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Raseri
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last seen Dec 5, 2023 15:35:48 GMT -5

mayor of bootyville

pick up the pieces // cameo Jul 8, 2013 0:08:55 GMT -5

Post by Raseri on Jul 8, 2013 0:08:55 GMT -5

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What have I done?

It’s warm in here under the tattered old quilt, but I still can’t sleep. My fingers fidget nervously at the frayed edge of the blanket, picking at the bare threads. I’ve been staring at the ceiling so long that those little spots are floating around in the blackness, the things I always told Eva were fairies (although I’m not sure she believes it anymore.). Beside me, Desmond is out like a light, and I’ve tried counting his breaths until my eyes get too heavy to see his chest rise and fall (seventy-one, seventy-two, seventy-three), but nothing seems to be working. The crickets usually lull me into a slumber better than anything, but now their areeep, areeep, areeep rings too loud in my ears for me to have any hope of drifting off. I’ve got to get up, or I’ll have no sleep tonight, I think, sliding out from under the covers. The wooden floor is cold on my leathery bare feet as I tread down the hallway, the creak of my footsteps echoing off the walls in the silence of the house.

"Why can't you just do like the rest of us?" I had yelled, standing over my sister as the blood crept into her cheeks like fire. ”It’s like you don’t even know that we’re here anymore! You’re part of a real family, Iona. A real one, and you need to pick your nose up out of that book long enough to realize it!” The outburst had all but come from nowhere, just a random spurt of hormones and anger brought on by the stress of work and everything else, and I could feel the whole house fall silent as six sets of eyeballs flicked over to look at me. Tears welled up in Iona’s brown eyes--Mom’s eyes--before anyone could stop them, and soon she was running into her room, clutching the book to her chest. ”Nice going, idiot,” Toby had muttered.

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Her door is unlocked now; she must have let Eva in before she’d gone to bed. The metal doorknob steams around my sweaty palm when I turn it and open the door slowly, trying and failing to keep the hinges from squeaking loudly as I enter. Evangeline is asleep on the side closest to me, so I creep around to the other side of the mattress, careful not to disturb her. Iona’s long hair is splayed out around her head on her pillow in a tangly mess, but she looks pretty when she sleeps, and real peaceful too. She sleeps with her mouth closed, not like Toby, who drools sometimes even though we’d never tell him, or like Adrian whose lips are always parted for an eight-hour symphony of snores to pour through.

”Iona…” I’d said, immediately feeling my heart deflate a little, but she was already behind a locked bedroom door, and I knew she wasn’t going to let me in. ”Iona, I’m sorry!” I’d hollered, running a hand through my hair, but I wasn’t sure she’d heard me, and even if she had, she wasn’t answering. I didn’t see her for the rest of the day, no matter how many times I tried to get her to open up that door.

”Iona,” I whisper, shaking her lightly by the shoulder. The floor pushes against my knees when I kneel, and although it’s uncomfortable, I don’t move since I’m too afraid of making it creak more. If my aunt and uncle wake up, we’ll both be in trouble, but I know I need to fix things tonight, or there’s no way I’ll be able to sleep. What I did was wrong, and I need to let Iona know I’m sorry for it. She’s my sister, my own flesh and blood, and you can’t just go around hurting your family like that. Not when you’re the big brother, the person they’re supposed to be looking up to. ”Iona, come on. I need to show you somethin’.”

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"i shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
i lift my lids and all is born again.
(i think i made you up inside my head.)"

Cameo {RIP Charlie}
Mentor

3,020 POSTS
last seen Apr 14, 2024 7:07:33 GMT -5

#It'sAPoundSymbol

pick up the pieces // cameo Jul 13, 2013 15:36:31 GMT -5

Post by Cameo {RIP Charlie} on Jul 13, 2013 15:36:31 GMT -5

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« Iona Holbrook »

There was this form of escape for Iona to bury her face within a book. The informational books expanded her mind to understand more things, but those were limited with the Capitol not needing workers in District Eleven to be intelligent. There's plenty of stories to consume though and those were just as enjoyable. For as long as someone could keep their eyes focused on the words the longer they were surrounded by a different environment, completely forgetting about their life around them. It was sort of becoming a talent with how long and focused Iona could get into a book, blocking out the world around her and experiencing through a book.

