Begging You To Stay [Rolex Reaction]

He sat there on the bed, watching the television with clenched fists and a bit lip that bled slowly. Terror was clutching his heart even more tightly that his fingers pressed into his palms. On the screen was a flashing image of chaos. A giant mutt - the Jabberwocky - stood among a handful of children, wicked eyes glittering as it slashed and hacked at those around it. A girl almost fell, part of her leg now gone, and Rolex let out a short, hoarse cry. The blood on his lip began to flow faster as his teeth dug into the wound again. The other children all around were slashing at one another, none of them brave enough to face the giant beast and so would rather plow through the people there instead. Even when a boy lost his arm Rolex paid no mind. His gaze was only on the dark haired girl, with her dark eyes that glittered in the way that could turn them from endless pits to a rich warmth that would encompass him and swallow him whole.

How could all of this have gone so wrong?

"Emery Moreno" The moment her name had been called he had felt a chill run down his spine. In his heart he had harbored the feelings of both hope and grief but there was a part of him that kept whispering that hope was pointless. Too torn up inside to know what to do, and hating himself and her too much to want that hard conversation between them, he had fled the chance to be with her, selfishly believing that they would both be better off without a goodbye. He had seemed to have been right, at least on Emery's side of it, because she never once mentioned him. It wasn't as though she had really wanted to be around him again after she had come back, anyway. Why had he been so stupid as to think she would? Because he still loved her, and all he wanted was for her to admit it - if not to him, then at least to herself.

Now, after all this time, it was as if he hadn't even been a part of her life. What else had he expected, though, she had left him without a second thought before. Even when they had found each other again it hadn't been love in her eyes. She hated him. But why? That one word repeated itself in an endless loop through his head. Each time he had a new answer, and each time it would be more vicious than the last. Because she wanted to forget about him. Because he was worthless. Because she had never loved him. Still, even now, he clung to what love he had for her. The fire in her gaze was closer to spiteful lava than the flickering candle light love now, but that was not enough to evaporate the tide of feelings he had for her.

I need to know, will you leave me lifeless?
Will I bow down to this life that I live?
Will I find freedom or lose it all again?
All I keep thinking is where I need to be
All I can hope for is someone to take me away

His eyes still staring hard at the screen in front of him, his mouth first fell open before smashing shut as a growl rose in his throat. The need to throw himself through the tv and into the battlefield had risen ten fold when he had seen what had just happened - an animalistic instinct to protect what was his filling him. A boy had just kissed her. If only he were able to enter the arena, he would kill that bastard. It was the same boy that had essentially stuck to her side the entire Games, the one that Rolex had once held a pin prick of gratitude for for helping Emery. Any good feelings for him had disappeared in that instant and now he realized why Emery didn't mention him. She loved that boy instead.

But no, she was yelling at him, getting angry. She hadn't wanted the kiss. It did nothing to calm Rolex, however, and instead he pressed his fingernails deeper into his palm. The skin began to split beneath them just as his mind was splitting with the thousand rushing thoughts in his head, it felt as though one of those Capitol trains were tearing around inside his mind, about to come off the tracks. Now they were running, or the boy was running with Emery in his arms and despite all of the hatred Rolex had for him there was that momentary prick of gratefulness that he was once again helping Emery. It was all about her, and her safety. Now that she had come this far there was more than enough tension in his heart.

Before you go, you promise me something
I need to know, will you leave me lifeless?
Time moves so slow, I'm waiting for something
Waiting for something again
Will I fall away from you?

Finally the boy had set her down, and she began to move on her own. Rolex sighed for a moment before his heart jumped to his throat. Nothing could ever go right anymore, for now Emery had triggered a trap. He watched, his breath held in his chest like a caged bird, as fire licked her skin and glass dug into her flesh. With how weak she was he feared this would push her over the edge but she held on. A sting of pride touched his fear-filled heart. She was so strong, even this wouldn't take her down. But that was when the boy drew his blade and Rolex flew into a terror-fueled rage. He stormed around his room, swinging fists at anything shoulder height or taller.

