. I leaned against my husband, Blue, as the family watched one of our own be slaughtered. Why had I allowed myself to have so many children? We had eight children in total (We used to have nine); Wess, Stellar, Mocking, Jabber, Fawn, Storm, Mist, Red, and Violet. Jabber Jay used to be a part of our family, after his was killed in a horrific accident. That was three years ago. I'd never realized how much I thought of Jabber as a sixth son until I watched him die in front of me. I felt tears prick behind my gray-blue eyes but I blinked them away. I would not cry in front of my children. They are all silent as they watch the scene before them unfolding and I can see Fawn is almost in tears. I know that this will tear the younger ones apart, to them, Jabber was a brother, a caring, protective older brother.

As Jabber lay dying there by the cornucopia, his arm missing along with his ear, he spoke to our family. He thanked Blue and I for all we'd done and I felt a pain in my heart, it was like I was watching my son die. As he continued to speak, I learned something that shocked me; He and Fawn had been in love. No wonder it tore her up so much when he was reaped. Before all this had happened, I'd often hear her voice as she'd sing for Jabber. I understood what love was, I loved Blue more than anything else in the world (Apart from my children of course) and I would die if anything happened to him. This seemed to break Fawn into little pieces. She left the room, tears glistening in her eyes, and I let her go, giving her the time she needed to mourn. As my eyes returned to the screen, I noticed that one of Jabber's allies, Nightshade Bluesea from district 11, had made it out of the blood bath, but she was all alone. If she becomes victor, I will love her like a daughter. I told myself.

After a while, the family began to drift away from the tv, all of them going to mourn in their own ways. I knew I should find Fawn but I wanted to give her some time to mourn. As I drifted into the kitchen, I decided to busy myself by making some lunch. Blue followed me and watched as I took out ingredients for a big lunch. What are you making, love? He asked. I looked at him. Just something for lunch I replied. He nodded, his face grim. It had hurt him as much as it had hurt me to watch our Nephew be killed. I went back to work on making sandwich's.

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As I laid in bed that night, I found I couldn't sleep. Images of my nephew filled my mind to the point where I knew I had to get up. I sat up, being careful not to disturb my husband and padded softly downstairs. The moonlight shining through the window made everything eery looking and strange. It feels so strange not to have Jabber around I thought, sitting down at the table. A photograph of Jabber sat on the table, as if it were mocking me. I picked it up, it was an image of a few years ago when he first came to us. I looked at the image, feeling tears prick again in my eyes. This time, with no one around, I allowed myself to cry. My shoulder shook as I let it all out.

When I was done, I just laid my head against the table, feeling tired. who knew sadness could make one so tired. I found myself falling asleep.