When Iona's older brother Emery suddenly grew very upset with her lack of communication with the outside world it had hit a soft spot within her heart. Well Iona was already the sensitive type, but Emery's reasoning was one thing she was certain she had a fault of. There was the horrible obsession with reading, like her form of a drug. Even when Iona wasn't completely distracted by an interesting book words rarely escaped her lips. It was obvious that Iona was the most distant member of the family, she couldn't help being a quiet mouse.

The anger had started off with a question of why Iona couldn't be like the rest of the family as Emery had asked, why she couldn't be normal was how she toke it though. She had attempted doing that, putting the book down and joining the conversation. Even when that happened though it was difficult for anyone to notice, Iona would still stay quiet unable to cut in to share her opinion. Sometimes a pause would happen, but even that wasn't enough for her to feel confident to say something. The last thing Iona wanted to do was interrupt someone. Like now, with her inability to take Emery's pause and interject, instead her older brother continued.

Certainly Iona spent the majority of her time in a book, but she was aware of the family around her. How to act around her family was never given, she was only a toddler of three or four when their parents had disappeared, she never had a chance to learn from her mother. The aunt and uncle caring for them now were nice, but Iona never formed a relationship with them like parents, and she was pretty sure none of her other siblings had either. After all she was too nervous to speak around her entire family, as if they were a group of classmates at school.

Just a few sentences had crushed Iona's heart, and as much as she attempted to fight it tears were filling her eyes and blurring her vision. The worst part about the entire thing was that she didn't know what to do, her entire life she had been a quiet bookworm. There was nothing left for Emery to say but anger was still plastered to his face, Iona had no clue what had suddenly brought this on. It was impossible for her to say anything, her throat was tight and cracky, and her eyes were burning with tears. Unsure what else to do Iona toke a sprint to her room where she immediately locked the door in order to be alone.

Silence filled the household for a while, the entire family had witnessed what had happened and were all speechless. Now Iona was filled with embarrassment, and of course disappointment in herself. Within half an hour guilt had sunk into her older brother that caused this pain, a light knock introduced the visitor. No words came from Iona for a response, she didn't even move a muscle and simply watched the locked door from the comfort of her bed. An apology was brought to most likely form some ease, take away the pain her just caused...but it didn't.

With nothing following the apology it didn't take long for Emery to realize she wasn't going to answer him and gave up to return to the living room. It was still early in the day, but Iona did not budge from her bed. Occasionally she would pick up her book in attempt to distract herself, but tears would quickly block her vision as Emery's words floated around her brain. A few times a family member attempted to get Iona to open the door, but nothing worked and Iona stayed silent. It wasn't until bedtime that the door was finally unlocked for young Eva to enter, Iona wasn't going to stick her younger sister on the sofa to sleep.

With all the crying that filled the day it toke no time at all for Iona to drift off to sleep, and luckily Eva didn't even attempt to get her to talk. Unexpectedly Iona was awoken by Emery, but his facial expression clearly illustrated her felt bad and wasn't here to give her a longer lecture. Her older brother wanted to take her somewhere, and without questions Iona carefully got out of bed avoiding waking up young Eva. A long nightgown covered her, easily appearing to be a simple dress, so only shoes and a light jacket was needed. She had no clue where Emery was going to lead her.

Love, Family, Silence, Books, Life

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Last Edit: Jul 25, 2013 11:29:49 GMT -5 by Cameo {RIP Charlie}

So Many Different Personalities

Raseri
Career Tribute

552 POSTS
last seen Dec 5, 2023 15:35:48 GMT -5

mayor of bootyville

pick up the pieces // cameo Jul 16, 2013 21:00:04 GMT -5

Post by Raseri on Jul 16, 2013 21:00:04 GMT -5

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Uncle Gabe had yelled at me real good once, when I was little.

