Yegor Ivashkov || D6 || DONE

For how many years did he think that he was alone in this world? For how long had I, had we, let him believe that he had no family,no family to fight for, to believe in…? he ended up dying that way, dying with the belief that he was truly alone in this world. With the belief that no one cared for him, that o one love him that if he were to come him that no one- not a single soul- would care. How long? How long did we let him think tat? How could, how could someone do that to another person? It was disgusting, wasn't it? Letting someone fight to the death with the belief that his family was dead, with the belief that he was abandoned in this world. Could we, I, ever be forgiven? after all I was a picture perfect image of him, of the by who died like a hero in the 64th hunger games.

Mikhail Ivashkov had died, did believing that he was a man not worthy of living believe that he had no family, that this must of been his time to die.. But in reality it was all a lie, something that mankind had shoved in his face in an effort to break him, to make in break into tiny pieces until he could no longer pick them up and put them back together. But could I really blame man kind? could I really tell myself that it was because of humanity that the guy who I lord but didn't know died because humanity wanted that- was that fair? Fair on him, fair on me? No it was because of me, because of me that he died thinking that he was alone in this world, thinking that no one loved him, cared for him.

What if he had known me, would he have hated me? We may of had the same mother, the same father, but I had a family, one that was still buzzing with life, whilst he had nothing, our father dead and the woman who he believed to be his mother also dead. His sister, the only family he had left was also dead. So would he have hated me, resented me due to the fact that I had a family with beating hearts and blood flowing though their veins. I knew that if I were him i would have hated me, I would have detested me and the family I had. I would despise the fact that I looked exactly like him with my cave man bush hair, tanned his and muscular exterior.

You see Mikhail and I are twins, twins that were separated at both due to the fact that my mother- our mother- hadn't wanted him… She had only wanted one, and having two children that looked exactly the same made her sick so my father- the man who I hated to the ends of this earth- took him away settling down with another woman who said that she would care for him, look after him as her own. Sometimes it made me jealous… Mikhail didn't think ill of our father, after all he had no reason to have to, after all he hadn't known, hadn't know that his father, our father, was having an affair with our mother. Mikhail hadn't known that the person who he believed was his mother was slowing losing the man who's he called her husband to the woman who was our mother. And in some ways I am glad, glad that he didn't know, I am glad that he could look at our father with proud eyes, something… something that I could never do. What if Mikhail had known? would that have made any difference, would he still have loved the man?

I didn't know, and I guess I would never know. Cause he was gone, no longer alive in this world. I had often heard that he wandered what he would see if he could see a clone of himself, and I often wander to myself if he would be happy, happy with what he saw when he looked at me…

well I guess thats enough about Mikhail, the boy who I never knew, but will always have a home in my heart, and more about me, Yegor Ivashkov, twin to the boy who died.

I am eighteen years old and I never personally meet him, my twin brother. I live on the edge of the district with my mother and I loved my mother, more than anything in the world. But… But that didn't mean I always agreed with her choices, for example her affair. I dipped the affair and the man who she was involved with. He was my father, but I hated hi for loving my mother, I hated that he loved her but yet loved another always leaving her in the end and running back to the woman was the adoptive mother of Mikhail. I hated that she let him come back into her life each time he began to feel lonely and I hated that he left her alone to deal with me and my sibilings. But I could never, ever, bring myself to have an outburst at him, to kick him to the curb and tell him to never come back… I could never do it- cause my mother loved him and he made her happy and to see her happy was all I ever wanted in life…

so when he died, when he left this world for good, it was a bitter but yt sweet feeling for me. I was over the moon at the fact that he was gone, that he was never coming back to burden my mother… But yet I was also frustrated and angry t the fact that he was gone at the fact that once again he had hurt my mother leaving her tear ridden for days on end. But- but I was also sad… Sad because even though U hated him, even though I despised him… in the end he was still my father, he was still the man who brought me into the world, who loved my mother, who even loved me.

SO when he died it impacted me, it impact my mother, it impacted my whole family. You see me and my family were a close knitted bunch and we knew about Mikhail and his family even though they knew nothing of us, so to see Mikhail and his sister in pain like that it made me treasure what I had even more, it made me love and want to be closer to my family, closer than we have ever been. I loved hem, even though they could be a pain in my arse I stilled loved them.

Even though my hair skin and dark eyes were ones that belonged to my father, that connected me with him I learned to love that part of me as well, I had to learn, cause to love me, and to love my family was all I needed in life. My family didn't have money, we were poor, but we had each other and just just watching how losing people can make someone fall to pieces I realised that that is all that I needed. I didn't need no fancy house or fancy meals. I needed my family, I needed to watch over them, I ended to be able to protect them, protect them till the end… Just like he had tried, just like Mikhail. In the end Mikhail was still fighting, but fighting for what? He had no family, he had no one to come home to…. but he must of realised something right? Cause he fought his harder all the way until he could fight no longer… So in a way he was fighting for them, wasn't he? Fighting for his family who could no longer fight for themselves.


I admire that part of, that part of him that allowed him to fight till the very end. And that part of him, more than anything else, is the part that we share, both of us have that fighting spirit. I knew, I knew for sure that I would protect my family with my life, I would be their shield, protecting them so that they could smile for me, smile for the world and keep fighting for each other. Cause that is what family is, people who did what ever it took to make each other happy. Thats why we put up with our father, cause it made her happy. That why we didn't contact Mikhail cause we thought letting him know that he had people, he had family would make him angry, would make him dispose us and thats not what we wanted. We wanted him to be happy, to never meet us, to never know that he had people watching over him, his own guardian angels- who in the end could do nothing to save his life.


So overall I am a person who fights for what is right, a person who protects the people who I love… a person who failed at prolonging the life of his own twin brother. What if it had been me? My name called…. Would he be happy, happy to find out that he had people willing to fight for him? Or would he look at me and my family in disgust?

who knows?

I dont.

And I never will.

I am Yegor Ivashkov.