'Ashes' scattered on the breeze[One-shot]

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely

Does | "Says" | Thinks

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, threatening to fall down my already red face as I walked along the hallway of the hospital. It had been two weeks, two weeks since I'd been released from that god awful place called the detention center and so far, life was sucking majorly. The other nurses had been kind to me when I'd returned but kindness only goes so far. They don't understand what I went through in that damned place, the fear I felt, the hunger. I hated it there. The detention center had taught me a lesson though, never again stray into the woods for the Capitol will find you. I wiped the tears furiously away and looked down at my hands. The finger nails were bitten down to the nubbins and my hands were covered in scars from the anger I'd taken out on myself when I'd first returned. I'd taken a knife and slashed at my hands. It had hurt but I told myself I deserved it, I was nothing, I'd done something bad and this was my way of punishing myself.

I couldn't focus on the patients face as I helped him take his medication, all I could see was my cell mate, Echo lane, and how sad she'd looked when I'd left. Ripred only knew how long she'd be stuck in that god awful place. She'd done what I'd done, she'd gone into the forest just out of curiosity and had gotten caught by the Capitol. She'd been thrown in with me and I felt bad for her. When she went in for interrogation, she wouldn't be able to speak, she was a mute. I'd been lucky with my interrogator, he'd been quick and actually seemed rather sympathetic, unlike most peace keepers who only cared about the fact that you'd committed a crime. I finished helping him take his medication and flicked off the light switch as I left the room, the pills would make him sleep.

Outside the hospital, through the window, I could see that it was already starting to get dark. I would be working late as there were some people from the Capitol coming in to be treated by the doctors here. I sighed and looked around. The bare, stark white walls reminded me earily of my cell and I felt like they were closing in on me. I needed to get out of here for a little while. There was a roof balcony I could go out onto. It was about ten stories above the ground and the fresh air would help clear my mind.

Cool wind buffeted my face and clothes as I opened the door to the roof. I was alone and the cold wind helped clear my head. I padded over to the railing and looked down. The district below was truly beautiful. I felt the tears coming back and finally allowed them to come out. I was just hurting and angry and upset and furious that someone would do that to me. Tears streamed down my face and I fell to my knees, leaning my head against the cool metal of the railing. My shoulders shook as I cried and letting it all out.

When the tears stopped flowing, I sniffled and wiped my eyes, knowing I looked like shit. I didn't care. I really didn't give a fuck as to what other people thought of me. As I walked back into the hospital, I saw a few of the nurses give me sympathetic looks. I couldn't look at them. Instead, I put a blank face on and continued on with my duties. I'd already fallen behind on my work. I buried myself in my work.

I didn't leave the hospital until three or four in the morning and when I did, I didn't know where to go. I couldn't go home, my step mom had already made it clear that I wasn't welcome there. My only other option was my moms house, on the other side of the district. I didn't really feel safe crossing the district at this time of night but I didn't really have a choice. I put my jacket on and pulled up my hood, hiding my blonde hair. I hurried across the district, keeping to the shadows as much as was possible. When I walked up to the door. the windows were all dark. What am I even doing here, it's four in the morning, nobody's going to answer the door I told myself but I was not the one in charge. Against my will, I reached up and knocked on the door, hoping against all hope that someone would answer.

After a few minutes, I heard someone unlock the door and opened it. I looked into the surprised face of my mom and hugged her tightly. Tears came to my eyes and she patted my head. "Are you okay honey?" She asked. I shook my head, the tears coming faster. "Come on in, you can sleep on the spare bed for tonight and explain in the morning" she said, I wiped my eyes and nodded. She led me upstairs and I plopped down onto the bed, my eyes closing the minute my head hit the pillow. I was so tired that I was out before my mom closed the door. For now, I was safe and cared for, that was all that mattered at the moment.

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
Louder, louder than a lion
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR