d4 // elaine alice duran // wip

They all can hear sound, have the loudest of cries vibrate deep within their ears and feel at home, somtimes even want to escape from it all. They put their hands up to block out the sound, I put my hands up to my ears to block out the isolating silence that wraps around me so thickly, it will never let me go. The endless ringing that continues every second of the day, surrounding me like the very air that I breathe in so intently. Every bit of it has meaning, it has a meaning of which I will never fully understand. They move their fingers in front of my face, as though it has any meaning at all, the constant distorting of the fingers as messages come across to me through such a silent language, sometimes, the endless quiet hurts really bad. I don't know why, though.

They won't tell me the joke that everyone seems to laugh about, or the rumor that I would like to hear, just once, so badly. It's so childish, to run out into the water, with silvery-blonde hair floating behind you, and just to jump into the silver-crested waves. And how the others would laugh at me, as if they already don't, as I flailed around in the blue water. Oh, how they would laugh as I would sink to my death, my pale head dashing upon the sharp stones that I feel with my bare feet below me. And by then, they wouldn't even realize that I was dead.

"Where'd the strange girl go?" one voice would cry out against the rest, just a small pinprick of light against the otherwise pitch-black backdrop that separates the normal girls, with their normal lives and days. No day is ever normal for a girl like me, every day brings new things that continue to baffle me, completely fill me to the brim with utter confusion and mocking comebacks that will never come out of my mouth. They don't hear me talk, they never will. It's my little secret, the devil of a thing that lives inside of me. You see, I used to try speaking, slurred words emphasized by a child's smile and crooked teeth. I saw their stares though, the way that people would look at me as I would pass them. How hard is it to talk when you can't hear the sound of your own voice? You just feel your mouth moving and that's it, that's all you know. It's quite odd, to be honest.