Too late to apologize//// Baptiste Jay standalone

I remember the day Storm walked to the stage on the reaping day. I remember all the fear that was etched into his body as his legs carried him. I remember watching the tears roll down his face as he faced the crowd for what would possibly be his last time being home. I remember when the chance came to say goodbye to him, but I was afraid to go. I didn't want to say goodbye because goodbye means farewell; I'll never see you again. I couldn't tell him I'd see him later because the odds stated he may never come back home. He was being sent to the stupid arena. He was being sent to death, and I didn't want to see him before he left. I didn't want to go into the room filled with my cousins because I would have been left out. I didn't know what I could say to someone that was about to die. My legs didn't want to move. My entire body was frozen as I watched my cousin, Storm, be shipped away from home forever.

We were in the blank a couple days as he made his way towards the Capitol. He left the district, and I wasn't sure what anyone could do to bring him back. Storm wasn't a fighter. He didn't have it in him to fight. I watched him help a fly when it was struggling. He cried for hours when he had to kill it. If he cried over killing a fly, would he even be able to attack another living human being? I don't think he'd be able to. I remember watching the screen at the square waiting for Storm to appear. I wanted to see how he was doing. I wanted to make sure my cousin was doing okay. I remember the first time I saw him on the screen. My stomach had dropped to the floor. It didn't hit me until then that Storm was actually in the games. I wanted to run towards the screen and beg him to come home, but I couldn't do anything. He was in the games. He was away from the district to die a certain death. He was going to die. He had to have known he was going to die, but I didn't. I had that hope that he would actually come home.

The next time I heard about Storm was when he got his training score. I almost laughed when I saw his score, but I realized that he'd possibly survive because his score was so low. A two. A two in training. Most people would have expected him to die quickly, and I thought he would. I thought he would die just like Jabber. I was afraid for him, but I couldn't express my fear. I couldn't tell anyone because nobody understands me. I'm all alone away from everyone, but I care for them. I care for each and everyone of them. I cared for Storm, but I was too much of a coward to go see him before he was sent to the games. I didn't want to talk to him because I was too selfish, and now he's in the arena dying, and I didn't say goodbye. I regret not going into the justice center to say goodbye. I regret every second of it, but I can't undo the past. I can't change anything. I can't live in the past with my regrets, but I've made mistakes, and I hate myself for them. I hate myself because I'm selfish, and I deserve to die in Storm's place.

I remember seeing Storm for the interviews. He acted like he was confident, but I can read behind the show he's putting on. He's terrified of going into the games, and I would be too because nobody wants to die, and twenty-three of them are dying. I don't want Storm to die. I remember watching the crowd cheer for him as I watched on the big screen. I remember the smiles that grew on their faces, and it made me happy. I knew he'd done well, so I clapped along with them, but I couldn't be happy. I didn't want to be happy because I knew the next time I'd see him he'd be entering that dreaded arena. He'd be entering the arena with the others to fight for the death. He'd fight for his own survival, and I was terrified for him. I didn't want to watch the games, but I knew I would have to for Storm. He'd want me to watch them and cheer for him, but I never dreamed I would see this day. The day any of my family goes into the arena is a day I never look forward to.

I was impressed when I saw him the next day. He fought bravely in the bloodbath as he gathered items that he needed. His weapon was a weapon that I never dreamed he'd hold in his hands. It was like a giant sword, but different. It didn't have the blade all the way down. It was like a sword and an axe mixed. I watched as blood was shed on the ground. I watched as bodies of fallen tributes fell lifeless to the ground. I wanted to scream for Storm to run away from the mess, but I didn't. I didn't want anyone to try to tell me I was stupid, not that it would've mattered. I remember looking at his pale face as he attacked everyone around him. It's not like him. It's not like him to attack anything, and it scared me. It broke my heart knowing what he has to do in order to survive. I hate the games. I hate the Capitol. I hate them for taking two of my cousins to the arena. I hate everything about the games, but I can't do anything to stop it. I can't do a damn thing to save anyone.

