The Insanity of two (Kiah)

I feel the world spin around me as I draw in quick breaths and I lean gratefully against the wall. I lean down and place my hands on my knees trying to relieve myself of the stitch that was tight in my chest. With each gasping breath I feel the pressure release in my chest and I let out a silent sigh of relief. I tuck the loose hair behind my ears and stand up straight, reluctantly walking away from the wall and the down the street into the morning light. I feel the warmth of the sun beating down on my back and just let the heat spread throughout the whole of my body. For the first in many days I feel a smile play on my lips and I let it grow into a full grown grin. I just stand there for a couple of seconds and the heat sink into my skin until I was fully satisfied. As I tuned into the surrounding around me I noticed that people are giving me strange looks and I try my best to ignore them. I walk forward into the street and I start walking, my small legs carrying me forward.

After what felt like hours I stop and I look around me as curiosity bloomed inside my chest. For the past few hours I haven’t been paying attention to where I have been going so take the time allow myself to take in my surroundings. There are a few scattered houses and the cracked brick path slowly turns into a dirt trail which leads to the menacing, wicked wired fence. I study the fence that is in front of me which is dusted with rust and the top is laced with barb wire. I have never been this far out from the center of the district as my parents have never allowed it as they don’t think it’s suitable for a 12 year old to wonder the streets. I feel anticipation build up inside me as I walk towards the fence. The palm of my hands becomes slick with sweat and I nervously wipe them on the hem of my tattered shirt. My parents can’t tell me what to do anymore, I ran away from them I think to myself. As I reach the end of the trail I stop and stare past the wired fence and into the mysterious outside lands.

I cannot see anything out there that piqued my interest so I turn away and walk back the same way I came. As I walk closed to the district square I look into a dirty window to the left of me and I stand up straight. What I can see is a young girl with blonde hair and fiery blue eyes that glow. As I study my face closely I can still see the mark where my father hit me and the memory is right there in front. I remember the stinging pain of my father’s hand as it slammed into my check and how it left a prickling sensation which spread over my face. He hit mean because I got a few stupid B’s in my report. I shake my head quickly to chase away the remnants of the memory and turn away from the grimy window. I slowly set off down the street as the sun started to drop. Evening was dawning and I still have nowhere to sleep. I can feel the tears start to burn my eyes as desperation slowly enters my system and I start to panic. What was I thinking when I ran away from home? I have nowhere to go or sleep, I don’t have any food and my parents will never let me back in the house. I stare at the path in front of me and let the tears run freely down my face.

I didn’t know how long I had been curled up in a ball leaning against the building and sobbing. All I could do was sit there and cry and think of all the other options that I could have chosen. I could have chosen the option of my parents tormenting me about how dumb I am or go to my room and go and face it another day. But no, I cannot handle that torment another day. And still the tears came running down my cheeks and I the big pounding headache wouldn’t go. I stand up on my feet and face the window again. My eyes are rimmed red and puffy and I had tears still running down my cheeks. I rub my eyes and then draw in a shaky breathe. I look into my reflection and whisper, “I can do this, I don’t need parents.” The headache slowly ebbed away and I stand there getting control over myself. When I feel like I have a bit of self-control I head of down the street in search of a place to sleep.

After a few minutes of searching I find an ally that is empty and head down it. The shadows slowly creep down the wall and swallow the walkway completely so it was just darkness that surrounds me. My nose is then filled with a rotten smell that was overwhelming. I make a noise in the back of my throat but continue to head down towards the back of the ally. At this point I didn’t really care about the smell; I just need a place to sleep. I reach the end of the ally and find a place to lay down. I stretch myself out and lay there looking up into the sky that is full of twinkling stars. I close my eyes and block out everything and just focus on the rhythm of my breathing. Slowly I start to feel myself fade away into sleep leaving all my worries behind to handle the next day.