Born Dis Way #MyleeOnlyK

Wow Tom, you're really bad at rules, allow me to explain:
1. 40 health
2. one weapon
3. tom is going to die

[attacks Tom, sword]
[dice=200+1000]
[Stabbed in Forearm; 8.5]

[my damage: 3.5]

Butt you don't have permission to touch my butt. So, can you not?

[attacks Tom, sword]
[dice=200+1000]
[Stabbed in Stomach; 9.5]

[my damage: 7]

Ahah no. My fine booty is off limits to you.

[attacks Tom, sword]
[dice=200+1000]
[miss; 0.0]

[my damage: 15]

Is that the only line you've got, Tom? It's getting old, you should find a new one.

[attacks Tom, sword]
[dice=200+1000]
[Severed Left Ear; 8.0]

[my damage: 18.5]

That line was even worse. I feel sorry for whoever taught you those. You can keep my arm, it might come in handy.

[attacks Tom, sword]
[dice=200+1000]
[that's what I get for making puns; 0.0]

[my damage: 28.5]

IM STILL ALIVE BUT IM BARELY BREATHING.

[attacks Tom, sword]
[dice=200+1000]
[Shallow Cut on Left Forearm; 3.5]

[my damage: 36.5]