We have this little garden on the side of our house, nothing real special, just a little patch of dirt big enough to grow a couple of cucumbers and carrots that Aunt Susan had planted with a few seeds she had stashed away. At the end of every summer, about four cucumbers would grow, and four or so carrot tops would pop up out of the ground for us to pull out (you have to loosen them up with water and a fork first, she taught us, or they’ll break.). We always ate better in the summer because of that garden, because you could do a lot with carrots and cucumbers, if you knew how to make them stretch (and my aunt always did). You could make soup, or bread, or you could eat them raw if you wanted to, anything made with cucumbers or carrots was always good when she was the one cooking.

One summer—I’d probably been about six or seven—I went outside real early in the morning, thinking I’d surprise Aunt Susan by picking those carrots before she and Uncle Gabe woke up. I poured water on the dirt and loosened them up with a fork before pulling them out, just like she’d told me to. I ended up with four carrots, and even though they were a little smaller than I’d hoped they’d turn out to be, I felt good about doing something like that all by myself. Dusting the dirt off my jeans, I went back inside to wash the carrots and pull the little root hairs off before laying them on the table, waiting excitedly for my aunt and uncle to wake up so she could smile at me and tell me what a good boy I was, and so he could ruffle my shaggy hair with a big hand and say, ”’Atta boy, Emery. You’re growin’ up quick, ain’t’cha? Just like your daddy. Heh heh heh heh.”

But it didn’t happen like that, because it turned out that the carrots hadn’t been done growing. My uncle came into the kitchen and saw me sitting there at the table, all smiling eyes and innocence, with immature carrots. And instead of the smile I wished for, I got a frown, and his big hand ran through his hair instead of messing through mine. ”What’s the meanin’ of this, boy? Did you pick these carrots?” he asked. I wasn’t smart, but I wasn’t dumb, and I knew that something was wrong, so I shook my head at him. No, I didn’t do it. But Uncle Gabe wasn’t dumb neither, and he saw right through me like I was glass. ”You’re lyin’ to me, boy. These ain’t done cookin’ in the ground yet. They’s still babies, you hear?” He yelled at me then, and told me how it was my fault we wouldn’t be having carrot cake or soup or anything that year. And as if I didn’t feel bad enough already, I got a slap across the bottom to teach me for lying at him. I went to my room crying myself back to sleep, and I felt so sorry about all of it I didn’t even come out when Aunt Susan called us for supper. My belly growled and grumbled at me all night long, but I still didn’t eat anything until the next day.

I didn’t want Iona—or anyone in the family, for that matter, not even Toby—to feel like I had that day. After what I’d done to her, I couldn’t help but feeling I’d done some damage that was gonna leave a scar, and I was afraid she wasn’t gonna like me anymore. What if she didn’t want to trust me after all that? I hoped tonight would mend any rips and tears in our relationship that I might’ve caused, because when you lived in a world where everything you owned could be taken away at the snap of a Peacekeeper’s fingers (the way Ma and Pa got us taken away), you had to hold real tight to the few things you controlled, you and you alone. The Capitol could take a lot of things, but they couldn’t even touch the love a family had. Only we could break and fix that. Just us.

Iona got out of bed without a sound and put on a jacket, her quiet little feet slipping into a pair of shoes. My steps were like the thud of giants’ feet next to hers, which made about as much noise as a moth’s wings, and it made my six feet and two inches feel more like seven feet and two hundred fifty pounds. Waving for her to follow me, I backed out through the door and crept out into the kitchen on my tip toes. I held the screen door open for Iona as she passed through and then closed it slowly, since it would slam if I just let it shut on its own. I didn’t dare let a word through my mouth until we were well away from the house; I was convinced that my uncle could hear a trespasser in his sleep.

I led her through a field or two until we came to a clearing on a little hill. There I plopped down cross-legged in the grass, patting the ground beside me for Iona to sit there. A hundred gajillion words swam around in my head, but I didn’t know how to start what I wanted to say to her. ”Hey, um… you alright?” I finally asked, desperately hoping that she was. ”I mean, that's not... What I should say is... No, what I meant was, I didn't mean it. That thing I said before.” The words came tumbling out of my mouth before they were ready, and it ended up sounding like complete gibberish. I hoped she'd get it, though. She had to get it. I needed her to. My eyes pleaded for understanding. ”I-I'm terrible,” I mumbled, breaking eye contact and looking at the ground in front of me instead. I cleared my throat and picked at the grass, pulling it out of the dirt and piling it up. ”I'm a bad brother. I'm really sorry.”

thinking, doing, hearing, ”saying,” other

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"i shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
i lift my lids and all is born again.
(i think i made you up inside my head.)"

