Angels in the Snow//// {Cato}

Time heals all wounds isn't a true saying because out of all the time that's gone by, I miss Storm and Jabber a lot. I miss them more than any words can say, but I'll never be able to bring them back. I'll never see them again unless I go to where they are, and I'm not ready to die. Or am I? Sometimes the thought of death is better than going on in this life. It's a struggle to go on knowing that I be sent away to my death just like Storm and Jabber. I hated watching them die. I hated watching on the screen as they bled out. I hated how everyone ganged up on Jabber in the bloodbath killing him. I guess it was better for him because he didn't have to kill anyone. He didn't have to worry about gathering food or anything because he died fast. He didn't have to worry about someone attacking him while he was sleeping like Storm did. Storm survived four days in the games. He helped kill people. He attacked his friend. He was doing so well, yet he didn't do well enough. He died anyway, and I couldn't do a thing to save him.

Snow covers the ground turning the green grass to white. It's absolutely beautiful, but I can't get the images of Storm bleeding out in the crimson snow in the arena out of my head. It haunts me in my sleep, and I hate how everyone expects me to go on with my life like nothing happened. It makes me angry because things did happen. I've lost two cousins to the damn games, and I never got the chance to say goodbye. My feet drag slowly through the snow as I keep my gaze towards the ground. Chills run up and down my arms even though I'm wearing a jacket. It's cold outside, but it feels good. It numbs the pain I'm feeling and causes me to be happy for the time being. It allows me to forget the past and think about my future. I don't have much of a future though. My future consists of me possibly dying in the games because not a single person would want to help me. Maybe I can be reaped in the games so I can die. I'd just be another dead tribute to the nation because nobody would even miss me. It's a haunting thought, but I know it's true.

I slide onto the ground landing on my back. I stare at the sky as the clouds turn to grey. Most people would be inside because it looks like another snow storm is coming, but I want to be outside. Maybe I can be buried in the snow and forgot about forever. They don't even know I exist anymore. They don't know anything about me. I can lay here and die because it's the best thing possible, but I can't die now. I don't want to be a disgrace, and I don't want to die in shame. They would want me to be happy, Storm and Jabber. They would want for me to keep moving on. They wouldn't want me to mourn for them like I have been, but they aren't here anymore. They can't help me. I place my arms out to my side and place my legs at an angle before I start moving my arms up and down and my legs side to side. I did this a lot when I was younger. I would lay in the snow making snow angels. Storm is an angel now, and so is Jabber, and today, I will make them the snow angels to hopefully bring some piece to the broken heart of mine that's currently unable to heal.