Deirdre District 11 [Done]

Precious memories how they linger,
How they ever flood my soul.
In the stillness, of the midnight.
Precious sacred scenes unfold.

Name: Deirdre Haddyn
Age: Seventeen
Gender: Female
District/area: District Eleven

I step into the old, ran down house. The memories I have of this place scattered on the floor in the rusty, old mirror that has shattered in to pieces. The memories flee from me not wanting me to revisit them. I never wanted to revisit them, but there comes a time when everyone has to. I shiver slightly as a chill crawls down my spine. I sit down on the floor Indian style. My feet crossed across my lap. My heart starts pounding rapidly under my chest as my breathing becomes labored. The sound of my heart echoes inside my skull causing my head to throb. My hands shake slightly as I prepare myself for what I'm about to do.

[/color] Be brave Deirdre. I think to myself as I pick the first piece of the mirror up. I close my eyes allowing the memory to fill me.

I'm five years old. I'm old enough to start school.

(Eh, I never liked school much, but I don't think anyone does.) My long, dark brown hair is in a single braid down my back. My bright, blue eyes scan around the room. My nice white dress falls right below my knees. A big smile is plastered to my face as I sit silently in class waiting for the teacher to arrive. A guy sits two seats away from me. He looks familiar, but I'm not sure where I recognize him from. I walk over to him wanting to talk to him. I'm not shy. I want to make friends. Everyone wants to make friends right? Most people I know aren't good at talking to people, but I'm different. I love talking to people. I want to get to know people just like my mom. I stop beside his chair. "Hey, I'm Deirdre Haddyn, what's your name?" I ask quietly not wanting anyone else to hear me. "I'm Yvar." He replied barely audible, "Yvar Romal." I smile at him and start laughing slightly. Maybe I don't know him, but I hope he will be my friend. "Can we be friends?" Please, please say you'll be my friend. I always wanted to start the school year off with at least one friend. "Friends? I think we can be friends. Mom always say it was best." My heart pounds under my chest as butterflies dance around in my stomach twisting my insides. "Yay! We can play game later." I reply ecstatically as the memory fades away.[/blockquote]

I open my eyes. I can feel the huge smile that's plastered to my face.[/color] That was one of the best days of my life. I met one of my best friends ever, and we still are best friends today. My eyes scan the room silently. I search from one corner of the house to the other as the tears form in my eyes. No, don't cry yet. More memories are to come. Stay strong Deirdre. I think to myself as I lift a shaking hand to my eyes to wipe the tears away. I slowly run my hands along the floor picking up pieces of the mirror as I go. Small shards of glass cut into my hands causing blood to gently form around them. I'll need to clean this mess up later. I pick up another piece of the mirror and stare in it. My insides start feeling warm and fuzzy. The faint sound of my heart echoes in the silence as I fall face first into a dreamland.

I'm eight years old. I'm out working in the orchards. The hot sun is baring down upon me causing my clothes to be drenched in sweat. My shoulder length brown hair is plastered to my face. Sweat drips off my face silently as it drips to the ground without making a noise. Leaves, and dirt roughen my smooth hair.

I'm going to need a bath when I get home. I laugh to myself. I sit on a branch high in the orange tree. My eyes scan the orchards looking for any sign of a peacekeeper. (I hate peacekeepers. I hate everything about them, but I don't dare to say that out loud.) I can't be caught not working because it will only cause punishment to happen. "Deidre, is that you?" A soft, quiet voice asks. I look around peaking my head through all the trees as I start picking more apples from the tree. My eyes quickly move back and forth trying to locate the voice. "Over here." The voice speaks Gain. I turn my head to the left and spot Yvar sitting in one of the branches. (We both were small, so we both had to climb the trees.) A smile appears on my face. "Hey Yvar. How are you?" I keep my voice quiet because I don't want anyone to hear us talking. "I'm alright. Mom said we could play games later after work is over." "Really?" My voice is louder than I meant for it to be. He nods his head. Once the work day is over, we went to his house and played tag way into the dark.[/blockquote]

It would be nice if Yvar was here with me right now. I take a deep breath trying to calm myself down. I never realized how painful it would be to sit here now with almost everything I loved and cared about gone. It all happened so fast, and somehow I survived. I'm doing good by surviving. Pull yourself together, Deirdre. You came here with a purpose. Blood drips gently around the shards of glass in my hands. I force a smile on my face. It has been so long since I've smiled a real smile. I miss the feeling. I miss turning my lips up towards the sky. I miss the joy I felt every time I laughed. I sometimes wish it was still possible to have a real smile. I don't think I'll ever smile again. I stare at my reflection in the tiny shard I'm holding. I look like I haven't slept in ages. I crack a real smile before it quickly fades away.

