Broken headlights// Annastasia

One day I imagine everything to be perfect, but I know that can never happen as I don’t have my sister any more. That day on the beach was perfect. The sun was high in the sky filling my body with heat and the fluffy white clouds floated high in the sky. I didn’t have a worry in the world and my sister, Teresa was playing happily in the sand. I remember looking away from her for a few minutes and gazing at the waves that crashed ferocious on to the sand, foam splashing into the air. I continued to sit there feeling the heat seep into my body and the waves relaxing me further. This was my home, so why should I worry about anything. I looked over to where my sister was sitting before and my heart beat against my chest as all I could see was sand and empty space. Well, I really can’t describe what happened next. All I can say is that day she drowned and died and now I have any hole in my heart that eats away at me every day.

I don’t know why but I sit on the chair in my room and start to let the tears fall. I felt void of any happiness and that hole in my heart grew bigger and bigger until it was drowning me in sadness. My sister Teresa meant the world to me, she was my moon and I was her stars. I mean how can you replace something like that, something so special. The answer is you can’t it. The place in my heart that I kept for my sister that was full of love would always remain locked to everyone. I don’t know if I could feel happiness and love again, it would feel like I was betraying my sister. I allowed the tears to roll freely and my head started to pound. I couldn’t stop myself from crying, I just missed her so much. I rubbed my eyes viciously with balled up fists and my sobs slowly turned it to quiet sniffles. I was lost without her, wandering around aimlessly trying to find a meaning in life. Slowly I got up and stood in my doorway leaning against the frame and staring across the hallway to where my sister’s room laid. The door was shut and the handle was covered in a sprinkle of rust.

I walked forward and I found myself standing in front of my sister’s door. I reached out a cautious hand and grasped the door handle. I twisted the knob and pushed the door open. It let out a loud groan of complaint for the lack use but I kept on pushing unit the door swung wide open. I stepped into the room and a thin layer of dust covered the room. Even though Teresa hadn’t been in the room for many years it still smelt like her. It smelt like a sweet smell of candy mixed with slight salt smell. I inhaled deeply and sneezed as the dust particles went up my nose. The room was small and her bed had a pink quilt pulled tightly over the mattress. Teresa use to be a neat freak and I remember one day that I went into her room without her permission. She had yelled at me to leave and shoved me out the door. A small sad smile appeared on my face which disappeared quickly. I walked over to the window and looked out across the street and my heart stopped.

My gaze settled on the girl who stood on the path across the street. She looked about twelve, the same age my sister would’ve been and I felt my heart slam against my chest. I tried to calm myself down, drawing in deep breaths but nothing seemed to work. The only feature I could distinguish was her brown hair that cascaded down her back. I didn’t know why the girl made me feel like this. Was it because of her youth or the way she carried herself or was it because I was missing Teresa so much I would settle to be friends with anyone? But know there was something about her that made me feel like I knew her well. I needed to go and face her I realized. So with that I stumbled out of my sister’s room closing the door quickly behind me. I scrambled out the front door and rounded the corner to where I last saw that girl. She was walking down the street with her brown hair floating out behind. I tried to get control over myself and started to walk towards her following her. When I reached her I didn’t know what I would say but all I knew is that I had to say something, I had to for myself. With that thought in mind I speed up and reached out and touched her shoulder.