I remember watching him run from the cornucopia as fast as he could with his weapon in his hand. Storm had grown up over the last few days. He's not that child he used to be. He's not that child he was before he went into the arena. I remember wishing I was by his side, but I wasn't. I was trapped at home. I was trapped watching the screen watching children his age fall one by one. I hated it. I hated everything about it, but you went away. You went to the games because you were chosen, and nobody wanted to try to save you. Nobody even stood up to save you because it doesn't happen, and it'll never happen. This shows that family only goes so far when the games are around. Will anyone try to save me if I'm ever reaped? Will anyone try to be around me? Will anyone even come to say goodbye? I remember watching you run into the maze and help kill that girl. It's not like you Storm. Killing isn't like you, but you wanted to come home. You wanted to return. Everyone in the games dreamed of returning home, and you helped snatch away one of those dreams.

I remember watching you find that beanstalk on day two. It was huge Storm. It was huge. I never seen anything like that, but you and the three others, I guess your alliance, fought bravely and destroyed the two cats that stood before you. I was so proud of you Storm when you killed that cat. I was so proud of you. You did fantastic, and you even carried one of your allies out of the fight. Then you climbed the beanstalk. You climbed it and you ended up looking like a girl and being taped to it. I thought it was so funny. I cracked up laughing and all the other people stared at me. Storm, I wish you could have seen how you looked. You looked amazing. You looked like a girl. I wanted to laugh, and I did laugh, and I hate that I laughed now. I hate it Storm, but I can't change it. You had a brave day, and I was amazed at how well you had done. You held your weapon with your head held high fighting for your own survival, and with that the night fell upon you.

Day three and day four were so jumbled together I don't remember anything. You lost your arm on day three. I could tell you had tears rolling down your face. I could tell you were in pain. I've never experienced anything like that before. I've never experienced anything like losing a limb, and I don't know how it felt, but I imagine it was extremely painful. The next day was horrible. I watched as the victor of the games broke your bones. I watched as she slammed that horrible ball into your knee, and your chest. I watched as you severed the foot of one of the girls, and I thought it was well deserved since she took your arm. I watched as your friend was beheaded. I watched as you all tried to avenge her death, and that guy killed the girl, and then the most painful part of all happened. The girl you severed the foot of slashed you with her sword, and you fell to the ground.

One of the two boys, the one from three, held you in his arms as you died. Tears streamed down my face as I screamed at the top of my lungs. The pain that filled my heart was unreal. I've never experienced anything like that before. I was sad when Jabber died. I cried when he died, but watching you die without me even saying goodbye was horrible. I hate myself for this. I hate myself for watching you die. I hate myself for not being able to save you. I was too selfish, and now your dead. You're not coming home. All the hope I had for you to return home is gone. It flew away right in front of my eyes. I watched as the two boys buried you and the girl that tied you to the beanstalk. I watched them put a ring of fire around you all. They laid you to rest in the arena, but you'd be coming back home anyway. I watched as you died, and I couldn't save you. I wanted to save you, but I couldn't. You were so far away from me. You were so far away.

I screamed at the screen at the top of my lungs. People pulled me away from the screen. I didn't want to leave the screen. I wanted to shatter it. I wanted to shatter it into several shards like my heart had just been shattered. I wanted to break the screen so nobody could ever watch the games again. I wanted anything to happen because I wanted to be with you. I wanted to be by your side holding your hand. I wanted to go say goodbye to you Storm, but I couldn't. I couldn't do anything. I'm so sorry I was selfish and didn't say goodbye. I'm sorry Storm. I'm sorry about everything. I hate it. I hate everything about this. I wish I could change what happened. I wish I could go back and change not saying goodbye to you, but I can't. I can't change it, and I hate it. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me Storm. Please forgive me. Please please forgive me. I'm so sorry.

May you rest in peace Storm. May you rest in peace.

Narration A9B39F
Thoughts 777A77
Speech 99978A
(Other CFC89F)