avalon sage ♦ district two ♦ complete

t e n y e a r s l a t e r

i roam the borders of the District
alone
solitary figure of 18
watching people from afar
for it is much easier than speaking.
i saw her face again today,
the same sad expression plastered across it.

i long to ask her why.

six hundred and eighty-four days
since I met her.
two thousand, one hundred and forty-nine days
since I stopped being a brother.
three thousand, seven hundred and seventeen days
since we were abandoned.

a lifetime
of disappointment.

i n v i s i b l e

leaning by a wall
covered in graffiti
biting my nails
i pretend not to see her
as she walks past.
i am acting
as if she were spying on me.
not the other way around.

i cannot speak.

even if I wanted to.

i misplaced the ability to communicate very long ago.

it is no loss.
nobody wants to know an unfortunate boy
with no friends
who cannot even string a single sentence
together.

d i s a s t e r

it rains incessantly.

all
day
long.

the rising firestorms
over the horizon
flicker
f a l t e r
and fade.

it makes me mad.

the trees in the distance have been spared from the fire
and now they stand
stronger than ever
mocking me.

they do not deserve
to live and prosper.
they deserve to be engulfed by the flames.
just like me.

why should they survive
when I can barely breathe through the smoke?

c h a n g e

she lives in a world
that is all her own.
i don’t know what it’s like
or what she sees
but sometimes
it’s
me.

sometimes
she talks and begs and pleads and calls
to me
her brother
for help

for a simple word

for me to make things better.

like I used to.

once,
it was easy.
holding and soothing
like older brothers do.

eventually,
it became harder.
no longer can I speak to her.
all I am able to manage is
a gentle hand squeeze
meant to reassure,
not frighten.

it is impossible to communicate
with the fire burning
inside of me.

no longer do I hear
her cries.

i cannot comfort her properly
the way she needs
an older brother to.
how could I
when I cannot even comfort
myself.

a m e s s a g e f o r m e

‘A young man and woman
Have run away from
their responsibility
their family
Home,
Leaving two
miserable
stupid
Defenceless
Children behind.’

The only people that noticed
Were us
For no such news report
Exists.

I would search for them
But they do not want to be found.
They ran away
Like criminals
And I loathe them even more.

i n f e r n o

i am sobbing again
making the bedsheets I share
wet
with tears.

it has now been ten years.

i am never sad,
not anymore,
but always mad.

flames engulfed my soul
chewed me up and spat me out
until nothing good remained.

what does it feel like
to have a soul
anyway?

maybe I did.
not anymore.

the anger turned to fire
long ago.
it still burns today.