"Go to sleep." His fist slammed into the wall and he cursed, spots of blood left behind. "No…no, you’re not going to…no, I won't...!" He started to cry, the pain of her words amounting to more than anything he had experienced before. "You’re nothing…nothing without me! Once I'm dead…you’ve got nothing. You’re alone, Iago. For the rest of your life, that’s what you’ll be. Fucking alone." Internally he substituted his name for the boy's feeling as though her words were better suited for him. For it was true, he was nothing without her, nothing but alone. "SHUT. UP!" What he wouldn't give to kill him. His back was turned to the television now as he pounded his fists on the wall, leaving more blood there. Couldn't he just shut up?! Emery should live, not him, anyone but him. It was all Rolex could do to keep from smashing the tv, but then there would be no way to keep an eye on Emery. His sight was blurred and streaked as tears filled them but he refused to cry. She was not dead, she was not dead. Not yet.

Feelings that I never knew
And I hope that I never fall away
Will I fall away from you?
Feelings that I never knew
And I hope that I never fall away

But on the boy talked, each word grounding Rolex's patience to nothing until he finally screamed over the noise of the tv. "SHUT UP! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. SHE'S WORTH MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER BE." A tear disobeyed his order to hold position and broke free to forge a spiteful path down his cheek. "I still love her. You mean nothing, but she. She is everything to me." He slumped to the floor as Emery's voice came from behind him. Her words were blurred and smeared like the blodd specks on the wall in front of him, but he caught three that caused him to collapse further. "Kiss me again." With a sound like a wounded bear he slammed his fist into the wall again and again, more blood welling from scrapes on his knuckles as his ring finger gave a sharp crack and pain spiked before it went numb. "Fucking kiss me, you idiot." He put his head in his hands, the tears now all following the first one as they tumbled into his palms to mix with the blood and the pain.

Their voices faded in and out of his hearing as a thousand different types of pain stabbed him from all sides. "You’re a liar Emery. You know what I do to liars. You should have known better." With his back he couldn't see Iago make the final move, but he felt it. "I’m…I’m the liar? You…you said you wouldn’t walk away, you fucking traitor." Her voice was still so strong and yet it was so fragile. He didn't know if he wanted to cover his ears or turn his head to watch her in her final moments so he just stayed there, a mixture of tears and blood tracing its way between his fingers and over the back of his hands. "But you're funny, Iago. Trying to kill someone who's already dead." More words from the bastard who had robbed him of the most precious thing he had, and now he really did cover his ears, coating them in the same red colour that traced lines down his face and over his hands.

Before you go, you promise me something
I need to know, will you leave me lifeless?
Time moves so slow, I'm waiting for something
Waiting for something
Leave me lifeless

He didn't even listen to Emery talk, too afraid of hearing her fading away, until his name made him raise his head and drop his hands. "And Rolex – he...he can tell me he loves me all he wants, but I know he doesn’t love me for the monster I am. And you…well I don’t even know what your fucking problem is, but I’m not going to die here and pretend like I do." He shut his eyes and shuddered before turning himself around to face her. "That's not true." He barely recognized his own voice, so wracked by his shouting and his pain as it was. "You're no monster. I never saw a monster in you. Even when you left, you weren't a monster. Even when you fought me, you were no monster. Emery..." He sat, emotions falling from his eyes and mouth as he tried to find the words to say just what she was to him. She couldn't hear him, but that didn't matter. He had to tell her anyway, that's how much she meant to him. Too much to not say anything, too much to say anything. Nothing was enough.

"You can't control me, you can't...they can't control me...my brother, he can't...make them hurt, Iago: Aaron and Rolex and my parents and...and Opal and Ewe and..." Broken finger forgotten, he beat on the floor before him, frustrated with his inability to know what to say, to do. He just sat helplessly as Emery slipped further and further away, empty inside but not anywhere near void of feelings. Too tightly wrapped in the hurt that exuded from his love's body he couldn't focus long enough to know what he was feeling, let alone how to react. Broken in more ways than one, his finger beginning to throb though he didn't notice, he watched as Iago brushed a strand of hair from Emery's face, wishing more desperately than anything that he was the one to do that. Why did she have to die in the arms of a traitor. It should be his arms around her, whispering that he would never forget her, that he would always love her. He would always love her.

And now she was gone.