^KELAN^ENNIS^D6 FINISHED

^A G E~ 17
^D I S T R I C T~ 6
^G E N D E R~ MALE

^A P P E A R A N C E

The crack of light pushes against my eyelids forcing me to open my eyes and take in the room around me. It's cold cement wall trap me here, although it's not a prison, rather my home. A small apartment for me and my family of seven. I crawl past my younger brothers and into the bathroom. I feel nothing as I look into my reflection. I see a robot, a machine that is unable to do anything but walk, talk and watch. I can't help but think that if I was taller than 5'6" and had a larger frame with more muscle I would be able to help her. I quickly shrug of my shirt, and glance at body."What a wonderful chest," I mutter sarcastically of my 130 pound body. Within minutes I am in the shower, I gaze at the pale tiles and my mind wonders off, to a happier time. A time with her, a time where I knew what joy was. By the time I come back it has been twenty minutes and the water is ice on my back. I step out of the shower and grab a towel to warm myself.

Once again I look at my, now wet, image. My hair is usually a dark brown, that stands out against my pale skin. I grab a comb and pull it to the side to style it. I prefer it this way rather then down. She used to push it up laughing, then kiss my forehead, then my nose, then my lips. I would whisper I loved her and she would just kiss me again. When its down I simply can't go outside, I feel like I'm insulting her. It reminds too much about her, so I keep my hair up. I look at my eyes and think of the times when she would kiss me and complement me on my eyes. Speaking of my eyes, they are large and lately have been glazed over with grief. They lay on either side of my small nose, which is covered in a slew of freckles. There are very few things I enjoy about my face but I guess she did because she was the one to approach me.

My small ears hear my siblings waking up outside the door and know my time left is running short. I dress quickly in a tee shirt and jeans and exit the bathroom in a rush. Squeezing between my two sisters and duck into the kitchen. I am always hungry, much like the other boys who are my age, but I resist the urge to eat everything and only have two biscuits leaving the rest for the others and out into the cool air to school.

Stuck here with these people
While you wake I crush our bodies in one space
I feel your heart blood from my tongue
I wonder where you've gone

^P E R S O N A L I T Y

They say I used to be happy, but I can't remember that anymore. I'm in a black hole of depression. I can't claw my way out of the dark chasm surrounding me. I claw through my memory trying to think of a time I was happy before her. I remember being six and climbing a tree. Once I was about halfway up I look out towards the meadow, I remember thinking how beautiful the tree line was. I remember exploring the district, wandering around following the fence, but I wasn't happy until the moment I saw the birds wandering around. I chased then around for a while till they ducked under the fence. I laughed at them as they bundled around. I guess you could say I was an explorer, and I enjoyed just walking around for hours taking it all in. After meeting her I found myself settling, and relaxing for once.

I suppose I fell for her too quickly, but she did the same. Maybe I trust to much, I also trusted my parents, and they let me down. I trusted my older brother to help us, but they all let me down. I try to keep my priorities straight after the events of recent months. I know I need to protect my siblings, and my love for them is strong, but I know my inner demons are seen when I am unable to hold by sobs down. They stare at me with pity, but never say anything in fear of my lashing out. That has been a running issue with me for quit some time. I remember screaming at my teacher when she accused me of stealing. However, I never lashed out at her, she mellowed me out. She mad me a better person and I couldn't do same. She was perfect already.

And the ever turning spinning wheel of people, places
Lies I feel
The restless beat of the sleepless night to come
I just want to be numb
I just want to be numb

^H I S T O R Y

She is my history; despite my life beginning seven years earlier. I was born to a family of four, the second boy of Caitlin and Bran. They were famous for their ability to down entire bottles of scotch in a single sitting. After my birth they vowed to stop drinking, but they didn't. In fact it worsened. They had four more children, my younger siblings. There was Myrna and Mave, the twins girls, then Ciara, and the baby of the family, Niall. We all looked up to Angus, the oldest, but by the time I was six he was already following in our parents footsteps. Now I was alone, with four younger siblings and no role models. I decided right then and there I would always be a role model for them. I went to school, walking my sisters to school, then walking them back, and then begging in the upper class part of the city.

It was there I saw her. It was a December day, and I sat on the cardboard mat I made for myself, sniffling and coughing. I wasn't sick, but these people didn't know that. It was around 8 when she walked by, clutching her father's hand. She looked at me and I saw her beautiful blue eyes. Her curly brown hair bounced as she walked. I'm not sure what possessed me, but I called out "H-H-Hi." She didn't look back. She infatuated me for the rest of the day. I returned home with less than I usually earn and a mind boggled more than I knew how to deal with.

I didn't see again until we were eleven. She showed up in our class unexpectedly. I recognized her the moment she stepped into the classroom. She wore a pink dress with white polka dots. "Class this is Drew Gerard." I will never forget that name. She walked with her head held high and plopped down right next to me. She turned smiled and whispered "I remember you." I meet her after school in front of the school under the oak tree. We sat underneath the tree for hours talking and explaining our situations to each other. She was an only child, her father was a respected official in the mayors office and never home, her mother was addicted to morphine. She had no one to look out for her, just like me. What I felt for her was unlike anything I have felt for anyone else. Was I able to love at eleven? No, but I had some form of affection for her.

As we grew up, our emotions did too. I began to love her, truly love her. By fifteen I my affection for her had blossomed into love. I confessed my feelings for her underneath the tree in front of the school. She embraced me and kissed me quiet.

We meet everyday at her house at eight and everyday we greeted each other the same way. As she trotted down the stairs I would smile and say "Hey beautiful." She would laugh and say "Shut up loser" We would walk down the street and to school. We understood each other, and exactly what the other needed to hear, we were their for each other. Our parents never associated with each other, but all my siblings have meet her, and have become like a sister. They grew used to her being in our house. Drew took a particular liking for the twins. But Drew and I were always the closest. We promised to always be their for each other, but neither of realized how cruel the world could be.

It all ended about a month ago. I was running late that morning, it was a very brisk morning. I ended up turning the corner to hear a woman screaming, I broke into a run. I saw a small crowd gathered at the end of the street, in front of her house. I sprinted down the street screaming "DREW!" I pushed my way forward. I was grabbed by two peacekeepers. They yanked me back and threw me to the ground. I saw her being pulled roughly and pushed to the ground. A cry of horror ripped from my throat and jump up and push my way forward. "DREW" I made eye contact with her. Her eyes filled with horror and alarm; they quickly shift towards shock. "Go!GO KEL! GO! GET OUT!" Tears stream down my face, it was the first time I ever cried in front of her. Once more I lunge forward, and she lunges towards me. Our hands reeach out to each other, missing each other by inches, denying us our last touch' but not our last words. "I love you, Drew." "I love you, Kel." The peacekeepers drag her away. I haven't seen her since, and trust me heart break is cruelest punishment this world can deal you.