smell it on your skin }} Parks | Blitz

Sometimes a boy had to wonder right? Wander what life would have been like if they weren’t the person they were today. I wondered, all the time. I wonder what would of happened to me had I been born in the capitol, or on the moon- would I still have this never dying desire to hear people scream in pain, to watch the life drain from the eyes of those who surround me? Or would I be that sweet boy, that one who wanted to frolic around in the fields and pick daisy to show mother before affectionately placing them in a vase for the world to see? The thought struck me and instantly I felt sick to the stomach. Never- ever- did I want to be that boy, that one who picked flowers, or returned smiles as he wandered down the streets. It disgusted me and I flicked the thought to the back of my mind. Never did I ever want to think about that boy again. I was a tough, bloodthirsty boy who wanted to kill, who wanted to lame- like any other boy of course. We all thought like that, didn’t we?

Yeah the kids who were lucky enough to get into the games looked like they were about to shit bricks- but that was all a mask, wasn’t it? On the inside they would be bubbling with a sense of joy, of adrenaline and accomplishment. They were actors though, pretending to fear the thought of taking another’s life, pretending to hide from the fact that they were most likely going to die. I knew that I would not create that mask if I were ever lucky enough, I would burst from the shadows and fly into battle eager to take someone down. All of us were. I knew that. We all wanted to know what it felt like. We all wanted to feel the breaking flesh of another in our nails, we all wanted to know what it waslike to end the life of another. No matter how much one tried to hide it, I knew, I knew that they all felt the same- I was just honest enough to not hide it.