Cameo {RIP Charlie}
Mentor

3,020 POSTS
last seen Apr 14, 2024 7:07:33 GMT -5

#It'sAPoundSymbol

pick up the pieces // cameo Jul 25, 2013 12:32:43 GMT -5

Post by Cameo {RIP Charlie} on Jul 25, 2013 12:32:43 GMT -5

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« Iona Holbrook »

There was something very special about well written stories, that saying it actually captivates someone. If that could be done it was easy for the reader to place themselves in the main character's shoes, if it first person or even third. The long ones called Chapter Books were the ones famous to Iona for having the best stories, the ones that would make her feel like she was the main character, experiencing those events. They always had at least someone surrounding them that unconditionally loved them, sometimes not discovered towards the very end but had always been there. The best part about it at all though, Iona's favorite part was the happy ending. Not always gushy fairy tale happy ending, but still always a happy one.

One day Iona knew her happy ending would reach like in the books...she always hated the books that ended horribly. But that wasn't her type of story, hers involved everyone in her family being happy in the end. The best thing that could happen; obviously the returnel of her parents, almost as if they'd bring around Iona's confidence as well. Then they could help around the crops to, and more money would come in which would make everyone more happy. They'd be like a normal family, and some how that would make Iona normal as well, and she didn't have to escape through a book all the time...but their parents returning was the true fairytale.

Looking at the brother beside her as they walked side-by-side down the hall to exit the house, Iona wondered what had caused all of this; her distance, or maybe something else going on, or a little of both. All of a sudden now Emery isn't a child, nor is Iona though she still feels like she is, especially physically. It seems only yesterday they were all children, Eva just potty-trained, and the reality of their parents disappearance hitting in. Covering her reality with fairy tales was taking away from her involvement in the family, and the guilt was beginning to weigh deeply on Iona's heart. Emery must be sharing similar feelings to have such a need to talk at this hour.

Just as Iona had predicted it was still a light breeze outside, making it much opposite from the hot sunny day that went down with the sun. A tiny smile crept to her face when Emery held open the door, being cautious of it not slamming. He was certainly not a kid anymore, but becoming a gentlemen to make some woman very happy one day. As dorky as it was Iona was awfully proud of her big brother, forgetting about everything that happened today at least for a moment. There was still good adult figures, like her uncle sort of, and the oldest Adrian, some kind of role-models to look up to. Though it was very possible it was just natural for Emery, for the exception of what happened earlier of course.

It stayed quiet for a while, as they walked to a nice spot, there was no need for discussion on account Iona never led, only followed. Emery managed to find a nice patch of grass, one not fermented from an animal, or covered in dirt or crops. Of course she accepted the gesture and toke a seat next to her brother, unable to do anything but stay quiet and look everyone except his eyes. It was just too intimidating, even if she was almost positive he didn't bring her out her for another lecture.

A sweet basic question was the first ice breaker, Iona only held silent tears all day, no one would know how long they lasted. Currently though, she was attempting to forget about what happened, and gave a reassuring nod of her head finally looking over at him. Hopefully Emery knew that his little sister wasn't mad or upset about him, she felt that it was too truthful and was angry with herself. If only she held the guts to actually say something, but instead she preferred Emery to continue on.

The nod wasn't good enough though, Iona should of said something, because Emery attempts to apologize in a jumbled sort of way...Iona understood though. She could nearly understand what anyone was trying to say, even when everyone else was baffled. Hearing that Emery didn't truly mean what he was saying brought tears to Iona's eyes, she hated how much of a baby she could be sometimes. Did he mean that, or just trying to make things better? Either way Iona still felt that it was true...what he said, even if he didn't mean it.

