real- or fantasy? -- Finny

A thin layer of snow covered the pale grey material of the stone that which I walked upon. My feet barely made a sound as I trudged down the endless sheet of white, my eyes squinting slightly against the frosty breeze. My breath is small clouds growing bigger and then shrinking the repeating the process once again. I watch as the small drops of water from those small clouds, ones that would just vanish into thin air after a few moments. It was fascinating to watch as the white mist disappears only to be reformed with the warm air from inside my body is once again released into the cool air of my surroundings.

Then I am no longer focused on the small clouds of mist before me. I am focused on the building that grew like and endless sheet of stone before me. I could feel the heat leave my body as my eyes watched the building grows bigger and bigger until I could no longer see the top. My feet bring me to a halt, my body not sure if it should continue down this road towards the place that is home to the men in white uniforms. I wanted to go in there, I wanted to scream to the men that my family, the people I love, are no longer human, but people who are more alien like that humanistic- but something stops me.

What if they didn’t believe me? What if they just laughed at me and sent me back down the road, back towards them, towards my family? I didn’t want to go back, I had had enough of them, the people I used to know, which not just seem like total and utter strangers. My mind races. This wasn’t the first time I had come here. For a long time now I have found , myself walking down this exact path, my feet stopping me every time I got to close. I wanted to tell them, to shake some sense into my family- but I didn’t want to say anything at all to the men in white. They weren’t nice people, and I have seen what they can do to people who annoy them and I wasn’t ready to face their wrath at my silly accusations. I never was. Each time I would stand here, in the freezing cold, in the boiling sun, in the pouring rain, on the perfect day- and each time I would just contemplate my situation before turning tail and running down the street I had just walked up with a confident stride.

“Ugh! I can’t do it! I just can’t! Fucking hell!” Frustration fills me, and I feel as though I could punch a wall, to feel that pain would release the building rage of emotions. But instead I just tuck my hands into the pockets of my worn coat, my fingers curling into fists as I turn away from the intimidating building and back to the streets that would lead me to the place that I called my home. I didn’t want to turn around, I really didn’t- but I couldn’t, I couldn’t bring myself to walk into that building, I couldn’t bring myself to toss the names of my family at the waiting man, I couldn’t throw away the only people I loved, even if at the moment we were going through a rough time. They were still my family, and it was my job- no matter what, to protect them.

That’s when I took off, my feet pounding against the snow covered ground, my heart racing in my chest, my mind racing just as fast.