{Gone with the wind} :: Dee

It was just another day at the job and just like every other day, nothing horrible or spectacular happened. You kept trying to coax the animals to do your bidding, but everything you read in the book wasn’t helping until a coworker of yours stepped in to help you. You knew you wouldn’t get marked down for it, but you hated how the animals wouldn’t listen to you no matter how many methods you employed. You did better with the machines and your boss gave you a nod when he saw that you had fixed the machinery. It was never your dream to be an emergency mechanic, but so far, it seemed to be working out a lot more than your actual job.

When they said that you could leave for the day, you gladly packed your belongings and took them with you. It wasn’t that you didn’t like your job—in fact, you were glad you have it—but you believed that your time could have been better spent working on the designs that continued to fill up the cabinets. You wanted to finish them, but you were always afraid that if you did, they would be wrong and the plans would have been thrown into the trash. Being right was very important to you, and maybe that was why you had such a difficult time with your job. You didn’t like how the animals were laughing at you, how they kept telling you that you were wrong.

You noticed a young girl that was walking across your path, but what made you look twice was the fact that she looked like you. You were aware that she actually didn’t look like you, but she had the familiar yellow undertones and small eyes that you were often teased for when you were a child. You could tell she was upset—or what looked like upset. You had not read a book on facial expressions, so you were not confident in your analysis. You were still intrigued by her, though, as you had rarely seen someone who had your characteristics. You couldn’t help but wonder if she had the same upbringing as you did, or if she was like the other kids who were in your class and looked like you but felt so natural.

“Are…are you okay?” you managed to muster up as you looked at her with something that felt like concern. Of course there was that chance that you had read her wrong, and she would have looked at you strange before walking off, leaving you to hate yourself for being wrong in something that should have been simple. You never gave yourself any allowances to be wrong, even if it was for matters you had not learned from a textbook yet. Being wrong showed how unlearned you were and while you did not want people to think that you knew everything, you thought that being wrong would have set you back in your progress.

This fear has crippled you in many ways and even when you were trying to have a conversation, you didn’t know how to continue. If you hadn’t already made a mistake, then you were certain that a mistake was inevitable. It was for this reason that you tried not to talk to people and conversations always ended awkwardly. Conversations were easier when you were a child and you had less to fear, but since you learned that you had birth parents in District 5, you became afraid to be wrong and you were so certain that your birth parents would have left you again if you couldn’t prove yourself to them. Even if you made a mistake in a simple conversation.