All Iona needed to do was pull herself together a little, pull out something to comfort him. At least they both felt the need to drop the eyes, and she toke the opportunity to wipe her watery eyes, and take a gulp to get that horrible lump away. The last thing that Iona wanted her brother to feel was terrible about himself, she didn't want anyone feeling that way, especially a family member. He wasn't a bad big brother either, they all had their mistakes before. Why couldn't she pull herself around to saying anything? Did her voice stop working after all the tears and lack of talking? It had been two full days this time, she felt it fun to keep count, her longest being a week.

"No your not." Iona finally managed to pull out, though still soft and a bit cracky. "Not a bad big brother." She corrected herself, attempting to get her voice a little louder. After all Emery had done a lot of good as well, he'd advocate her Iona when no one else at school would, make sure that both his younger sisters were taken care of. One mistake, mix-up, or slip wasn't going to change that. Now that her voice was working again, it was like riding a bike, though Iona had never learned to do that in particular.

"You're a great brother." Iona reassured, bringing a smile to her face. "Most of the time at least." She attempts to bring out a joke, a light giggle following.

Love, Family, Silence, Books, Life

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So Many Different Personalities

Raseri
Career Tribute

552 POSTS
last seen Dec 5, 2023 15:35:48 GMT -5

mayor of bootyville

pick up the pieces // cameo Sept 21, 2013 23:55:28 GMT -5

Post by Raseri on Sept 21, 2013 23:55:28 GMT -5

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A silence hung off the end of my apology, so prominent and so long that I knew it the chances of it ever being broken were slim to none. My sister wiped her eyes silently beside me. Oh look, Emery, you made her cry. Again. Way to make things better. I’d really gone and screwed up this time. She’d never talk to me again, I knew it; Iona had no problem with not speaking, and why would she ever want to tell anythin’ to me now? I’d lost her just like I’d lost Mom and Dad, but this time it was all my fault. The cold night air crept into my skin through my t-shirt, raising goose bumps on my arms and aching in my bones. I shivered.

”No you’re not. Not a bad big brother.”

Her voice sounded tiny and it was still all crackly from sleep, but to me, it was the music of Gabriel’s horn blowin’ to tell me everything was gonna be alright. I looked away from the dirt (don’t know what I was lookin’ at it for anyway, it was too damn dark to see much of anythin’ on the ground) and there was Iona, smiling at me and telling me I wasn’t bad. I was great. Most of the time, she said, but at least that was better than none of the time. I let out some kind of relieved sound that was sort of a sigh and a “bahaha” at the same time.

”Oh,” I laughed, ”Thanks.” I grinned at her, all of a sudden just glad that I had a sister like her who wouldn’t hold things against me for too long. It made me kinda proud, to be honest. Life was too short to be thinking about what people you were gonna stay mad at and which ones you weren’t. Must be all those books she reads, making her so nice and forgiving just like the princesses in the stories. Man, was she growin’ up quick. In the blink of an eye, I tell you.

”You’re a great sister,” I added, stretching my arm over her shoulder and pulling her into a side hug. I felt warmer now, even though it was real chilly and I should’ve brought a jacket. ”All the time,” I told her, pressing my lips gently to the top of her head. She had soft brown hair, just like Mom. ”And you’re sweet, and you’re pretty, and you’re smarter than me already. And if readin’ books is what you wanna do, I’m fine with that. That’s fine. And I’m sorry… I’m sorry I don’t tell you that more.”

Things like that were hard to say out loud, I realized as the words rushed from my mouth. When things came from your heart like that, sometimes it took some guts. Like when I had my first crush, Susan Freeman? Gosh, she was pretty, but I wouldn’t had ever been able to tell her that to her face back then. ”Do you like me? Check yes or no” scribbled on a piece of notebook paper and then folded in fourths had been all I could manage. Writing down what you felt was easy; you didn’t have to look a piece of paper in the eyes while you talked to it, or worry about your tone or your volume. Telling your feelings was a different story. People had emotions and opinions, and anything you said could affect them. And sometimes you couldn’t get the right words out, no matter how many times you thought out what you were gonna say beforehand.

I was glad I’d gotten that out of my system. Unsure of what to say, I looked up at the stars and tried to figure out which constellations were which.

{ooc-it’s 1 am and what is this eww sorry}
thinking, doing, hearing, ”saying,” other

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"i shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
i lift my lids and all is born again.
(i think i made you up inside my head.)"