I'm ten years old. My long, dark brown hair is in double braids down my back. My face is worn. A smile doesn't even exist on it. My shoulders are hunched over slightly from all the work I've been doing. My fingers ache from picking apples every single day. My legs cramp from climbing into the trees all the time. My white dress falls below my knees raises up every time the wind blows. My black dress shoes does nothing to keep my feet warm. I sit in class listening to the teacher talk about the history of Panem. I look around the room. My heart pounds rapidly under my chest. My breathing becomes fast and shallow. My hands become clammy. For some reason, the teacher wants us all to stand up and introduce ourselves to the entire class. (I was never shy. I just hated talking in front of everyone. I developed s stuttering problem over the years, and I tend to be made fun of.) "Deirdre, you are up. Tell us a little about yourself." I slowly stand up. My breathing becomes faster. The world around me starts spinning. My eyes scan the room quickly looking for Yvar, or anyone I talk to. Finally, I spot Yvar. Just talk to him. Ignore everyone else. Don't listen if they laugh. It's all going to be fine. "My n-n-name is Deirdre. My mom's n-n-n-name is Isha. My dad's n-n-n-name is S-s-Silas." Tears roll down my face as the class starts laughing at me. "Stop laughing at her!" Yvar yells in the distance.

I stare at the floor unable to move. Tears run down my face dripping silently on the floor. My long, dark brown hair sticks to my face from the tears and sweat. The sweat mixes with the tears. It runs into my mouth leaving me with a salty bitter taste. I wish this wasn't a memory. I wish it was all just a dream. I throw the piece of mirror against the ground as hard as I can. It shatters into millions of tiny shards scattering across the floor twirling in the distance like a ballerina performing. Each piece is in sync with the other. "Yvar, I'm sorry. Please forgive me." I cry softly. A river flows from my eyes forming a puddle on the floor surrounding me threatening to drown me. The tiny pieces of the mirror floats around me. I want them to float away, but I force myself to snatch another jagged piece of mirror before it escapes. I stare into it forcing myself to remain strong. Everything will be alright. Just keep smiling.

I'm twelve years old. I'm sitting by the front door with my sister listening to my parents argue. My short, dark brown hair gently blowing in the wind. My eyes wide like saucers. My chin dropped to the floor. My white blouse stained with old sweat. (My mom washed the shirt over and over again, but the stain wouldn't leave. It held on for its life.) "No, you listen to me. She's eleven years old. She can't be with him. I know he's the same age as her, but I will not allow my daughter to be with him. His parents are troublemakers, and he will be one too. I will not have him turn my daughter into a filthy piece of trash!" My dad's voice rising to a yell. My hands tremble at my side. "Silas, listen. Deirdre deserves a friend. Yvar is the only friend she has. She can hang out with him if she wants to. I will not stop her." I stare at my sister wishing it all would end. "Deirdre, just ignore them. Secretly visit Yvar if you really want to see him." Sendra, my sister, whispers quietly as she places a hand on my shoulder. "It is final! Deirdre will not be allowed to see Yvar anymore. I don't want our daughter to hang out with a filthy scum!" My dad screams into the house. Tears roll steadily down my face. I stand up. "You can't stop me from seeing my friend!" I yell before I take off running into the distance.

I slam my fist on the ground as hard as I can. The shards of the mirror around my hand bounces slightly. "Why couldn't they understand that I needed a friend? I was happy when I was around him! Yvar is my friend, and he always will be even though it's against my parents will!" I scream into the darkness off the house. I curl up in a ball bringing my knees close to my chest. A river flows from my eyes flooding the floor. My sobs slice through the darkness like a sword. I'll never understand why they hated his family so much. I rock back and forth willing my mind to calm down. The memories of my parents screaming breaks my heart. I always knew my dad hated me, but I never thought it would show that much when all I wanted was a friend to just be a friend with. I reach a shaky hand out and grab another piece of mirror. The house starts spinning around me making me feel sick. It's a memory. It's not real.