Cameo {RIP Charlie}
Mentor

3,020 POSTS
last seen Apr 14, 2024 7:07:33 GMT -5

#It'sAPoundSymbol

pick up the pieces // cameo Sept 27, 2013 11:23:48 GMT -5

Post by Cameo {RIP Charlie} on Sept 27, 2013 11:23:48 GMT -5

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« Iona Holbrook »

The sigh from Emery was just a relieving for Iona, like both of them had been holding there breath and finally let go. There's no happy endings in real life, especially for someone located in a District like eleven, but anyone can try to get a close as they can. Prince charming was not likely to rescue Iona, she held her family though, and she swore they'll always come first. It was the grin that followed her big brother's sigh, the one copying the tiny one placed among her own face. They're siblings, blood, and that's the most anyone has when you live under these conditions. No opportunities to choose your own way, you live by the Capitol. Only a nod followed when Emery thanked her, but then again there was no reason for it in the first place. It was too difficult for Iona to explain that though.

Everything's better now, the smiles placed on Emery and Iona's face, declaring that all is well. What had happened earlier was an accident, a big brother who directed his anger at the wrong person and a little sister who's too sensitive. Unexpectedly Emery turned the tables, like guilt still shifted over him and he needed to clear the air. It was his turn to share why he believed Iona was a good, no great sister. The smile on her face had yet to fade but began to get a bit shaky at his words. How Iona hated how much of a cry baby she was. Her smile was forced to crinkle when she bit her bottom lip in attempt to keep back even more tears. Maybe it had just been a long day and night, pouring her emotions out.

An arm is wrapped around the young sister, bringing her into a warm hug that protected her from the outside world. It was getting a bit nippy but Iona had remembered to bring a jacket. The jacket managed to block out the wind but her brother's embrace brought the warmth and comfort. She wrapped her scrawny arms around Emery as if she could possibly help his warmth. If only her jacket was big enough to wrap around them both. The chances of Iona blocking another tear run was highly likely until Emery decided to continue on. Everything that she needed to hear spilled out from her big brother, and also tears from Iona.

Certainly she believed that she was sweet, after all Iona never held a mean bone in her body, that was thing she was proud of. All the books she consumed over the years made her think she was decently smart, more then the other kids in her grades at least. The only thing that shocked her was the pretty part, something she never considered. Everything about Iona was so young, like her little sister. Cute maybe, but not pretty. Iona buried her face in her Brother's shoulder. He didn't need to know that once again she was being a softy. Now was the time to respond, pull it together. Not only was her brother complimenting her but also approved of her reading. More tears, a bigger lump in her throat. How has her brother shifted so fast?

Another gulp and another eye rub, time to respond. If Emery was kind enough to accept Iona's addiction to reading then she could pull around and talk to him. Not get stuck upon her words as if talking to a stranger. In her head it didn't feel like that, but she couldn't help but feel guilty that it appeared that way on the outside. "Thank you." It was again a mer whisper, but still better then nothing. Iona cleared her throat. "I'll try to participate more." She learned that word from a school book that was recommended, no one else read it but Iona of course did and learned quite a bit of big words. It probably wasn't Emery's intentions, after all he was supporting her love for reading. Still she felt the need to offer something else well, try to make her big brother happy as he was doing for her.

Iona followed her brother's gaze up to the sky, the large shaded black canvas with thousands sparkling dots decorating it. Probably one of the most beautiful views, depending on the person. There was a good selection of books about space, if you can believe there's actually something out there. Not many informational ones, as if the Capitol needed to prevent the chances of it's citizens some how living up there. Loads of good stories those, and a lot about the stars. Even the fictional ones hold some facts that are actually true.

"Do you really believe that someone's been on the moon?" Iona broke her gaze from the sky to look at her older brother. Every year in history they bring up the journey to the moon that happened many years back. The lesson usually lasts a couple of days and then never talked about again until the following year. "I heard the Capitol aren't able to even fly there today." She shares with amazement, her dark eyes going back the largest landmark in the sky.

Love, [colorblockquote=633A38]Family,