I'm sixteen years old. My long, dark brown hair falls to the small of my back. Sweat is dripping off my face falling to the ground. My muscles twitch uncontrollably. My arms shake at my sides. My light brown shirt is drenched in sweat. I wipe the sweat from my brow before I toss a sack of apples over my shoulders to carry it to the place with the other sacks of apples. My arms ache. My back aches. My entire body aches. "Deirdre?" A quiet voice asks behind me. I know the voice. I can never forget the voice of Yvar. He's my best friend ever. I haven't had a chance to talk to him in a while. My dad has been watching over me like a hawk. He doesn't want me to talk to Yvar anymore although I sneak out to talk to him. "Is Isha, or Silas around?" "No, I don't think so." I reply quietly hoping they aren't around. I wish they would let me talk to him without fear. "I want to talk to you. I don't care what Silas says. We are friends, and I don't think he should be able to stop us." A smile appears on my face. I'm glad he wants to talk to me. I really want to talk to him, and I don't care what my dad says anymore. I will talk to Yvar, and he can't stop me. "Dad can't stop me from talking to you. I don't care what he says anymore." I won't let my dad ruin my life anymore. He's done enough damage, and today I'll stand up for myself.

I lay curled up in the ball wishing I would have never came here. I was stupid by doing so. I knew it would be painful relieving the memories that I wish never existed at times. I always thought pleasing my dad would be the best, but it wasn't. I had to stand up for myself. I wasn't the little kid I once was. I'm not the innocent child I was. I'm almost an adult. I'm almost old enough to live by myself, and I waited too long to stand up for myself. I let him push me around, and I regret it. I wish I would have broke free earlier. I could have saved everything. I could have made changes in my life, but no. I was trapped by my dad. I didn't want to hurt him, so I hurt myself instead. I can't change the past though. I pick up the last big shard of the mirror. I take a deep breath as I block out the world around me. I lay flat on my back and stare at the ceiling.

It was yesterday. I just turned seventeen years old. I stare at my reflection in the rusted mirror in my room. My dark brown hair falls about an inch below my shoulders, and it's slightly curly. My eyes are dark blue, and are shaped like an almond. My nose is crooked because I broke it three days ago. I fell out of a tree while working. My mouth forms a soft, gentle smile. I believe everyone would want to be around me when I'm smiling like this. I wear a blue blouse and black dress pants to prepare for the party my mom is having for me. (I never liked parties. I hated them especially the parties that are for me.) Dad is going to freak. I invited Yvar because he's been my friend since I was five. We've talked so much, and I'm grateful for it. He's even helped me sneak out to be with him. I walk to the kitchen where the guests are starting to arrive. It's just a small family get together. I walk to the door and spot Yvar walking up. My dad appears at my shoulder, and that's when all hell breaks loose. "Deirdre Haddyn! I warned you not to hang around him. I told you he's no good, and you deliberately disobeyed me! This party is over!" "I hate you! I honestly hate you! I never want you in my life again! Just leave me alone!" I scream as I run through the house knocking things over. Glass shatters as it hits the floor. I run out of the house, and Yvar follows.

I slowly force myself into a seated position as I stare at the house I tore up. My parents are nowhere to be found. My sister is gone, and I don't care where they are. I don't care if they return or not. It would ruin my day if they showed up. I just came here for one reason, and I don't even remember why. I never thought I'd relieve all this. Anger surges through my veins as my hatred towards my parents grow stronger. I slam my fist into the ground shattering what's left of the mirror. My sobs echo throughout the old house. "Deirdre?" A quiet voice asks from behind me. I know the voice. I don't have to turn around to face the person to know it's Yvar. "Are you alright?" He asks. "No, I'm not. I ruin everything." I cry loudly. "It's going to be alright. I am here with you, and I won't leave. I promise." His voice is calm and quiet. He places his hand gently on my shoulder. "I won't let Silas bother you ever again."




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